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The 'Hookup Culture' of my generation...

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1000Knives
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14 Jan 2013, 1:09 pm

rabbittss wrote:
well I dunno about where you are.. but here it's endemic amongst all crowds except the sad nerd males who never get a look in.

Church crowd, drug crowd, prep crowd, scene crowd.. all of them are "Hooking up" and can list their sexual exploits into novela length.. I'd hazard a guess it's more geographic than anything.. here, there isn't anything else to do except do drugs, get drunk, party, hook up.. there are no jobs, are no entertainment venues, all there are is people's bedrooms and front porches.. so you hang out, get drunk, have sex, wake up hungover and do it again.


Man I feel super cool now spending like every night alone in the gym.



rabbittss
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14 Jan 2013, 1:35 pm

1000Knives wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
well I dunno about where you are.. but here it's endemic amongst all crowds except the sad nerd males who never get a look in.

Church crowd, drug crowd, prep crowd, scene crowd.. all of them are "Hooking up" and can list their sexual exploits into novela length.. I'd hazard a guess it's more geographic than anything.. here, there isn't anything else to do except do drugs, get drunk, party, hook up.. there are no jobs, are no entertainment venues, all there are is people's bedrooms and front porches.. so you hang out, get drunk, have sex, wake up hungover and do it again.


Man I feel super cool now spending like every night alone in the gym.


well that's just it.. you choose to spend the money for a gym membership.. these people spend all their money on drugs and cheap beer... and then wonder why the few jobs going around can't be had by the likes of them..



1000Knives
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14 Jan 2013, 2:26 pm

rabbittss wrote:
1000Knives wrote:
rabbittss wrote:
well I dunno about where you are.. but here it's endemic amongst all crowds except the sad nerd males who never get a look in.

Church crowd, drug crowd, prep crowd, scene crowd.. all of them are "Hooking up" and can list their sexual exploits into novela length.. I'd hazard a guess it's more geographic than anything.. here, there isn't anything else to do except do drugs, get drunk, party, hook up.. there are no jobs, are no entertainment venues, all there are is people's bedrooms and front porches.. so you hang out, get drunk, have sex, wake up hungover and do it again.


Man I feel super cool now spending like every night alone in the gym.


well that's just it.. you choose to spend the money for a gym membership.. these people spend all their money on drugs and cheap beer... and then wonder why the few jobs going around can't be had by the likes of them..


I have the opposite experience. The people that spend their money on drugs and beer get jobs and I don't because I'm not "chill" or whatever, and the boss can relate as he/she spends all their money on drugs and beer also.



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14 Jan 2013, 2:58 pm

1000Knives wrote:
I have the opposite experience. The people that spend their money on drugs and beer get jobs and I don't because I'm not "chill" or whatever, and the boss can relate as he/she spends all their money on drugs and beer also.

Exactly. Management rarely cares about amzing work quality, etc. They want good "work ethic" which is to show up early, socialize, be fun and happy, do a barely-acceptable job, then possibly hang out for a few beers after work.



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14 Jan 2013, 3:11 pm

srsly people, it's not new. have you never heard of the sexual revolution?

Quote:
And, finally, hooking up isn’t radically new. As suggested above, the big change in adolescent and young adult sexual behavior occurred with the Baby Boomers. This makes sense, as the forces giving rise to casual sexual activity among the young—the availability of birth control pill, the women’s and sexual liberation movements, and the decline of in loco parentis on college campuses—took hold in the 1960s. But changes in youth sexual culture did not stop with the major behavioral changes wrought by the Sexual Revolution.

http://contexts.org/articles/summer-201 ... ung-women/


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14 Jan 2013, 3:22 pm

When I read the OP's post I could relate and then thought people would blast the OP for calling how all people with Aspergers don't want the same thing. To my surprise it seems like people actually agree for once. How odd.



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14 Jan 2013, 4:59 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
srsly people, it's not new. have you never heard of the sexual revolution?

Quote:
And, finally, hooking up isn’t radically new. As suggested above, the big change in adolescent and young adult sexual behavior occurred with the Baby Boomers. This makes sense, as the forces giving rise to casual sexual activity among the young—the availability of birth control pill, the women’s and sexual liberation movements, and the decline of in loco parentis on college campuses—took hold in the 1960s. But changes in youth sexual culture did not stop with the major behavioral changes wrought by the Sexual Revolution.

http://contexts.org/articles/summer-201 ... ung-women/


It's not new per say - but it *is* the first time that this has become a cultural phemonea that *wasn't* driven as part of an "ideal" in recent history (unlike was seen in the 60's as part of a revolution in ideals). It's actually become a part of pop and mainstream culture now for the first time on such a massive scale that it is the majority.

Especially for anyone who is uni aged or just after - hooking up is practically the majority culture now days.


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hyperlexian
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14 Jan 2013, 5:01 pm

Kjas wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
srsly people, it's not new. have you never heard of the sexual revolution?

Quote:
And, finally, hooking up isn’t radically new. As suggested above, the big change in adolescent and young adult sexual behavior occurred with the Baby Boomers. This makes sense, as the forces giving rise to casual sexual activity among the young—the availability of birth control pill, the women’s and sexual liberation movements, and the decline of in loco parentis on college campuses—took hold in the 1960s. But changes in youth sexual culture did not stop with the major behavioral changes wrought by the Sexual Revolution.

http://contexts.org/articles/summer-201 ... ung-women/


It's not new per say - but it *is* the first time that this has become a cultural phemonea that *wasn't* driven as part of an "ideal" in recent history (unlike was seen in the 60's as part of a revolution in ideals). It's actually become a part of pp culture now for the first time on such a massive scale that it is the majority.

Especially for anyone who is uni aged or just after - hooking up is practically the majority culture now days.

it was similar in my day too - FWB wasn't anything weird back then either.

if you actually look at the study, you'll see that there isn't a big increase in the numbers of people hooking up.


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Kjas
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14 Jan 2013, 5:05 pm

hyperlexian wrote:
it was similar in my day too - FWB wasn't anything weird back then either.

if you actually look at the study, you'll see that there isn't a big increase in the numbers of people hooking up.


But in your day, the concept of "dating" wasn't almost dead either - it's the combination of both we're talking about here, not one or the other.

Nowdays there is "hanging out" - "dating" has been almost entirely scrapped altogether unless it's part of the "hanging out" context.
Certainly the actual courtship going by the more traditional model is not really used any longer by my generation.


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14 Jan 2013, 5:10 pm

Kjas wrote:
hyperlexian wrote:
it was similar in my day too - FWB wasn't anything weird back then either.

if you actually look at the study, you'll see that there isn't a big increase in the numbers of people hooking up.


But in your day, the concept of "dating" wasn't almost dead either - it's the combination of both we're talking about here, not one or the other.

Nowdays there is "hanging out" - "dating" has been almost entirely scrapped altogether unless it's part of the "hanging out" context.
Certainly the actual courtship going by the more traditional model is not really used any longer by my generation.

nobody "dated" in my generation. we didn't go out to dinner and a movie and all that - we hung out in a big group and split off into couples sometimes, like a pair would hang back and make out. so if that is what you are talking about, dating was already dead and gone.


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14 Jan 2013, 5:12 pm

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/01/13/fashi ... =all&_r=1&

I believe this is the OP's article in question - so that perhaps we can all clarify exactly what phenomenon we're talking about. At least that's the nationwide one I read during the weekend that was on the topic.

"I was reading an article about how my generation (I am 26) has more evolved into what is called 'Hookup Culture' and that 'Dating Culture' is dead. "

I'm certain that's the article to which Metalab is referring



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14 Jan 2013, 5:18 pm

Hmmmmm.... makes me wonder if it's just the circles we hung around with or were even aware of. In my "band geeks" circle, people generally became dating exclusive couples as opposed to non-committed FWB. I wasn't aware of how the "cool kids" did things until our circles collided at one point during my senior year. One of the popular girls actually wanted to date me but "just couldn't - it's against the rules". To this day, I have little idea what these "rules" are... (the movie "Mean Girls" told me more!) I'm still WTF-stunned due to the ridiculous, illogical, irrational nature of the hyper-social group!

Pity these are the ones who move to the workforce and maintain their twisted ways, bending offices into cliques, having casual flings in their circle, and promoting friends and "cool kids" over those boring, nerdy working grunts. :roll:



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14 Jan 2013, 5:19 pm

It appears to be addressing a disparity between generations perhaps a bit further removed than X and Y (millennials).



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14 Jan 2013, 5:20 pm

oh lordy we were not the cool ones, we were the bullied misfits-turned-counterculture-punks/alt/goths. we continued to be bullied but at least we FELT cooler....


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14 Jan 2013, 5:25 pm

BlueMax wrote:
Hmmmmm.... makes me wonder if it's just the circles we hung around with or were even aware of. In my "band geeks" circle, people generally became dating exclusive couples as opposed to non-committed FWB. I wasn't aware of how the "cool kids" did things until our circles collided at one point during my senior year. One of the popular girls actually wanted to date me but "just couldn't - it's against the rules". To this day, I have little idea what these "rules" are... (the movie "Mean Girls" told me more!) I'm still WTF-stunned due to the ridiculous, illogical, irrational nature of the hyper-social group!

Pity these are the ones who move to the workforce and maintain their twisted ways, bending offices into cliques, having casual flings in their circle, and promoting friends and "cool kids" over those boring, nerdy working grunts. :roll:


It's definitely who you hang out with to a large extent.
But it also comes down to what you were raised with.

The only reason the last guy I dated was the traditional kind who took me out to dinner, took me out dancing regularly (partnered dancing, not hip hop), sang to me, or cooked at home for me was because of where he was from and the type of people he was raised around - and he was a rare gem in that regard.

He sees the hookup culture here but he doesn't like it - it makes him uncomfortable in many ways since he prefers monogamy and couldn't imagine anything else - much like you BlueMax.


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14 Jan 2013, 5:26 pm

abyssquick wrote:
It appears to be addressing a disparity between generations perhaps a bit further removed than X and Y (millennials).

perhaps. i am pre-millennial by a few years. my parents' generation had the "free love" thing going on as counterpoint to popular culture. it seems to me that there wasn't much real dating as we know it prior to the 20th century so perhaps people are grieving the demise of something rather short-lived.

the original article is an opinion piece, nothing much solid in the way of real research into cultural norms.


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