abusive, or "normal"??? Should I just suck it up?

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I agree with you, to a point. On the other hand - and I am not suggesting anyone "needs" to "toughen up" - it is possible, for some people at least, to learn to endure things they are not used to while remaining gentle. The important question is, is the benefit which will be gained by that learning process worth the cost of "toughening up" to the individual. If the answer is "yes", who am I to say they shouldn't? But if the answer is "no", who is anyone else to say they "need" to?

Please don’t think I was disagreeing with you, because I think your spot on. I was only making an observation based on something mellisamouse said. I was perhaps too subtle.

Or I simply didn't read your post carefully enough. Yes, you have made a very good point.

The thing is too, looking back on our childhoods, he had it wayy better off than I did, I know his whole family and they are awesome, his brother is one of the most stand up guys I know, his mom still treats him like a 5 year old.

I am wondering if some people are just born naturally cruel.

I cut my hair a few days ago, and I cut it about an inch shorter than usual so it would be healthier faster, so in less than a month it will be at it's usual length...

Today, we were getting ready to go out, and he starts laughing in the door of the bathroom, and says to me... while laughing the whole time.... "there's no easy way to say thins.... but you look like trailer park trash"... har har har har, then he puts his hand on my shoulders and I told him to "f-off"..... ( I never do that but he was also mocking my friends all day and me for various other things and enough was enough"...

Then we leave the house, and he's like, why are you so sensitive, I am embarrassed to be seen with you in public, go put some hair extentions in until your hair grows back , you look gross", and then says I am too sensitive if I can't take his honesty....

Well in a month when it is back to normal I feel like purposely cutting it all back off to spite him.

I am so mad right now, and SO trapped. I feel like I am trapped with the most shallow bully on the planet.

Wow.. thats so disrespectful to chop wood on your carpet, when the chopping block is there. Can you move the chopping block outside and make a rule that people can only chop wood outside? What if the axe goes through the floor or something?

He seems to have overreacted by screaming and yelling, and very much so.

Since i was a child i have been around screaming and yelling violently, sometimes directed at me. So it seems i have developed my own defense mechanism for that. I emotionally shut down in a way and will only talk in an extremely calm voice. So nowadays if my gf starts screaming or yelling at me, i will only respond calmly. It's a defense type mechanism. If i were to yell back it makes matters worse.
When i was a child and it was my mother screaming yelling at me i shut down to the point of only answering questions (one word answers if i was asked them) as anything i did i thought might make it worse.

Remaining in a calm demeanor and tonal range i think can help others sometimes calm down.
I am not sure this will work for everyone, it's just something that is automatic for me to do. It's almost like i make a calming chemical in my head while it happens. Its some odd defense mechanism i do...

It is your house, it is polite that others respect the rules of your home. When they fail to do so, they need to be told so that they don't walk all over you.
He must have really really been yelling. Did he have a bad day? Maybe he had a lot of anger built up and took it out on you, it sounds like that. Otherwise its an overreaction to yell like he did over a chopping wood incident.

You deserve respect, it's your house, those who are over need to respect that or be put in their place.

Yes, this is what I do, I try to say nothing at all, because I feel like talking is just a trick that will get me in more trouble....

I also am afraid to not talk too though because then I get accused of giving out the "silent treatment", so some days it feels like loose/loose for me.

Life is too short to live with people like that.

@melissamouse: "Shallow bully" is right. To say that about your HAIR, of all things?!? Come on. Talk about a cheap shot. He just likes to make you miserable because he can (because you let him).

His mom still treats him like a five-year-old...and he still acts like one, only worse.

From what I've heard, this person could be downright dangerous. Toss him out on his a**. You do NOT have to put up with this s**t for ONE MOMENT LONGER. I have known people like this of both genders. You will never have any peace until you are rid of him.

Take care.

yeah, I try to be tolerant, I try not to be too sensitive, but I am kind of the most disgusted I have ever been in my life after that one...

The wood chopping incident and the nasty remarks about your hair are both examples of abusive behavior. There is nothing normal about the reaction you describe to being asked or told to use the chopping block. Calling someone "trailer trash" because they cut their hair shorter than usual is not justifiable under any circumstances. Based on these two episodes, I think you should get away from this person as soon as you can.

awkward hug

Aside from the fact I would have asked why he was so sensitive he was 'embarrassed to be seen with you in public', this sounds to me like cruelty. I could be wrong, since I only have a few details - but you know him well, and you'll know if that rings true or not. If it is cruelty, that is not a good sign. At all. People who enjoy being cruel are bad news.

He doesn't sound like has any respect for your feelings at all. What a jerk.

Yeah, the thing is, I grew up here, I know and love everyone I see, and vice versa..... what was he thinking the queen of England or Martha Stewart was going to be out and ridicule him???

Are we entered into some imaginary beauty contest I don;t know about??

Anyone that would "see us out in public" are people I know, he doesn't know one person here, so who is going to be looking at him with this horrid freak that I apparently am in his eyes..

I think he is cruel, he says horrible things about other people all f the time and I can't stand hearing it..... when someone is mean to ANYONE it hurts me, probly more than when they are mean to me personally....

I can't wait to be unstuck..... in the meantime I feel like cutting off the rest of my hair, lol....

Sorry if you've already said, but what is stopping you from leaving?

Or from kicking him out?