how many here, will never get married

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appletheclown
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27 May 2013, 7:35 am

I'm not politically correct at all, and I'll never force anyone else to be either.


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BigSnoopy126
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27 May 2013, 9:33 am

meems wrote:
elaborate disney fantasies really are just fantasies


Well, they all say they "lived" happily ever after, not that life was happy. Since "happily" is an adverb it modifies how they lived, so they could choose to be happy despite their struggles. In other words, to be thankful for what they had instead of thinking life would be better apart because the Mongols attacked and destroyed their castle or their children died of smallpox.

My problem is the uncertainty of it all. Yes, as a guy I could love a woman even if we went broke, lost our dreams, a wife got really sick, or little things like she always left the cap off the toothpaste or did other stuff that some might consider annoying, and we could laugh at it. My grandparents were best friends and could laugh with each other and at themselves about anything, and my mom and stepdad are the same way. In fact, it's a hallmark of our family. (I don't mention my boil dad since I didn't see him after about 18-20 months old; he drnk & my mom knew it was no place for a handicapped child; to his credit he realized it, too.)

But, since I can't read people I'd never be able to tell if there was something I should be doing because she did think some guy looked nicer and was coming on to her. I'd never know if the magic would wear off and as hard as I tried, she wouldn't stick to her commitment and make the choice to put up with life even if it wasn't very happy due to poverty or sickness or whatever.

At least if I adopted a child young enough I'd have a chance to teach them and show them how to live in such a loving environment that hopefully they'd mature and learn to be the same. I'd know what I was getting into; with a spouse I wouldn't. I mean, I know a guy whose mother said she pretended to be a Christian so his father would fall in love with and marry her. And the dad, whom I also knew, was neurotypical!



JackCaliber
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28 May 2013, 12:03 pm

With the MFA degree I'm a year away from getting, I feel my life is getting interesting enough to be happy without marriage. I can't ever see myself giving up hope, though. I mean, hell, Look at Barbara Eden at 78. Would you pass up a chance to lock that down if you were in your 70's? :D



Ferrus91
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28 May 2013, 1:45 pm

MXH wrote:
Returning to topic on hand, marriage is but an agreement between two (or more) people and a government. It does not have an intrinsic good or bad. It is completely dependent on those involved on how its going to affect them. You keep Trying to elevate it to some sort of spiritual level and that if its not great its because people suck.

Ha - I have silently had this argument with my dad many times who thinks all marriages can be saved if they are worked out properly, who sees marriage as the most important day of someones life and who sees it as a spirital contract with god. What a load of bollocks. This concept of seeing it as something more than a contract I find bizarre. This is mainly a Christian issue as other cultures do not take this idea to such an extreme. One of the many idiocies that Christianity has shackled Western civilisation with I suppose.



ArthurDent
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28 May 2013, 1:47 pm

I can safely say no I will never get married due to my being unable to love people and my being undeserving of that feeling from people. It is the order of things.


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appletheclown
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28 May 2013, 2:03 pm

Ferrus91 wrote:
MXH wrote:
Returning to topic on hand, marriage is but an agreement between two (or more) people and a government. It does not have an intrinsic good or bad. It is completely dependent on those involved on how its going to affect them. You keep Trying to elevate it to some sort of spiritual level and that if its not great its because people suck.

Ha - I have silently had this argument with my dad many times who thinks all marriages can be saved if they are worked out properly, who sees marriage as the most important day of someones life and who sees it as a spirital contract with god. What a load of bollocks. This concept of seeing it as something more than a contract I find bizarre. This is mainly a Christian issue as other cultures do not take this idea to such an extreme. One of the many idiocies that Christianity has shackled Western civilisation with I suppose.


If you have a right to believe what you believe, do what you want, and be what you want to be, then don't get married, and don't bash those who do. You should be enjoying your freedoms to have fwb, not trashing something you'll never do.


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Cornflake
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28 May 2013, 2:15 pm

Knock it off, appletheclown.
You've spent the past few pages noisily defending your personal views on marriage so you're in no position to tell others how to act when they express theirs.
If you want to debate the virtues (or lack of them) of marriage, start a thread in PPR. This one simply asks how many here will never get married.


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Ferrus91
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28 May 2013, 4:47 pm

appletheclown wrote:
If you have a right to believe what you believe, do what you want, and be what you want to be, then don't get married, and don't bash those who do. You should be enjoying your freedoms to have fwb, not trashing something you'll never do.

Would that it were that simple.



Tyri0n
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31 May 2013, 9:40 am

meems wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
meems wrote:
My biological parents agreed not to have kids, and then my mother intentionally got pregnant with me, and my dad divorced her. The divorce wasn't the problem, it was a solution to a problem.

Divorce is a solution to a problem. If you stay together "for the kids" you end up resenting the kids, oftentimes. I'm glad my parents began their divorce before I was even born. They did themselves and myself a huge favor.

And they knew each other for nine years before they got married.
Your mother was a pedo from what you said, how was it the solution if your father could have protected you from your mother? You are lying about something. And why would you want to do your mother a favor you said you hated her? You said your mother didn't do you a favor, so why the change of heart? Did your mother actually love you in a motherly way?


You're really dense and you're making assumptions again. My dad did protect me from her, but he didn't know she was a pedophile until years and years after the fact. She didn't get to be around me for very long periods of time until I was a teenager and I decided to live with her because it was a repressed memory by then.

But my dad left her WHILE she was pregnant and then struggled to get custody of me and as a result, I didn't grow up in a house with a pedophile.

You're totally right, divorce saved me from living with a pedophile.


I sure wish my parents had gotten divorced like yours. That would have made my life much better to be able to spend some time away from an abusive parent, or even some time at school.



YoungAtHeart
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31 May 2013, 10:36 am

DarkRain wrote:
I refuse to get married. I don't want to deal with another person's problems, and I certainly don't want to deal with the problems that come with having kids. I'm single, and very happily so.


I agree with that. I wonder what it would be like if I was in a relationship and I do get lonely sometimes, but I don't want to be in a commitment with someone. I'm just not that way.

I never want to have any kids either.


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shamo
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31 May 2013, 7:32 pm

PsychoSarah wrote:
I find marriage to be a pointless practice. I can express my affection without some expensive, outdated ritual.


i agree and marriage means your stuck in law , so if it goes bad it will really "hurt" you .
you can think of losing your home etc that is the main reason i don't like and fear marriage (i cant even connect with women)
afraid of loosing everything.



managertina
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01 Jun 2013, 1:27 am

There's lots to lose and lots to gain. My sister's marriage is filled with love. My parents' marriage is filled with love too. I just don't think I will ever meet mr. Right and I do not think I am organized enough to manage a house.



300series
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16 Aug 2017, 3:40 pm

No. When I was 4 years old, I knew that I did not want to get married, and I still feel the same way. I have never met any one that I would even consider spending my life with. My parents divorced, and I am not at all fond of my Dad's current wife.



If I meet a woman, then I hope that she feels the same way as I do, and just wants to be boyfriend & girlfriend, living separate lives, and does not pressure me to marry her.



green0star
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18 Aug 2017, 9:37 am

Though I do have a boyfriend the likelihood of getting married looks quiet slim. Since moving out of state we're basically running a long distance relationship for the most part. My parents disapprove of him and we've only been together for about 5 months now. I've only had 2 other boyfriends in my entire life and the older I get the less human contact really matters to me. If it doesn't work out then I got plenty of doujinshi sources to collect from (;



CzigBot
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18 Aug 2017, 4:00 pm

I won't get married unless the laws are made more favorable or I find a workaround that makes it impossible for me to lose any of my money or belongings. I don't want half or more of everything I own taken away just because the woman I married doesn't like me anymore. I'd be especially worried because I want to pick a good house and stay there forever, gradually upgrading it with stuff like an underground bunker, armory, and gun range. I'd hate to lose all of that hard work.

green0star wrote:
If it doesn't work out then I got plenty of doujinshi sources to collect from (;

Now you've got the right idea.



Bataar
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18 Aug 2017, 4:02 pm

Prior to getting married, one has to meet someone to date. That's been my hold up and it doesn't look like that's ever going to change.