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SwiftSky
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 3 Mar 2016
Gender: Female
Posts: 28

17 May 2016, 4:53 pm

I've been with my partner for a year and a half.
I suspect he has aspergers and often have to adjust my behaviour to accommodate this.
I've spoken to an aspergers specific relationship dating line who make some of the problems in NT/Aspie relationships clear. I'm personally feeling very overwhelmed by the amount of information, some of it conflicting.
We have hit a lot of the problems listed as common in NT/aspie relationships.
Slowly, he is coming to terms with a possible diagnosis but absolutely doesn't want a formal one. I find it hard describing things to him and it's very tiring being almost the only person close to him and helping him translate all the time, supporting him emotionally and trying to apply logic when I just think so differently.
There is big love but I sometimes question the tiredness, overwhelm and stress we both feel and how to move forwards in the relationship. We are both thinking about children and living together but I just wonder if it's realistic.
I would love to know if anyone is in successful relationships with NT female/aspie male. How do you both cope?
Are there any parents with this dynamic? How do you cope with the demands of parenting? Are there any happy easy going relationships around?



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

17 May 2016, 5:19 pm

Before you think about having kids with this man, I would assess his ability to take care of kids.

Some Aspies are able to take care of kids quite well. Others.....not so much.



UnturnedStone
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 21 Apr 2015
Age: 39
Posts: 325
Location: Australia

17 May 2016, 7:40 pm

I am a male ND in a happy easy going relationship with NT girl.

It can work, but you have to be willing to meet each other half way, if you are trying to understand him, he must try to understand you...

Remember: Being ND is no excuse for being a Jerk.

We are also parents (and live together), and while it does work, it is only because we have excellent communication and a stable relationship, If you are not happy and able to have a good relationship with your partner, you should not have kids. They will not help. In fact they will make it harder (much harder).

It is also important to remember, there will be frustrating times, where you just don't understand each other and that's ok. It can be hard not to harbor resentment but this helps no one. You need to be able to have an open conversation and attempt to be understanding (goes both ways).

He must be as willing to make things work as you are, It cannot be one sided or it won't last.