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Are you anxious when you are single?
I am a man, I am more anxious when I am single. 14%  14%  [ 6 ]
I am a man, I am more anxious when I am in a relationship. 17%  17%  [ 7 ]
I am a woman, I am more anxious when I am single. 7%  7%  [ 3 ]
I am a woman, I am more anxious when I am in a relationship. 5%  5%  [ 2 ]
I don't get anxious about dating. 14%  14%  [ 6 ]
I want to be single. 10%  10%  [ 4 ]
I don't know. 33%  33%  [ 14 ]
Total votes : 42

Vomelche
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31 May 2014, 12:07 pm

Note, I only added genders to the equation, because I've read some studies that have shown this to be a factor and am curious.



Azereiah
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31 May 2014, 12:14 pm

I am only anxious when it's a very, very bad idea to be in a relationship with a given person.

I don't have that reaction to healthy relationships.



Stargazer43
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31 May 2014, 12:16 pm

Anxious? Anxious about what?



ReverieMe
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31 May 2014, 2:06 pm

Anxious about what, exactly? Dying alone? Breaking up? Neither of those bother me as much as the getting-to-know-someone part.



Shebakoby
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02 Jun 2014, 4:33 am

i just have general random anxiety. I've never been in a relationship so I don't know if there is any difference.



Cafeaulait
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02 Jun 2014, 7:40 am

I'm anxious when I am single and I am anxious when I am in a relationship.



Kiriae
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02 Jun 2014, 8:23 am

I don't know.

When I am alone I might get constant anxiety but it is the kind of anxiety I am used to and I know how to deal with. My life is predictable so I know there is nothing to be afraid of. But I know I have noone who help me when I get in trouble so it brings worries about the future.

On the other hand being with someone disturbs me, keeps my mood up and doesn't let me to worry about so small everyday stuff. But it makes my life unpredictable so I get more anxious for other stuffs. I can never know how the other person will react and what the next day brings. It's scary. And I also worry about unintentionally hurting the other one and that my feelings may not be strong enough because what I feel is never the kind of romantic love. I don't believe in the love at first sight etc. The feeling of love I experience is more like having the person as a part of myself. I worry I might not love him/her but just need them. I always have a felling I don't do enough compared to what they do for me.



Eccles_the_Mighty
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02 Jun 2014, 11:18 am

I don't worry.

If I'm in a relationship then I don't analyze it to death and I don't worry if once in a while she acts a bit spooky, people have mood changed now and again.

If I'm not in a relationship then I enjoy the single life and I take a RELAXED approach to dating. If you try too hard then it shows and the women don't like men who appear desperate.

All of this has come from experience.


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Vomelche
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02 Jun 2014, 8:44 pm

I find myself to be more anxious while I am single, I don't have much relationship experience to compare to though. But, other single people I talk to seem more anxious too.



Pobbles
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02 Jun 2014, 9:17 pm

Anxiety and contentedness have nothing to do with my relationship status, I can experience both (though not usually at the same time) whether I am single or attached.

Grass is sometimes greener, sometimes not. I haven't noticed a pattern... yet.


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hale_bopp
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02 Jun 2014, 10:53 pm

No, I'm more relaxed when I'm single.



SoftwareEngineer
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03 Jun 2014, 12:26 am

I like having a girlfriend around the house. However, it's nice to be single during projects. Like, right now I'm getting ready to sell my house and build a new one. The prospect of juggling a girlfriend and a construction project, along with everything else I do, doesn't seem a great scenario.



nick007
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03 Jun 2014, 2:38 am

It depends. When I was single I was anxious talking to girls I liked. I was pretty anxious at times in my 1st two relationships which was somewhat related to my OCD. They became my special interests & I was very insecure & my 1st girlfriend had some problems that caused me to worry about her. I felt anxious in the beginning of my current relationship like I was with my other two two but the anxiety wasn't as bad because I had grew some from the experiences & started anxiety medication shortly before my 2nd relationship ended because it was playing off all the problems & making things worse & I didn't want my anxiety to screw the relationship up like my 1st relationship.


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04 Jun 2014, 11:52 am

Female, more anxious when single.

I loathe the "getting to know new people" stage, it's so confusing & stressful and amplifies my insecurities.
I much prefer already being in a relationship with a familiar person with whom there is mutual understanding.

Transitions & novelty are terrible & miserable for me, compared with the comfort and relaxation possible for me if I'm in a good relationship.
My "best self" isn't engaged with strangers, my "best self" is activated when I'm already involved with someone I accept who accepts me.

Which isn't to say I don't have difficulties while in a relationship-just that I'd rather work on those than to have to start from scratch with a wholly unknown person.


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wendigopsychosis
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08 Jun 2014, 2:58 pm

Because of the option saying "I don't get anxious about dating" I assume this question means dating anxiety, not generalized anxiety. Cause I'm generally anxious no matter what.

I voted that I'm more anxious [about dating] when single (and I'm a woman). Mostly because that stupid cultural narrative tells me that there's "more on the line" when it comes to dating as a single person. Not finding a mate is presented as the worst thing that can happen to a woman, after all. I know that it's illogical, and it's just a holdover from bygone times where a woman was only valuable as marriageable property, and an unmarried woman had no means of support... But it's still so drilled into us that it's hard to get rid of the visceral anxiety that being a single adult woman causes. It just feels like the stakes are lower when you're dating as a not-single person.


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jrjones9933
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08 Jun 2014, 4:00 pm

I just don't know. So many factors influence my level of anxiety. As I have grown older, I have fewer anxieties relating to not having a relationship, and more relating to having one. However, I have made a lot of changes in my life since my last relationship, and I did a lot of it in order to reduce my stress level.