Having trouble maintaining relationships

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I really enjoy having a partner but I can never seem to stay with 1 girl.
I've never cheated before in my life, I just have trouble with handling a relationship or getting a girlfriend in general.

I will admit it, I am a little bit of a sleaze or in other terms "a dirty dog". I flirt a lot and I blush and get a dodgy tummy whenever I see beautiful women everywhere.

I know it's too much information and a bit gross to confess but I know it is also natural and a lot of adults do it but I watch a lot of porn as well and read dirty magazines as well.

But I really want to have a girlfriend and someday be a husband. I have been heart broken several times and it took me almost forever to get over it.

I wonder if I'll ever find someone who will be right for me, I just don't want it to happen too late, ya know? I don't wanna meet someone when I'm 90 years old, it's bad enough as it is that I'm almost 30!

I loved this woman, I thought she was "the one", she was wonderful, amazing, totally blew my mind away, we had chemistry and there was a strong bond and connection between us but she rejected me because she thought I was a push over because I'm so sensitive and compassionate.

Now, there's someone else, she loves it that I am sweet to her and appreciates it and she accepts me for who I am but there is 1 huge problem. She works at my local hospital. I asked one of her friends/co-workers about the situation and she said "No one can control how they feel, it can't be helped.", she knew immediately who I was talking about without me even saying so. I pretty much want to be with her. I like her a lot. She's wonderful and I can't get her out of my mind.

I can relate to a lot of what you are saying. Relationships have always been a struggle, for me. Outwardly, I am extroverted and easy to talk to - but, underneath that, I am an introvert and have a hard time letting my guard down. Having been hurt many times; over the years, I've built myself a suit of emotional armor and have only recently realized that I need to become free of it.

I don't intend to judge you or call you down; but, I don't think that porn is good for anyone. I've come to see it as something very destructive and have altogether removed it from my life. I had become addicted to it, which was hard to consciously realize. It was never that I actually LIKED it, but that I felt sexually frustrated and it was a convenient outlet for that frustration. I don't know how it is for you, but leaving it behind is one of the best things I've ever done for myself.

As a result, I've also stopped looking at women as sex objects. I hadn't been consciously aware that I was looking at them this way, if that makes any sense. But unconsciously, I saw them as "meat" first and people second. I thought that obsessing over sex all the time was just "normal". Anyways, it's not as if I stopped liking, or being interested in sex. Just that now, it takes up little of my thoughts.

There was a time when I spent a great deal of energy chasing women around and other parts of my life suffered, due to this. Where I'm at now, is that I welcome the idea of a positive and constructive relationship, but I'm not going to bust my ass seeking one out. I'll wait till the opportunity finds me.

As far as marriage, I long ago decided that it's not for me. Neither, do I plan to have any children. I would like to find a special someone and (for lack of a better term) settle down, but marriage doesn't have to be a part of that picture.

I've had my fair share of rejections and a few relationships that ended so horribly that it took a long time to recover from. Most recently, I become "more than friends" with a longtime friend of mine. She has always been special to me and though we had several intimate moments, over the years, it never led to anything. Well, we started spending more time together and got a lot closer and then everything went wrong - leaving a massive rift between us. That left me shaken and with a weight of guilt.

I know what you mean about wondering if you'll ever find that person, all we can really do is to keep the hope alive and keep moving forward.

I agree with the above poster. Porn is a prerequisite to objectifying women. It can become addictive and I don't feel any amount is good for anyone. Just as someone watches what food they put into their bodies they should also watch what they put into their minds.

Why is her working at the hospital a huge problem? If you like her then be with her try to establish some sort of connection in her life. This is with spending time with her by asking her out, entertaining her by asking her out, and eventually over time an emotional connection should slowly develop. This is done when a person wants to share their emotions with you because of how you respond, how you make them feel and thus manage their emotions this will also lead to them wanting to spend more time with you due to how you make them feel. Then once this is all stable attempt to progress the connection further with sex, living together, and eventually marriage.

My quirks mess them up along with my occasional negative flashbacks which then tend to make me withdrawl from affectionate advances at times.