Do people with Asperger's remain virgins for life?

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RetroGamer87
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18 Dec 2017, 5:08 am

There are loads of exceptions. Me for example.


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auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 5:12 am

but out of millions, how many?



Sabreclaw
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18 Dec 2017, 6:20 am

auntblabby wrote:
but out of millions, how many?


I imagine a depressingly high amount.



auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 6:25 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
but out of millions, how many?


I imagine a depressingly high amount.

it makes me think there are two different species of aspie- the socially high-functioning, and then the rest of us who are the children of a lesser god. Image



Sabreclaw
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18 Dec 2017, 6:42 am

auntblabby wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
but out of millions, how many?


I imagine a depressingly high amount.

it makes me think there are two different species of aspie- the socially high-functioning, and then the rest of us who are the children of a lesser god. Image


Yeah, basically. I feel like the worst kind of failure, lol. I recently got a job, which should feel like an achievement for me, but being surrounded by people who aren't complete social and romantic screw-ups makes it painfully clear how pathetic I am. It's not a pleasant feeling. Every step I take forwards to try and fix my self-esteem ends up with me feeling even worse. Yay.



auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 7:57 am

Sabreclaw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
Sabreclaw wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
but out of millions, how many?


I imagine a depressingly high amount.

it makes me think there are two different species of aspie- the socially high-functioning, and then the rest of us who are the children of a lesser god. Image


Yeah, basically. I feel like the worst kind of failure, lol. I recently got a job, which should feel like an achievement for me, but being surrounded by people who aren't complete social and romantic screw-ups makes it painfully clear how pathetic I am. It's not a pleasant feeling. Every step I take forwards to try and fix my self-esteem ends up with me feeling even worse. Yay.

I didn't start feeling better about myself until I was booted out from the rat race. now living in a tin can in the woods, at least I am my own best company now :jester:



AspieOutlaw89
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18 Dec 2017, 10:32 am

funeralxempire wrote:
AspieOutlaw89 wrote:
we all do,every single one of us,based on how we appear to women upon eye contact


We all do, except for the countless exceptions to the rule. I'm sorry to hear you've convinced yourself of this. :|


i don't even believe that aspies can find a girlfriend :x :x :x :x :x :x :x .that's why i would rather lose mine to giant teddy bears,giant stuffed tigers & giant stuffed gorillas,while using them as sex toys (they do it better than nt women & girls)



auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 10:49 am

silicone Suzy been good to me :bounce:



funeralxempire
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18 Dec 2017, 2:10 pm

AspieOutlaw89 wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
AspieOutlaw89 wrote:
we all do,every single one of us,based on how we appear to women upon eye contact


We all do, except for the countless exceptions to the rule. I'm sorry to hear you've convinced yourself of this. :|


i don't even believe that aspies can find a girlfriend :x :x :x :x :x :x :x .that's why i would rather lose mine to giant teddy bears,giant stuffed tigers & giant stuffed gorillas,while using them as sex toys (they do it better than nt women & girls)



I have autism. I have a girlfriend. Your claim stands debunked, if at least one person with autism can have a sigoth, it's false to insist that people on the spectrum are incapable of participating in relationships.

That doesn't mean that people on the spectrum won't find it harder than others, or that everyone on the spectrum is equally capable of participating in relationships - but then again not all NTs are all that well-equipped to participate in them either.

Whether or not you're able to doesn't impact whether anyone else on the spectrum can.


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18 Dec 2017, 3:26 pm

I posted in this thread sometime ago as it's in my watched topics, but here goes a new post:

As a teenager I stressed and worried about this (even though I'd received oral at 12yo) - although I didn't know I was ASD back then.

But since then I've had WAY more sex than most people do in multiple lifetimes.

At 35 I've been single all my life and maybe always will be. That's sort of the new stress, I suppose. It's self imposed, though. Some have had minor crushes on me that I haven't been interested in, I've had a few major crushes on others that weren't mutual. Maybe someday there will be a mutual thing? I can't say it will NEVER happen. But if it doesn't? Meh, whatever, I have pplllllleeeeeennnnty of long term goals to work on as well as tons of friends, work, play, social life whatever so I'm good.

The self imposed stress part of it is when I get to thinking that I should intentionally avoid any possibility of a relationship so as not to burden someone else with my ASD traits & symptoms. That's something I will likely always struggle with.

But w/e that's a different pile of BS. As for sex, no, Aspies aren't necessarily doomed to be sexless for life. I'm not, others aren't, my ASD siblings are all happily(ish lol) partnered, I've hooked up with other Aspies etc. Aspies have sex lives, too.


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thomasDgash
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18 Dec 2017, 3:43 pm

Darwin, remember the familial nature of Aspies. If we didn't or couldn't loose our virginity, we wouldn't exist.



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18 Dec 2017, 4:06 pm

MSBKyle wrote:
Do aspies never date, get married, or have sex? I am 21, a virgin, and never dated anyone. I don't ever see myself in a committed relationship or engaging in sexual activity with anyone. Is this typical with people with Asperger's?


Im an Aspie married to another Aspie. We have plenty of sex. Next question.



auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 7:07 pm

the higher functioning aspies here [socially successful and probably also financially successful, those two seem to go in pairs] just don't grok the struggles of those ones of us not similarly gifted. they tend to think "if I can do it, then anybody else who can't just isn't trying hard enough or has a bad attitude" et al. to me, that is the social equivalent of the right-wing "I've got mine, so screw you!" attitude so prevalent in amuuurica now. :|



RetroGamer87
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18 Dec 2017, 7:11 pm

auntblabby wrote:
the higher functioning aspies here [socially successful and probably also financially successful, those two seem to go in pairs] just don't grok the struggles of those ones of us not similarly gifted.

Isn't it possible to go from one to the other?


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auntblabby
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18 Dec 2017, 7:18 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
auntblabby wrote:
the higher functioning aspies here [socially successful and probably also financially successful, those two seem to go in pairs] just don't grok the struggles of those ones of us not similarly gifted.

Isn't it possible to go from one to the other?

for the "late bloomers" [what actor Denzel Washington termed, "socially ret*d"] I am sure of it. but for the "never bloomers" or stunted ones among us, i'm more doubtful.



Esmerelda Weatherwax
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18 Dec 2017, 8:43 pm

^^ This. It seems to be true in pretty much every area of life - people who succeed forget what their life was like before that success, and lose touch with people whose lives are still like their life used to be.

I have been lucky, and I know it. Someone really loved me once and I loved him, til we went our separate ways. A decade later, someone else really liked the hell out of me, and he was very lovable. I loved him - and surprise! he loved me back! - til we went our separate ways.

I'm certain these men were Aspie - we could joke together and play with words and share geeky stuff, like no other friendships or dating that I've known. Each of them loved that I was smart; they thought that was sexy as hell. And I thought each of them was sexy as hell, because they were. To find that not once, but twice in one lifetime? How lucky can a woman be?

Truth be told, knowing these guys ruined me for anyone NT, and pretty much anyone else. I've seen what others have - the NTs I've worked with and for - and I wouldn't trade. I'm happy with the memories.

I wish I had a rune, a spell, a prayer, to say for everyone who hasn't had this in their lives, so that they could find it, and maybe have it last lifelong.


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