Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Dating is harder for Aspie guys because...

Page 5 of 6 [ 96 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

26 Jun 2015, 2:28 pm

LyraLuthTinu wrote:
,
Funny how the only thing guys seem to see in posts like this is that as long as someone is getting laid on a regular basis there is no problem with dating. As long as your balls aren't blue, you're happy. Whereas others want a meaningful relationship to form out of dating, not just a regular occurance of wham bam thank you ma'am.


Not me at least. I'm asexual, and for me a relationship would only be meaningful if I have a strong attachment (and typically an obsession) with a girl. I also prefer the whole thing to advance slowly, typically months or even years. Dating doesn't fit into this in any way.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

26 Jun 2015, 2:38 pm

I don't mind fixing dinners for ladies I like. I only wish I were a better cook.



LyraLuthTinu
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 1 Jul 2014
Age: 55
Gender: Female
Posts: 631
Location: Tacoma

26 Jun 2015, 5:24 pm

rdos wrote:
LyraLuthTinu wrote:
,
Funny how the only thing guys seem to see in posts like this is that as long as someone is getting laid on a regular basis there is no problem with dating. As long as your balls aren't blue, you're happy. Whereas others want a meaningful relationship to form out of dating, not just a regular occurance of wham bam thank you ma'am.


Not me at least. I'm asexual, and for me a relationship would only be meaningful if I have a strong attachment (and typically an obsession) with a girl. I also prefer the whole thing to advance slowly, typically months or even years. Dating doesn't fit into this in any way.


Sorry, I thought it pretty clear that that part of my post was a generalization in response to the generalizations of it's harder for guys and look at all the happily married people who are saying it was hard for them too.

To those posters I would add: it won't be easy for you to learn from the examples and advice of happily married posters like Kraftie Kortie if you're busy being jealous that they've succeeded in acquiring what you're currently struggling to acheive. Just because they have it now doesn't mean it was easy for them to get. Maybe even if you take their advice and learn from it instead of whining about it you'll acheive it quicker, and then they can be jealous of you because you got it quicker.

IOW put your big boy pants on and work it instead!


_________________
Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 141 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 71 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)
Official diagnosis: Austism Spectrum Disorder Level One, without learning disability, without speech/language delay; Requiring Support


Ban-Dodger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Age: 1026
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,820
Location: Возможно в будущее к Россию идти... можеть быть...

26 Jun 2015, 8:10 pm

Aspies are just late-bloomers. You can think of it somewhat like we're elves with longer life-spans than humans.
Unless of course we foolishly buy into the NT-ways & NT life-styles & NT-habits (i.e.: status-quo-perpetuation).
That would probably cause our life-spans to shorten by being suckered by the same things that NTs are.


_________________
Pay me for my signature. 私の署名ですか❓お前の買うなければなりません。Mon autographe nécessite un paiement. Которые хочет мою автографу, у тебя нужно есть деньги сюда. Bezahlst du mich, wenn du meine Unterschrift wollen.


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

26 Jun 2015, 8:12 pm

Ban-Dodger wrote:
Aspies are just late-bloomers. You can think of it somewhat like we're elves with longer life-spans than humans.
Unless of course we foolishly buy into the NT-ways & NT life-styles & NT-habits (i.e.: status-quo-perpetuation).
That would probably cause our life-spans to shorten by being suckered by the same things that NTs are.


which is fine if your'e a woman, but women dont' like late bloomers, after 30 its all over if you haven't bloomed as a man unles syou' get a great paying job and can provide for some woman and her 5 kids.



Ban-Dodger
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jun 2011
Age: 1026
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,820
Location: Возможно в будущее к Россию идти... можеть быть...

26 Jun 2015, 9:29 pm

You obviously haven't lived amongst any of the Russian/Ukrainian-cultures where available men are like fresh meat that many of their very young women drool over...

sly279 wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
Aspies are just late-bloomers. You can think of it somewhat like we're elves with longer life-spans than humans.
Unless of course we foolishly buy into the NT-ways & NT life-styles & NT-habits (i.e.: status-quo-perpetuation).
That would probably cause our life-spans to shorten by being suckered by the same things that NTs are.


which is fine if your'e a woman, but women dont' like late bloomers, after 30 its all over if you haven't bloomed as a man unles syou' get a great paying job and can provide for some woman and her 5 kids.

Also, your belief about this 30s thing is more like the opposite of reality, for the more experienced man makes less mistakes, and is more attractive to the majority of females, whilst most women are considered to be past their prime after reaching their 30s (that is not to say that they don't become hornier in their 30s & 40s which is why you actually have pretty damn good chances of being able to have affairs with even married women in their 30s or 40s, cougars if you may, perhaps we could call them MILFs if you want, simply by giving them some obviously « creepy (i.e.: you are obviously horny for her body) » attention if you can somehow find opportunities to be alone together away from their husbands/social-circles).


_________________
Pay me for my signature. 私の署名ですか❓お前の買うなければなりません。Mon autographe nécessite un paiement. Которые хочет мою автографу, у тебя нужно есть деньги сюда. Bezahlst du mich, wenn du meine Unterschrift wollen.


autismthinker21
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2011
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 540
Location: illinois

26 Jun 2015, 9:34 pm

Ban-Dodger wrote:
You obviously haven't lived amongst any of the Russian/Ukrainian-cultures where available men are like fresh meat that many of their very young women drool over...
sly279 wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
Aspies are just late-bloomers. You can think of it somewhat like we're elves with longer life-spans than humans.
Unless of course we foolishly buy into the NT-ways & NT life-styles & NT-habits (i.e.: status-quo-perpetuation).
That would probably cause our life-spans to shorten by being suckered by the same things that NTs are.


which is fine if your'e a woman, but women dont' like late bloomers, after 30 its all over if you haven't bloomed as a man unles syou' get a great paying job and can provide for some woman and her 5 kids.

Also, your belief about this 30s thing is more like the opposite of reality, for the more experienced man makes less mistakes, and is more attractive to the majority of females, whilst most women are considered to be past their prime after reaching their 30s (that is not to say that they don't become hornier in their 30s & 40s which is why you actually have pretty damn good chances of being able to have affairs with even married women in their 30s or 40s, cougars if you may, perhaps we could call them MILFs if you want, simply by giving them some obviously « creepy (i.e.: you are obviously horny for her body) » attention if you can somehow find opportunities to be alone together away from their husbands/social-circles).


I don't believe this women in their 30s ideal. Cougar's are just a way of explaining the real adult purpose. Not like It's anything to see. every woman on this Planet is different.


_________________
In order to be free, you must take your chances of letting your tortured self to be forgiven.


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

26 Jun 2015, 11:34 pm

Ban-Dodger wrote:
You obviously haven't lived amongst any of the Russian/Ukrainian-cultures where available men are like fresh meat that many of their very young women drool over...
sly279 wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
Aspies are just late-bloomers. You can think of it somewhat like we're elves with longer life-spans than humans.
Unless of course we foolishly buy into the NT-ways & NT life-styles & NT-habits (i.e.: status-quo-perpetuation).
That would probably cause our life-spans to shorten by being suckered by the same things that NTs are.


which is fine if your'e a woman, but women dont' like late bloomers, after 30 its all over if you haven't bloomed as a man unles syou' get a great paying job and can provide for some woman and her 5 kids.

Also, your belief about this 30s thing is more like the opposite of reality, for the more experienced man makes less mistakes, and is more attractive to the majority of females, whilst most women are considered to be past their prime after reaching their 30s (that is not to say that they don't become hornier in their 30s & 40s which is why you actually have pretty damn good chances of being able to have affairs with even married women in their 30s or 40s, cougars if you may, perhaps we could call them MILFs if you want, simply by giving them some obviously « creepy (i.e.: you are obviously horny for her body) » attention if you can somehow find opportunities to be alone together away from their husbands/social-circles).


may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.

cougars go after super hot guys not average guys.

nope born and raised in the west civilization , more specifically the USA.



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

27 Jun 2015, 1:40 am

I've said it before and I'll say it again: sex is a market. Women are the sellers, men are the buyers.

If you're a man and you want sex, you're gonna have to trade for it. Whether it's money, status, whatever... you're gonna have to offer the woman something in exchange for her sexual consent, and if you don't have anything to trade, then you won't get sex. It's as simple as that.



Gauldoth
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 7 Feb 2015
Posts: 333

27 Jun 2015, 3:17 am

Ban-Dodger wrote:
You obviously haven't lived amongst any of the Russian/Ukrainian-cultures where available men are like fresh meat that many of their very young women drool over...


Lol, who are you trying to fool? Those women are looking for a meal ticket, nothing more. :lol:



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

27 Jun 2015, 3:59 am

Gauldoth wrote:
Ban-Dodger wrote:
You obviously haven't lived amongst any of the Russian/Ukrainian-cultures where available men are like fresh meat that many of their very young women drool over...


Lol, who are you trying to fool? Those women are looking for a meal ticket, nothing more. :lol:


I suspect that's what all the 1015 year-old guys keep telling themselves.



rdos
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 6 Jul 2005
Age: 62
Gender: Male
Posts: 6,089
Location: Sweden

27 Jun 2015, 4:01 am

sly279 wrote:
may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.


Not true. I've had a much younger (pretty attractive) woman show interest in me without knowing ANYTHING about me. I've also flirted with much younger women, and some do reciprocate.

Also, on my experimental OkC account, I announced that I primarily was interested in younger women, and I regularly get matches from women in their 20s and 30s that have my age in their preferred age range. These women don't have extreme requirements.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jun 2015, 2:36 pm

rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.


Not true. I've had a much younger (pretty attractive) woman show interest in me without knowing ANYTHING about me. I've also flirted with much younger women, and some do reciprocate.

Also, on my experimental OkC account, I announced that I primarily was interested in younger women, and I regularly get matches from women in their 20s and 30s that have my age in their preferred age range. These women don't have extreme requirements.


and you have a good job no? I somehow doubt you're a homeless min wage worker.

if some times a pig flies, does that mean all pigs can fly? with anything there are things that happen rarely that doesnt mean it'll happen to everyone. people win the lottery too I hear, but most people don't.



Venger
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 15 Apr 2008
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,519

27 Jun 2015, 2:47 pm

sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.


Not true. I've had a much younger (pretty attractive) woman show interest in me without knowing ANYTHING about me. I've also flirted with much younger women, and some do reciprocate.

Also, on my experimental OkC account, I announced that I primarily was interested in younger women, and I regularly get matches from women in their 20s and 30s that have my age in their preferred age range. These women don't have extreme requirements.


and you have a good job no? I somehow doubt you're a homeless min wage worker.

if some times a pig flies, does that mean all pigs can fly? with anything there are things that happen rarely that doesnt mean it'll happen to everyone. people win the lottery too I hear, but most people don't.


Main difference is he's not in the U.S. obviously. Getting a date is supposedly easier in most other countries, among other things.



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

27 Jun 2015, 2:50 pm

Venger wrote:
sly279 wrote:
rdos wrote:
sly279 wrote:
may have been true in the past but women were attracted to the job/income/objects older men use to have. I know tons of older men and they don't have hot young women crawling all over them, but well they aren't the middle class well off men that women find attractive. they low income working stiffs. I'm not arguing the 50 year old CEOs aren't attractive to women. but if you don't reach that then you're going be way more unattractive then you were when you were 20.


Not true. I've had a much younger (pretty attractive) woman show interest in me without knowing ANYTHING about me. I've also flirted with much younger women, and some do reciprocate.

Also, on my experimental OkC account, I announced that I primarily was interested in younger women, and I regularly get matches from women in their 20s and 30s that have my age in their preferred age range. These women don't have extreme requirements.


and you have a good job no? I somehow doubt you're a homeless min wage worker.

if some times a pig flies, does that mean all pigs can fly? with anything there are things that happen rarely that doesnt mean it'll happen to everyone. people win the lottery too I hear, but most people don't.


Main difference is he's not in the U.S. obviously. Getting a date is supposedly easier in most other countries, among other things.


oh yea, I hear eastern european women are less superficial. but perhaps being a poor nation with little wealth will do that. where as the more wealth and technology access here has ruined us. it brings out further the human greed and self centeredness. shame I am not wealthy enough to travel there to find a gf then bring her back but then you worry about if shes just doing it to get to the us.



androbot01
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 17 Sep 2014
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,746
Location: Kingston, Ontario, Canada

28 Jun 2015, 1:05 am

Gauldoth wrote:
I've said it before and I'll say it again: sex is a market. Women are the sellers, men are the buyers.

If you're a man and you want sex, you're gonna have to trade for it. Whether it's money, status, whatever... you're gonna have to offer the woman something in exchange for her sexual consent, and if you don't have anything to trade, then you won't get sex. It's as simple as that.

I agree with this. Sex is just not as valuable to women as it is to men. If a woman has sex with a man and isn't compensated somehow (commitment, security, a good meal) she's getting ripped off.