Anyone ever turn down free sex?

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Actually I think Sweetleaf is kind of a better person than I used to be and prefers to have sex with people she may actually like or want to spend time with other than doing really dirty things and never seeing them again. I'm not being facetious, I'm serious. She probably is a lot nicer than I used to be.

People are rarely spot on about their attractivness in general and even less so about it to specific groups of people who may like their body type or coloring or other things abotu them that make them their "type". Most folks think too little of their attractiveness but as we all know there are some who think too much of theirs.

I'm saying that because of that, the guy is probably not as bad looking etc as he thinks he is. I know I think I'm much worse looking than people tell me I am and while I really do photograph badly and look much better in person or in a candid shot where I'm not trying to figure out how to "look natural", so I get how people can underestimate themselves.

Also, most people could use some tweaking. Everybody kinda can, even celebrities and they hire people for that. The rest of us regular people, if we want to improve our looks, how we come across or our image etc we have to rely on people we know, YouTube videos, our own best guesses, and a whole lot of DIY stuff. That is waht I did. Even if you can't turn yourself into exactly the gorgeous and popular impossible god/dess you want to be, or whatever your idea of average or above average is that you aren't going to believe you reached even if you did reach it, you will still be somewhat better off than you were in the beginning. A little improvement is better than none, right?

Sex is not a means to an end to me or most girls I know. Sure, it is to a couple of gold digger types I know but that is not most girls. Sex is for it's own sake.

The reason I can have sex with some guy, somewhere, anytime I want to get laid is because I have a vagina and you can pretty much bet that at any moment there are tons of guys out there wanting sex and who don't give a rats ass what the girl looks like or if she's an idiot or what, as long as she has a vagina and lets them do it.

I on the other hand care what is attached to the penis going into me. I would like the rest of the guy to be attractive to me, even if he's not to somebody else, and I don't want him to be just a douchebag immediately to me, although a certain kind of douchebag just makes it a challange and that particular type can seriously bring it between the sheets and it's probably why he's such a douchebag the rest of the time - it's probably his only skill.

So you are mad that while women usually won't have sex with guys they aren't attracted to, men will have sex with women they aren't attracted to? Which group are you mad at and why? Are you mad at us because we can get it even if we are ugly, or at guys for screwing ugly chicks when most girls won't screw ugly dudes? Are you mad because we care more about the rest of the guy than you do, or that maybe ya''ll are just hornier than we are and not as patient to wait and see what you might find before you just jump feet first into the first vagina to wink at you? Should we not be picky because a lot of guys aren't picky or should they be more picky so that ugly girls can't get it whenever they want to?

You do know that most women don't go out looking just to get laid though, right? It's not exactly a common practice among the fairer sex. Why it's not I don't know because I enjoyed the hell out of myself and think that I should be able to do it if guys can, even though it was the early 80s. But it's not something most girls do, so how do you think this should be resolved fairly if there was some judge who was going to fix this?

Also, please explain how "To put it bluntly, if sex was actually valuable to you women, you wouldn't be able to have it literally any time you want" makes sense at all. Are you saying that it's so easy to get we take it for granted so we couldn't possibly value it or enjoy it as much as guys, who have a harder time getting it no pun intended? Or are you saying that we wouldn't be able to bring ourselves to have it whenever we wanted it if we ourselves valued it? What the hell are you saying there, it's not making much sense to me either way. If there is a third way I didn't think of please tell me, or if you just didn't word it great and have a better way, please do that too. It just doesn't mean anything.

You said sex is a means to an end to us women. What do you think that 'end' is for me, personally? You have to think we have something up our garters there and since you can make that assumption about chicks you don't know I'm sure you can make a better one about me, who you have actually interacted with and who has talked candidly to you about sex. So what's my end game here? What do I want out of it, other than to have good sex? I've already told you I don't care about social status and he couldn't give me that anyway so what's me goal? Why am I even bothering to do it, I'd like to know your opinion.

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just mean using him as an example for why highly sexual single men should just be happy is wrong. hes not like us we aren't like him.

that all sounds very confusing and I cant just bring women back to my place, out voted, though I wouldn't much like it if they brought strange people into our place either so I get that.

i get that. I don't want on strings sex either. so I totally get why she would be upset those guys did that. but in this subject getting sex without attachment is a far cry from not being able to get sex at all.

I like sweetleaf, shes nice and we agree on a bunch of things. its hard for me when something like this happens where we don't' agree. last thing I want is to hurt anyone but even more so someone whose nice.

Honestly you wouldn't have to do what I say or agree with me all the time, just for some reason you get on my nerves when I get frustrated with you. I'm not a very patient person. I think it's your complete lack of hope that this could do anything at all that bothers me and makes me say forget it. I get excited thinking maybe I could help a little bit cause everybody can improve some way, right, and then you are all like no, it won't and I kind of feel like I'm trying to cheer up Eyore so he can join Toastmasters or the freakin Optomist Club. I know you think that from experience and it's honestly none of my business anyway and you could be right, I could be wrong and it's only in my head that I'm always right but I just get frustrated with a lack of hope or a lack of any kind of enthusiasm to try something.

I don't mean to be a b***h about it, I honestly am not a b***h most of the time but if I get frustrated I will be.

I feel like a b***h right now.

Jesus, I didn't mean it freakin literally like you should see him and change your mind. Nevermind. It meant nothing like you think I meant it. Really.

I've asked women and besides married friends their response is always that I'm ugly and no one will want to be with ugly.

its super stressful. I'm always trying to comb my hair right or battle pimples. but why. like trying to wax a 90% rusted car. I've lost 26 pounds in the last year. not a lot right. but it was hard to lose it and stop from gaiinng, and some times I did gains o I had to loose it again, but I'm about ready to just give up and gain a bunch of weight. I can't have cookies or many snacks that often. i can't go out to eat, I can't do a lot of things I use to do. so when I feel hopless I've gone off my diet some. I feel like just making a bunch of cookies and eating them all. just seems like nothing I try and do matters.

people here keep talking to me like I'm not doing anything. which makes struggling to do stuff seem pointless. its really not easy for me to not just eat whatever I want whenever, I'm not use to feeling hungry all the time. I use to just eat when I was hungry and eat a lot. some people sy I've lost weight manly just family but its lies because they know I'm trying to so they say that. I'm still the same pants size I was. I' haven't' even lost enough to fit in my 42 size pants again.

really hard to keep trying when nothing you do will ever matter or be good enough. just seems like I should give up, bunch of people tell me that if in my place they would given up. so why not just do it. i hate my hope and stubornness.

no it doesn't seem a little improvement is better then none.

Sit by me then. Most of my friends have usually been pretty bitchy. You'll fit right in.

I'm too hopeful if anything. If i had no hope I'd already killed myself. i certainly wouldn't be putting myself through hell trying to lose weight or find a job just so people can tell me I'm not good enough or not even trying and am just lazy.

you just wanted me to be like oh I was wrong and lying there's no women who say those things. and its that I can't do because there's tons of proof a lot of women do say those things. I don't think ignoring all that would be helpful is all.

i feel hopeless a lot because no matter how much I try no matter how hard I work, how much stress and trama i go through it doesn't ever seem to matter. its like running on a treadmill to escape a fire. you're not getting anwhere and the fire is getting closer and closer.

see that comes across like saying I don't' try things. freak. my uncle doesn't try anything he just went in lives in a homeless camp. and he could have got a good paying job. he didn't bother even looking for work. he lost two high paying jobs because he didn't want to stop doing drugs. he likes being a lazy bum. I've been trying so much.

OK, let me say this about the diet and working out. I've tried to tell you before but you won't listen to me nor talk to the guy I told you about. But, when I was younger I got into bodybuilding and while I didn't have to lose weight, this guy I know, close to 30 and my oldest son's best friend is a hardcore bodybuilder. Huge as swole guy. He had to lose weight when he started years ago. He's a very, very sweet boy and I'm like his surrogette mom he texts to talk to about this new gf and he's recently moved to the city I grew up in and he's from the country so I talk to him a lot. I asked him about you and your workout and diet. He said what I said. You wouldn't believe me at all.

Also, burning the fat while bulking up muscle is possible and you can eat. A good body does WONDERS for whatever is above your neck. This boy has girls all over him. He's about 5-7 and honestly does not have a cute face. He's just not. If he didn't have the body he has, he wouldn't have anybody. He has a wonderful personality but without something to catch the eye, most would never find out about the personality. Thats where the body helps. And I tried to tell you that YouTube videos aren't always the best thing and to talk to this actual guy who has been doing this for years and years and trains people and he can tell you what to do to help you get on the road to looking like him fairly quickly, cause he actually loves to help people with this kind of thing as it's his passion. And you wouldn't and that frustrated me even more.

But for real. You need to work on building and getting swole and that will SO HELP YOU. Arnold Swarzenager isn't very handsome in the face and wasn't when he was young and could barely speak English so he wasn't smooth talking. He had a great body. No you won't get like that, this guy isn't THAT swole but he's pretty swole, he's competition swole but not THAT competition. So it could help. Just like a boob job, a flat belly and a nice ass with long legs in a skirt and high heels will do a hell of a lot for a girl who isn't so pretty. I couldn't get a boob job but I got the next best thing, a great bra. You have to learn to find something and work it. I was trying to help you.

I don't know how I can help if you wont change anything or try anything or even attempt to believe me about something. If you don't change anything then nothing else will change. You are frustrated with it now, why not give something else a try? You can keep weights in the house for now until you are ready to go to a gym or do something. Make that a priority like you would if it were another hobby you like and I think you said you like games, so if you had that many games you would find room, right?

Anyway, I'm going to stop now. My head hurts and I've been talking about how to get laid for hours now. And I honestly think nobody has been laid or will be laid because of this thread either, so it's double frustrating. The only thing that isn't is the hope that maybe Sweetleaf will want to do that experiment and let me help. It would be fun.

I believe you that a lot say that but I also know that it is statistically impossible for every single woman in your area to hold opinions that catagorically rule you out without them ever seeing you at all. That is just not possible unless you are a serial killer or something then it's just not happening. There are even chicks that dig them! So come on now. You may not have met them, but they have to be there. I don't know where they are either so I can't tell you but logic, statistics and common sense tell you and me that there have to be some who are single and who don't believe the way you think they do. Even if a lot do, or you have met a lot who do.

Is it also possible you could be misinterpreting some things? I'm not saying you aren't trying, I'm saying you aren't listening and it's just general frustration with you on my part and I don't know why. It could be my hormones right now. Honestly. I'm just easily pissed off at the moment. Menopause. When your mom goes through it, you'll see what I mean lol. Trust me, you'll move out then lol.

I'm not able to get across what I want to say to you and what i mean in detail to you and that doubly frustrates me because I'm usually pretty good at getting across ideas even if I don't get across mood or tone. I don't know how to explain to you what I want you to understand. I've had those words said to me before too, but nobody knew what I had back then, we didn't know about that. You were just weird in the 70s you weren't autistic or had AS. But, I know your frustration of doing what you think you need to be doing and not getting what you think you should be getting and then feeling like you might as well give up. That is when you try another tactic or ask someone else.

I have to think on it and maybe I can try to explain it better. I might could get what I want to say to you across if I could talk face to face but my computer doesn't have Skype and my daughters bf is using her laptop for his job so no Skype, plus I don't know how to use it. I don't know how to get it across. I really don't, but I know this medium is not working. I'll have to think on it. I do promise I will.

I don't want to be a bodybuilder, nor could I afford it, but if i could and did I could talk to goldfish here, or my friend who also did lot of weightlifting. thats not my goal. its just not who I am. I could do push ups and crunches in my room, i don't . I don't like working out. so combined with my adhd, makes it super hard to do without someone physically coming over every day and getting me to do it.

I'd rather be alone and die then become a bodybuilder. I don't like guys who do it, and I don't want to be a guy who I don't like. that just won't ever happen. I might eventually go to the gyme and lift some(small amount) of weights but its not ever going to be my focus. nor will I start eating a bunch of protein shakes and restructure my diet towards building muscle. I'm poor besides that. my friend use to waste tons of money on protein shakes and all that stuff. I lucky to afford to get the food I can.

its just not who I am or want to be. women here say all the time fat men and ugly men get women. and bodybuilders make up a very small part of the population so I won't believe that's the only way men get gfs.

see there you go again. I do change and have tried to change. I just won't change to things I don't like. I really do not like body builders ie jocks. phsycial working out isn't my thing. its something I hate and despise with a passion. not something easy to do and like I said I have ADHD. well we dont' tend to remember to do things we hate. get distracted by things we like. probably why I spend time on here rather then doing pushup despite that every tuesday, thursday, and Sunday an alarm goes off telling me to do them.
I'm always doing stuff when it goes off or depressed, I would have to move everything off my floor onto my bed to do them so its a huge hassel. and you can't do them right after eating . if I had a friend who did those and actively motivated me to do those with them that would be a nother matter. some people need to hire trainers, thats me but I can't aford to hire one. someone who would get me up and take me to a gym then motivate me through each task. only time I've ever done workouts was with teachers in classes or friends.

is there nothing else but get a fit body? like is that the only solution.
I can't afford the wieghts. they expensive. and we lack space. I barely have enough room in my bedroom. i spend all day laying or sitting in my bed because theres no space for a chair. theres just enough room to put my boots at the end of my bed and a small foot wide walking path. again I dislike working out, so it won't ever be a hobby. hobbies are fun things you like. my sister wanted to go to the gym together. so I've been waiting for her to check it out for free with her friend who is a member there. its planet fitness. though I worry since I don't have the motivation I won't get much done there. I afraid of messing up with the machines. but plain it would involve getting up taking the bus there which takes tiem and is annoying, then going in and doing it. I worry that if I get a job I wont' have time as taking an hour to get there then 4 hours there is 5 hours total and I alreay get busy days. for example if I go to get grocies with family that takes all day. when I work its 10-11 hours then I have all my other stuff. I'm really trying but its all very stress full. really I just want to go walk on a tread mill while I watch youtube. so hopefly they have wifi or so. working on the wieght machines scare me because that means putting my phone and keys down and people steal stuff.

anxiety is a big issue with any of this stuff. I'm too anxious to go out anymore. and staying inside 25/7 confined to my room has only made that anxiety way worse. but no one is willing to go to the gym with me or go on walks with me.

games take up very little space they are just a disc tha is super thin case. I have one wieght I never use it. cost me 10 and its a 10 pound wieght so very small. planet fitniess is only $10 a month. 20 if I want the add ons.

I'm willing to work with you but you have to accept my limitations and be willing to work with me.

I avoid women i find pretty which is just about all of them. i don't know what to say to them and due to the other women feel worthless and not good enough. pickyness seems to be a trait found in pretty women. but I find most women pretty even ones others say ugly, so idk know the difference between a pretty and picky woman and an not attractive woman who might not be picky, to me they look equally pretty.



never said every woman says taht I say most. other women have other reasons to reject me, I'm not liberal. i'm not a country boy, I don't drive a truck, I'm on welfare and not conseritive, I'm to weak or soft, I have emotions, I'm not a real man. etc. seems most women have one reason or another to reject me. oh and not attractive. so its hard to find a woman who wont' care about any of that and finds me attractive and doesn't care about money. thats what I need help with. then its a matter of trying to message them and not mess it up, where being a aspie finally comes in to probably harm me.

so many women here are living here to get college degrees, which likely means they won't want a guy who lacks a degree and wont' be able to make good money. I avoid pretty women , they'll too good for me. probably have the same ideas as the ones who flat out list them. I also avoid the ones with red for replies selectively.

really makes me sad to read a proflie or ad that seems like a good match only to find one of the above .like she'd like me but nope she only wants country boys and I'm a city boy who drives a gas efficient car.

or she wants a "real man" others who may be open aren't a good compitble match. ie they anti gun and extremely liberal. we'll just fight all the time so no point. I need a middle of grounds woman, whos into scifi, videogames, history and likes the outdoors but spends most their time indoors. its trying to find that in a woman who won't rejecte me for any of the things I listed and doesn't have kids.

I have anxiety so I know that that goes into it, but I have no one to show the women to and check with anymore, I'm running off of advice given to me 4 years ago from women friends I had. combinded with what I've seen women do and the ommon link that the women who do that are 1. pretty, 2. thin, 3 replies selectively. I just hide all replies selectively women as I have no chance with any of them. though tthat would als mean seeing the lots of women who do say they only want guys with good jobs.

I have anxiety with calls in skype anyways and would have to wait for family to be gone, they listen in some times so it has me anxious.

if i move out its to be with a gf or alone. no more roommates. though if I moved out now I'd be a complete shut in.

I prefer ims, or other text based conversation.

the job devoluper is going to switch from security to cashiering now, it was a last otpion but its the best and only one now. but that means I'll only make min wage which wouldn't' upset me other then I want a gf and lots of women disaprove of min wage, even to call it not a job. I don't get how women who work min wage can look down on similar guys for it but they do. I don't get men with it have gfs though most I know met their gfs/wifes while in highschool so were able to form a love connection before so the girl sticks with them. eitehr wya makes me feel like s**t. when if i do find a job it should be a happy thing. but it won't be. which will likely just make me hate the job no matter what it is.

I'd like to think if i was lacking of a sex drive and lacking wanting a loving emtional relationship. i'd like be happier. all this constant pressue to be a real man and never being able to do it is depressing me a lot.

i doubt those women would like men telling them they aren't real women.