How to Approach Women

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After a woman gives you eye contact and smiles at you, what are you supposed to do? What are you supposed to say? I have no idea. "Hi! How's it going? Nice weather today! You look good in that outfit! Would you like to go out?"

I seriously do not understand what I'm supposed to do, so I don't do anything at all. Women smile and give eye contact to me all the time, and I just don't know what I'm supposed to do, so I just walk away.

I usually think that it doesn't even mean anything at all when a woman smiles at me with eye contact. But then, people are saying that it means they like me. It makes me very upset, because I just have no idea how to approach them.

Start by telling her some sort of cool-story.

Nope. That is exactly what I should not do.
The meaning of Cool Story Bro is sarcastic, as in... "Wow, that's a lot of stuff you just told us that we don't care about."

253 posts of "cool stories" by me on Wrongplanet that no one cares about.
That's the meaning of my screen name, and I made that my screen name because I knew that no one would care about anything I say.

http://www.gotlines.com/lines/cheesy.php

http://www.pickuplinesgalore.com/

IMO only use pickup lines if you're more attractive than the woman...
If I were a woman on a dating site I would block anyone who uses these prepared lines.
I bet many actual women are annoyed by them. They scream "hi, I can't score with girls so I need to use these robotic phrases, please reject me immediately".

I'm not going to use pick up lines, I'd probably vomit in my mouth from the cheesiness of it.

Okay, listen. Women think I am attractive. I know this because sometimes I get women smiling at me. Other times, I catch them staring at me and I will look at them and they will look away like they just got caught staring at me. This happens in grocery stores and on the street. I am not interested in other places.

With this in mind, how do I approach a woman who is doing this to me? Do I just say hello? Or what? I don't know, because I have not tried in a really long time.

If a woman makes eye contact with you and smiles you make eye contact and smile back, obviously.

Definitely say "hi, how's it going?" but don't ask them to go out right away. I know if a guy just came up and said that to me right away, I would be startled and immediately freaked out. I recommend only asking girls out whom you have been talking to for a while. Also, instead of saying "do you want to go out?" maybe try something like "Have you eaten lunch yet? I'm going to eat in a bit if you wanted to join." Even if she says no, go to lunch anyways. She will most likely go the second time around if she thinks its casual. My advice would be to "build up trust" and a good friendship with a girl before taking that "romantic" step. That is how I would want it done, but of course, I am an Aspie girl, so I need small doses of things anyways so I do not get overwhelmed. But, from what I have seen, it seems to work the same way with NT girls (just a little faster). Also, do not take things personally or seriously. There are plenty of fish in the sea. If one rejects you, move on to the next.

I would say to not approach them at all. These women are not potential mates, only gawkers. Nothing really ever develops with gawkers in public places. At least, not from my experience. Some times I catch people looking at me as well, but I know I will forget their face once I leave and they will just check-out with the cashier and move on to gawking at the next person. I would say to just appreciate the attention as it is a boost to your self-esteem, but try to focus on developing relationships with women who you interact with in your everyday life.

Or maybe they're just acknowledging your presence in a hey-you-are-also-in-the-dairy-aisle-way or on-the-same-street way. Like, that you exist not that they wanna date you.

I would not assume these women are gawking nor that they'd be amenable to being chatted up by you unless you've (1) chatted with them previously and, like, know their name or (2) you've been chatting with them for a bit and you get their name or offer yours.



Unless you've got a convo going, my advice is DON'T. Those women more than likely simply want to buy their milk / get to the office / get on the bus to wherever ... they're not interested in being chatted up by random dudes in public.

But then how would I meat someone if I shouldn't approach them? I don't really get a chance to talk to too many women so there aren't many other options.

I would agree with ^ this ^. I can't speak for every woman, but I don't go to the supermarket/walk down the street hoping to start a relationship with someone. I will smile at someone if we make eye-contact, because it seems natural to me, it wouldn't occur to me that they might think I was checking them out - I'll have to be more careful! Men do tend to strike up conversations with me, and that's ok, as long as they don't attempt to follow me or anything. If you do decide to talk to one of these women, and ask for her phone number or whatever, be sure to back off straight away if she declines. I've had one or two incidences where men have been 'persistent' and it can be quit intimidating, even if that's not their intention.

Why not chat with the women in your social circle, at the activities (sports, game night, out with friends, etc) you participate in?

Or sign yourself up for an activity or two that you'd enjoy and that might provide a venue for meeting new people (friends, dates)?

Internet dating?

Ask your friends (both male and female) to set you up with a single girl they know that you might click with?

There are a million and one options that are more likely to be successful for chatting up women than a grocery store or random street!

I already do that. Obviously.

My friends have helped as much as they could. I don't have a big social circle, and the only girl is already trying to help. I'm still trying to find things I like to do that would involve me meeting other people. Still struggling with that last one. I have online dating profiles but as a guy I don't get a whole lot of responses. So I can't afford to eliminate any particular way to meet women even if it means I have to approach them in everyday situations as imperfect as that may be. I am very careful about trying not to make them feel uncomfortable, if they say no I accept it and let them go about there business.

I don't understand how asking them if they want to join me for lunch is any different than asking them if they want to go out. Also, friendship is not something I know how to initiate either.



I don't interact with any women in my daily life ever. There is the street, and the grocery store. That's all.



I have no social circle. I don't have group activities, and am not interested, therefor I will not enjoy it, and will not meet new people.

Internet dating sucks. I've had better luck in real life by just walking up to a girl and asking for her number when she gave me absolutely no signs of interest (over ten years ago).

I have no friends, and I don't know where to find one.