The paradox of the dating websites

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If you put yourself on a dating website, that will make you look desperate. Desperate people are not attractive. That being said, what's the point of the dating websites?

Everyone who dates is desperate to some extent, otherwise they would be content to be single and wouldn't be dating. Plenty of people who are on dating sites aren't desperate, and plenty of people on dating sites are attractive. They do their job well: provide people with an avenue to meet people that they wouldn't have met otherwise.

People who post a profile on a website are people who are looking for a date/relationship.

There's a subset of people who hate online dating (feel it's desperate or whatever), who are thus unlikely to 1) post a profile or 2) respond to somebody's online dating profile. It's a self-solving problem.

Hence the reason women on there assume almost every guy is "desperate" by default. And then wade through them to find the few who they believe aren't.

This. It really is that simple.

To make money?

They're also an excellent platform for some women to boost their ego looking down on men who can't get dates, treating them like vermin, laughing at them and playing practical jokes on them. Well, you don't even need to be a woman as long as they believe you are one.

The Golddigger equivalent of starting a business at home on the computer.

No more desperate than the other people browsing for matches..on that note, sites like Tinder are trendy so you can shrug it off like it's the cool trend to try.

If you are on match.com, only other users can see your profile so you are equally in the same boat..

But isn't the first thing the few women who join those sites do to make it clear how they're totally not looking for anyone, or at least how sky-high their standards are? If there's a way to be on equal terms, it must involve not looking for a relationship.

One thing is certain: to get something in life, you must not need it. Banks lend you money if you prove you don't need it.

The only money to be made from free dating sites is from ad revenue.

Why is it a bad thing for women to have reasonable standards on dating sites? My not unreasonable requirement is that an adult man live independently and be financially stable (not rich, stable -- which is more about being responsible enough to live within your means than the amount of money you make) and many of my girlfriends have similarly reasonable stNdards.

I don't expect anything from a guy that I don't expect from myself (read: I'm independent and financially stable too).

Dating websites are just another venue to meet people. Going to one is no more a symptom of desperation than going to nightclub, or church, or whatever to meet other singles.

So what? Are you telling me that's not the purpose of the sites?



Who said it was a bad thing for women to have reasonable standards? I'm talking about what people who frequent them usually post here, and desperation. I was answering Nocturnus, who said everyone using those sites is equally liable to be labelled as desperate.

For the record, I don't use them because I don't think I have any business there, pretending I'm dateable.

Check. Met my boyfriend on tinder.
My boyfriend is so hot. He always tell me that I'm way outside of his league but he really has no idea how hot cute, sexy, intelligent he is. He's gorgeous and adorable.

That's just a stereotype.. and while it can prove true in many instances, some people, myself included, work 60 hour graveyard shifts a week and don't go out to bars/clubs. It's also 2015, everyone uses their phone and the internet to communicate more than they do face-to-face and it's easier to meet people you could connect with that way.

Some people have no time to meet a potential date in real life due to reasons such as work or another thing. They go onto dating websites hoping to meet someone when it seems most of the time nothing meaningful comes out of these. I usually come across sad stories concerning dating sites. To each their own I suppose.

And no these people are not desperate. No more "desperate" than the person who has a strong desire to speak to someone or the people who always have their interest on their mind.

I go on dating sites because I'm unable to approach women in public.

plus its nice to know they are single and looking, have chat topics they like displayed along with other compatibility issues all on one page. that woman on the street who as I've been told doesn't' want any guys approaching her anyways, you know nothing about her besides how she looks.

unfortantly dating sites have been taken over buy high standard people who could get dates the old fashion way but use dating sites to be lazy. which ruins it for the people who really need the sties to find relationships.