Why you should care about and improve your appearance.

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I don't wear heels, I rarely ever wear skirts or dresses, I don't paint my nails and I don't wear make up...nor do I follow current fashion or wear particularly 'nice' clothes...if its clean, not falling apart and I like how it looks then I call it good.

I also don't carry a heavy handbag and get my arms sore, plus I'd likely set it down and forget it frequently which would be no good. I much prefer back packs or messenger bags or just having enough pockets to keep everything I need in.

You don't 'have' to do all those things or at least not as much...why not wear a little less make up, stop wearing heels if they hurt and you don't even like them...or at least seek out ones with smaller heels so they aren't as uncomfortable? I guess I cannot understand why some people insist on continuing to torture themselves with those things on a daily basis just in the name of 'well its what other women do'. Maybe this is why I don't end up with a lot of female friends I am rather stubborn about being more true to myself than blending in with them. It was worse in middle and highschool for sure though plenty have matured enough not to see a girl who doesn't blend in as some kind of threat or challenge.

Being yourself doesn't mean refusing to improve on anything, it just means you don't want to pretend to be someone else or put on a false persona when it comes to relationships. The obese chick could improve her hygiene and start working on a healthier lifestyle/losing weight....and still be themselves.

Also why do people always say 'ugly and fat' I see quite a few larger people that certainly are not ugly...and have pleasant facial features...some fatter people wouldn't look good skinny anyways so that shouldn't always be the goal. I just don't think getting thinner is always the end all solution to make one more attractive if they're on the heavier side. You can be heavier and give a sh*t how you act and look.

My boyfriend is rather chubby, he is hoping to lose some pounds over the summer being more active and will lose some of the winter weight(he always gains a little in the winter)...but he's not going to try to become skinny or lose any super significant amount of weight. So I suppose I just think people should keep it realistic, like a woman with a large build who is heavier should certainly take care not to gain too much weight to the point it would cause them health concerns...but expecting them to end up looking like a petite built woman who's skinnier would be quite unrealistic.

I imagine for some overweight people losing weight is nearly as hard as it is for me to gain weight..I also lean towards underweight. My typical weight is between 95 and 100 pounds, if I go below the 95 though then I have to work to gain a little weight because that is too low.

This entire thread, and particularly the starting post, is based on the false premise that I wish to be treated differently by the general population, or to attract women.

Neither is true.

The general population leaves me alone.. I like it that way.

I have suffered way more than enough at the talons of women, I can't think of an inducement or prize which would tempt me back into trying to "play the game". I consider being scruffy a valid and sensible defense thanks!

I so much like backpacks and snickers, you make twice more in the day and you can concentrate on things that matter to you, instead of concentrating on how you should walk so that the high heel finds the middle of the pavement, lol It's self torture, yes.

Some male friends have already gently told me that the backpack and the way a dress in general is all but attractive...
I don't know, they like puppets. And when you dress like a puppet, they salivate like dogs and watch you like you are a piece of cake they are going to eat, not like a person. It's testosterone side effects and I don't much like it.

Only males who are very jealous and possessive like when you dress unattractive. And I don't want to attract such people.

I think it's important to match more or less how the group you are in is dressing or make an effort to be in the average. (work group, school group or other groups) This is for general integration into any group.

And from what I understand losing them tends to be harder.

Well as for when I start working I would hope they'll have a guideline of what to wear for work or provide a work uniform...so I know what to wear for it. I have no issue wearing a specified outfit for something organized like that...

But on my own time I dress for me and just wear what I like, its usually a lot of t-shirts of metal bands I like jeans/pants, cut off shorts, doc marten boots (skateboarding style shoes in the past before I got those though I've never skateboarded but the shoes are comfortable). Sometimes if I just have to go pick something up from a store real quick I'll just wear pajama pants and a t-shirt. I always like my clothes to be clean but don't care much about fashion at least not popular fashion...I think I tend to look good in what I wear and I take care not to wear clashing prints together and like stuff that looks like it matches.

that is an understatement

I hate to be such an ass on this forum, but that statement about carbs is just complete bs.

I also think cheat days are a bad approach for most, you can very very easily undo 6 days of dieting in one day, if you completely disregard caloric intake.

not 100% bs, though you are correct in that I should at least have prefaced that with "In my case." but it worked with other people of my acquaintance who I persuaded to give it a whirl, as well. and it is not ALL carbs, but REFINED carbs. IOW, sugar, flour, and things with those ingredients in them. and not all calories are the same. refined carbs are, beyond a nominal amount, quickly converted via insulin, to stored fat, unless you burn them off quickly. it takes a lot of exercise to do that, more than what most folks can readily do. my weight used to yoyo [between diets] about 50# in total, that was doing a number on my liver [fatty liver] among other things. when I gave up wheat products, rye, oats and barley, corn and most potatoes [I limit myself to sweet potatoes, taro and yams, in small amounts], the yo-yo-ing stopped, this was 3 years ago and my weight has mostly stayed the same since then with no additional effort. and the cheat day is necessary, but within strict limits- still no refined carbs on those days, but I will eat more no-nos such as red/white meat, white/red potatoes, corn [and products containing them]. still no sugary stuff.

Calories are not the same, in terms of satiety, muscle and bone preservation, general health. Calories do however still dictate weight gain and weight loss, simple fact. The insulin hypothesis you are relying on, has already been proven to be completely false and nonsensical. Almost all foods spike insulin, and yes, it will get stored, but we need to keep in mind the body works on a 24 hour basis, and if you're in an energy deficit, your body will use that fat later. Insulin does not determine energy expenditure.

If your diet works I can't tell you that it's wrong, but in my opinion that's just unecessarily restrictive. You will not lose fat faster or get any benefits by being so strict about food selection.

I agree that anyone looking for a partner should look their best. The trouble is different people like different things. For example a guy might attract some girls by becoming muscular but other girls might dislike muscular guys. I cannot predict what type of guy the next girl I encounter will be attracted to.

I think the main goal of improving appearance, whether that be improving style, physique ect. should be to improve your own confidence, which will ultimately be the biggest game changer.

It has the opposite effect on me. The more I work on my appearance, the more I become aware of my faults and start worrying about them, I become paranoid that my progress is too slow, I compare myself with more elite people and naturally always fall short. It hasn't helped my confidence in the slightest, only given me more anxiety.

You look good for a man of 117

I'm 21 and obviously I don't actually look like a Sabreclaw from Heretic, which although undoubtedly not going to win a beauty contest, being one of those would actually be pretty awesome. They're made of metal, are buff, fast, awesome looking.