Love of my life has passed want to find more....need advice

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Hi guys I am an autistic the type where at work I seem basicly normal like 90% normal but Around women even remotely close to my age i get socially ackword.
Im this way for the like first few interactions then im semi ok. Its because I dont pick up on social cues.also its because I asume most women would think im a pansy for having such a sincere big heart and thinking of them as more then a sex object and wanting them to feel if they are with me then there is no reason they shouldn't feel sexy and empowered like they could conqur the world and live out their dreams

Also im the type to feel sad and be crying along with any girl who I see crying. im the guy to go up to an upset girl and try to cheer her up no matter how ackword as long as she knows my intentions are pure. I have made tons of friends thuthis way.

Now I have never met any highly very highly functioning asperger / autistic chicks.im sorry but I rather not be your care taker . I wouldn't mind being with one. the sgame is i always hear that any that are rumored to be are taken.

I want love because I feel could live in a box and be deeply in love and it would all be great. As long as she is happy. I would strive to provide for her with all my heart and soul she would be my magnum opus, my muse, The thing that makes life truely worth it and makes me want to try harder and feel motivated to work hard and stay drug free.

I have been so.down since my non spectrum girl friend and the only I ever had period, has passed away. She died almost a yr ago. She was the one person to give me the kind of confidence to actract the attention of my superiors at work and ve considered.for a raise if not also a promotion. I was in slightly better shape, I was never sad, I was making straight A's and I was striving to literally change the world. But then I got a text from a friend of hers that said she died and I crumbled I was so very upset. that's when getting high was my new hobby and thats all I ate slept and drank was mind ultwring substances and where to get my next fix. It still haunts me today

Then I got clean and I wanted to find love and be revitalized but nope just heartbreak and disappointment. It was just one i night stands and lone dates and the far and few between girls that would make love to me a few times and then dip out. Just never to talk or respond to me again after a few days , weeks but rarely ever even a month.

I would like to know where to find very sincere women near my age. I would say 18- 27 yrs old as I am 21 my self. What sites, apps, services, and such are legit and not to expensive if not free to go to or use to help me out here. Im not looking to rush it or speficly look but put my self in the situation to fall in love or stumble upon the one.

Im hoping for spectrum as im sure there would be an extremely high level of sympathy and empathy for each other. Which would only stregnthen our bond. But thats not a requirement as my one and only girlfriend was considered to be non spectrum and eas ssid to be an all around 8 - 9.5/ 10 ( based on acctractiveness).

I also would like tips to come off as mister sensative and the one that can more then care for her vs. How I feel I come across ie. Immature and nasty/ impolite and slow. I get the basics but beyond the obvious is what im looking for tips on.

Because it's not getting her engaged in conversation its getting her to stay for the long term and to get more then enough interactions to just begin getting physical which is a rarity at best. Its usually 1 or two dates with no expressed negativity then she doesn't talk to me any more and avoids me in person if I happen to see her after the fact.

Cus for me heartbreak just brings you back to the point of wanting to use again and it's hard not to. Anyone have any steps where any advice or anything for me please. I'm I worried I may use again which is the last thing I want

Bump

I would try to avoid using at all costs, even if you can't find a girl right away. It costs lots of money, is extremely detrimental to your health, could get you arrested so that you lose your job, and will make you a most unsuitable partner--because being an addict causes you to want to sell her stuff.

Truthfully, finding the "love of your life" takes lots of patience.

My advice is probably the advice that most people would give you:

Pursue what you love doing in your spare time. Your hobby, or what you enjoy reading and researching.

All that is an important part of your life, and the actual pursuit of your interests will make you a more suitable partner than if you stop pursuing your interests in order to concentrate solely on finding a girlfriend.

So my question then Is are there any plAces or organizations or apps to go to look for autism social activities in relation socialising with singles preferably younger singles or anything related to dating and advice

You should start by going on the website of the Autism Society of whatever part of Tennessee you live in. Then, either emailing them or calling them for recommendations.

Then proceed from there, making use of the advice given by the people of that Autism Society.