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Can't stop feeling empty without a girlfriend

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Marknis
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31 Aug 2016, 4:14 pm

Aspiegrrrl wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.


Is it possible that what you saw as hazing was actually mutual joking/teasing/sarcasm/fun?

Perhaps what you see as jerkiness was perceived by specific girls as a sense of humor (that clearly does not align with yours)?

If the girls were screaming and shouting to get away from abusive men in public, surely someone would have called the police.


I live in a very contradictory culture. You are told to be a "gentleman" but if you are polite, you are called a "fa***t". You are told not to be "rude" but bragging and picking fights are acceptable behavior among the social circles I was forced into. You are told to "be yourself" but if you are non-Christian or a redneck, you are "weird". These girls probably thought the guys hazing them were doing what they were expected to do.



Aspiegrrrl
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01 Sep 2016, 12:44 pm

Marknis wrote:
Aspiegrrrl wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.


Is it possible that what you saw as hazing was actually mutual joking/teasing/sarcasm/fun?

Perhaps what you see as jerkiness was perceived by specific girls as a sense of humor (that clearly does not align with yours)?

If the girls were screaming and shouting to get away from abusive men in public, surely someone would have called the police.


I live in a very contradictory culture. You are told to be a "gentleman" but if you are polite, you are called a "fa***t". You are told not to be "rude" but bragging and picking fights are acceptable behavior among the social circles I was forced into. You are told to "be yourself" but if you are non-Christian or a redneck, you are "weird". These girls probably thought the guys hazing them were doing what they were expected to do.


Neither bragging not picking fights is considered remotely acceptable in the circles I run in. Maybe consider not hanging with those raised by under-socialized wolves?

I'm not into hazing-type flirting, but it's within the realm of the possible that a guy who likes that sort of thing signals it to the girl he's interested in and they mutually haze because they've 1. Consented and 2. Like it.



Marknis
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01 Sep 2016, 10:31 pm

Aspiegrrrl wrote:
Marknis wrote:
Aspiegrrrl wrote:
Marknis wrote:
I still don't understand it and it's odd because I was told I needed to be a gentleman if I wanted a girlfriend. Even when I was told to be myself, it didn't work out. It was always the guys treating the girls poorly who had girlfriends. I remember them physically hazing girls in public spaces but while the girls would scream and shout, they would never try to get away from the jerks.


Is it possible that what you saw as hazing was actually mutual joking/teasing/sarcasm/fun?

Perhaps what you see as jerkiness was perceived by specific girls as a sense of humor (that clearly does not align with yours)?

If the girls were screaming and shouting to get away from abusive men in public, surely someone would have called the police.


I live in a very contradictory culture. You are told to be a "gentleman" but if you are polite, you are called a "fa***t". You are told not to be "rude" but bragging and picking fights are acceptable behavior among the social circles I was forced into. You are told to "be yourself" but if you are non-Christian or a redneck, you are "weird". These girls probably thought the guys hazing them were doing what they were expected to do.


Neither bragging not picking fights is considered remotely acceptable in the circles I run in. Maybe consider not hanging with those raised by under-socialized wolves?

I'm not into hazing-type flirting, but it's within the realm of the possible that a guy who likes that sort of thing signals it to the girl he's interested in and they mutually haze because they've 1. Consented and 2. Like it.


It's not so much I hang out with those people but that they make up the majority of the population of the city I live in so I can't escape them. All the hang outs in the area are set up to keep anyone who isn't a beer guzzling, cigarette snorting, football loving, and self-serving Christian out. I'd have to give up my individuality to fit in.



Marknis
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01 Sep 2016, 10:41 pm

A lot of the women in my area are also brainwashed into thinking you are not a good person unless you are a Christian. Even the ones open to pre-marital sex want their partners to be Christian. Despite being called the Bible Belt, hypocrisy is rampant here.

Even the people who told me to be myself would freak out when I told them I was no longer a Christian. It just boils my blood the amount of mixed messages I get. I want to be myself but others freak out at me.



AngryAngryAngry
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03 Sep 2016, 3:12 am

Check out Blackdragonblog. There is a lot of stuff about relationships, but the main goal is to be successful - work on yourself, you will be happy & confident. Women can detect this, they will be drawn to someone with a strong focus & goals being achieved & to achieve.
The less you want women the more they want you.

Outrider wrote:
I wish people didn't always push the advice on 'working on your own life' and 'working on yourself'.

Some of us simply want to live a life where we instead spend our time living to give and help others, rather than for ourselves.

The advice of 'do things that make you happy' should also apply to this as many of us find happiness in helping others.


Yes, your focus in life does not have to be a skill/thing. Helping others is a valid mission to select, and you will be given full credit in females eyes.



WantToHaveALife
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31 Dec 2016, 6:24 am

ya, i only went on 1 date this year for all of 2016