The reality of getting a gf

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Hi all,

Haven't been posting here for a while. I had couple of dates but they are both two girls who are older than 10 years than me. I am 25 and they are 38. Didn't work out because the age felt me badly as we have completely different energy and outlook. It makes me feel like I am 10 years older than my age and I am not stopping yet. I want to enjoy as a young person traveling around the world meeting deaf communities and experience sustainable communities like cycling in Denmark and Netherlands etc.

I don't have a job, so that might turn women away because they assume my autistic behaviour makes me unemployable. I wondered the world of having two academic degrees with 4th percentile of academic grades which is way above average. Like women reject me like employers does judge my communication and social skills rather than my values, talents, outlooks and intelligence.

I am always wondered of finally getting a girlfriend, like finally getting a job!

I cannot help with the gf but there are some companies that help autistics get employed either by liasing with companies or training for job interviews.

Purely out of curiousity may I ask what your degrees are in?

He's an environmental scientist degree graduate, has been to psychologists for several years, has several friends and is a part of many social groups and sports meetup groups, has travelled countries all over the world, I think he made a humanitarian effort in a poor country, well-dressed, polite, confident, has been trying to overcome his communication issues, and presented multiple speeches and seminars in front of several hundreds of people.

All this and he cannot get a job or girlfriend.

He is a very impressive and successful aspie, it's a darn shame he hasn't been able to snag himself a nice woman.

Because it involves money and I don't have one. That why being unemployed is huge struggle.

I believe a job and getting a girlfriend are usually difficult for an aspie male like myself. Its quite obvious when I don't realise myself I have challenges until when people reflects my behaviour and make a comment on this. It confuses me and I wondered what I did is wrong.

The psychologists always teach me the theories of social and communication skills. Again they kept telling me I will get a job and girlfriend. I think the problem is they are not in same environment as me like where they are present in my situation.

For the dates they said it went good but the problem is huge age gap because energy is huge difference. I wanted someone in my own age where we equally have same energy level. I always wanted to travel with significant other before getting married and settled in.

I don't understand what is wrong being an aspie by people kept saying I am smart, wise, talented, intelligent and happy guy. It seems they speak about it but not making direct actions of accepting it. I think the Gen-Y is being lost and confused of what they say out of their mouths and don't act on it in reality.

The Scope, is a disability organisation from the UK made an article on other day saying that at least 20% of people age between 18 and 34 don't know how to speak and hang out with people who have disabilities. I find this is so true because my peers never made direct actions with me. Hence living in lost generation.

My x is 8 years older... I've dated one girl and I'm 29.
The pressure there is real... Our exespeciations in comparison are so dramatically different enough as it is but the age gap just complicates further... And believe me... I love her... to this day...
We are picky....right....
You just gotta be patient and to surround yourself with people like yourself.
Why I got into rock climbing


Youll find her... somethings just happen, brother.

What is your second degree?

Also if your and enviromentail scientist you could always find a job as a lab tech to start. There are always plenty of akward people in labs.

I have worries about how I will do in the future in regards to jobs and interviews so i understand your concern. I dont want my PhD to be useless

I did Master of Environmental Management, my GPA was 6.0 with my final thesis scored a perfect 7. I am smart, intelligent and wise. I can act like Spock but I am being myself.

I am trying to be patient but I am worried about my mental health stigma where ASD gives me anxiety and depression because of stigma and marginalisation. Thus employers and finding girlfriend equally disadvantaged. I want both of them because it helps my life and health.

I don't know what is going on with current generation. It seems attracting to social perfection rather than balance of those. I am confident in social environment, but I always see people including my own friends aren't so confident as me speaking and hanging out with me.

I believe the Gen-Y and millennials are struggling with technology superficial values and competitive human race issues. Like losing virginity as early as much to peer pressure like a competition. No one understands this. My psychologists explained this to me. They said I am not the problem, its them.

Here's the reality of having a gf. When you have one you'll still be jelous of guys who have a prettier gf than you.

I can see why.

There's one thing I've noticed about love and dating - that people tend to fall into patterns, for better or worse.

This is why you may end up seeing decent women date ar5eh•le after ar5h•le and such.

The pattern I fell into last year was girl's with a 'messed-up' life.

I had 4 major crushes last year and two girlfriends. Of these 6, 4 fell into one or both of the two categories: traumatic background and past, mentally messed-up in the head.

Hopefully this pattern has ended.

I wouldn't be too worried if I were you, surely the pattern will break sometime sooner or later.

Sometimes the 'pattern' depends on things about yourself, e.g. naive women keep getting used, toxic people fall into toxic relationships, etc. other times it's just random and out-of-your-control.

As I've said multiple times, I relate.

I'm friends now with a girl I met in high school. We both crushed on each other back then. Sometimes my feelings come back.

I have Oneitis for her because I don't meet or speak to any girl's my age anymore, and because even back in high school every crush or girlfriend I had after her couldn't hold a candle.

Why couldn't we have ended up together? She could have dated me, moved in, and she'd be here with me now and we'd be in love. A loving girlfriend is all I really want and I'd be set for life. Anything else is just icing on the cake, personally.

The only reason we never dated was because of something we both couldn't control.

I can't stop obsessing over the theory of infinite alternate universes, and that for every crappy, negative thing that happens to me, there's at least one alt-universe where everything optimistically went right.

In the most positive universe, she'd be here with me and be my fiance by now.

Yeah, this is getting 'creepy'.