Anyone relate to this kind of desire?

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I already posted a link to this in the writing section, but am also mentioning it here, as the whole purpose of this writing exercise was to see if I can find others who have struggled with finding the same kind of relationship.

This story is a depiction of the type of romantic relationship I would like to have. To create the girl character, I "stitched together" things I liked in various girls I've had crushes on, as well as adding some things that I haven't found in anyone yet.
https://www.fictionpress.com/s/3298978/ ... w-Universe

I'd like to know if there are others (male or female) who have looked for something similar, and if they have any tips from experience on how to be more successful. Of course, if a woman reads it, feels she is looking for the same thing, and wants to contact me I'd love to get to know her, but I don't know how likely that is. Much more likely, it seems, is finding people who make me feel less alone in wanting something like this. There are very few romantic stories I've read that resonate with me, that's why I decided to write my own.

I find there are many intelligent and thoughtful people who would find the dialogue interesting and worth pondering.

So far it doesn't seem like there are many...

It's a little disturbing that the "girl" in your story is just out of high school (so just turned 18?) and you are 31. If I were to have written a story like this constantly talking about the 18 year old "boy" I was attracted to (as a 37 year old woman), and consistently referred to him as a boy rather than a man, can you see how that would be a little skeevy and potentially inappropriate? I mean, you almost exclusively call her a "girl" rather than a woman throughout the story (I could have missed it, but I don't think you call her a woman once in this story. Please correct me if I'm wrong--and I hope I'm wrong.)

It's off-putting and a little worrisome. I understand you are attracted to innocence--but it's inappropriate to look for that in people so much younger than yourself. There is a power differential between a 31 year old man and an 18 year old teenager just out of high school. If you are an adult but feel young and innocent, surely you can find adult women closer to your age who feel the same way? They are out there, just as you are out there. Anyway, I think concentrating on girls much younger than yourself is dangerous territory and could easily be seen as predatory, and I don't think you want that.

Wow I agree with wilburforce. It's gonna rain fire or something.

I didn't start calling myself a woman until late twenties early thirties, so I think "girl" might be OK here. Anyhow, I think your story is unique and beautiful. The innocence theme is fun to read, and other themes are interesting, like the artist and the scientist discovering each other. I like how they learn about each other's differences without judgment and realize that actually, their world views aren't quite so different after all. The idea of two loners finding each other is awesome also.

About age, I think that in general, age is just a number, but life experiences are important though. I put the guy around 25 starting the Ph.D., but yeah, maybe make the girl a little older than 18, like 19-21, so she at least has the experience of college in common with him. Unless of course you want to explore what a sort of mentor relationship would be like, or get into her head and see how she might be a little intimidated by his intelligence, education, experience, and age combined. Also, maybe make her mature physically around 14, that way readers don't get that feeling of ooh she's too close to that childhood, growing-up stage.

I'm not sure that two adults going to a playground is realistic, but definitely an amusement park or a natural setting, or a backyard swing works too. Oh, and when she says, "That tickles!" make him touch her inner thigh or her stomach. Otherwise, if he touches her for real, I think she'd have to have a different reaction, like a shiver or a flirtatious comment. "That tickles," could be a flirtatious joke in that context.

I like their openness and feeling of safety to be able to just play around, in the bedroom and otherwise, with no other concerns. Moments like that are usually fleeting I think.

Her comment about mindfulness is spot on. Have you ever tried it? I also wonder about his feeling of detachment or unreality. In that sense, she can show him the way, at least in part. However, I think he'd have trouble going where she needs to go, physically and emotionally, as time passes. That could create an interesting conflict/challenge for the couple to overcome.

As for finding real relationships with these elements, I think a lot of it has to do with safety and having a sense of humor. I definitely think that watching animals, being in nature, and just joking around can create these sorts of playful moments. You might find a kindred spirit in a group of artists or creatives.

Sorry if I've said too much. It's just that I found your story thought-provoking and a bit erotic, in a teasing, use-your-imagination sort of way.

It sort of reminds me of the Manic Pixie trope:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Manic_Pixie_Dream_Girl

Yeah, a little. The story is like Biostructure's own unique twist on the concept.

I don't believe there's that much of a "power gap" between a 30's Aspie and an NT 18-year-old. And a relationship would have been 100% legal in all states in the United States.

When I was in my 30's, my maturity level was probably around late high school/early college. I would have gotten along very well with an NT college student. I would have had more life-experience---but I would have used it to help her with her struggles. She would have had a maturity level, in general, which was slightly higher than mine---so she would have helped me there.

It just so happens, though, that I liked women my age or above at that time.

Even today, at age 56, I don't believe I would be able to "take advantage" of somebody in their 20's, even if I wanted to (which I don't). Depending on the girl, she would still have been able to run rings around me, though I'm better at handling it than I was when I was in my 30's.

Last edited by kraftiekortie on 04 Jan 2017, 2:43 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I'm glad you liked it!



The whole point was to have both characters be near that "childhood, growing-up stage". Specifically, to have highly developed talents in some area that put them in some way exceptional even for adults, but to romantically and sexually have needs more like middle schoolers, rather than the more serious relationships that most people have in college or even grad school. I do understand there is maybe a bit of "hypocrisy" there in that, if he's in his early 30s and still there, why couldn't she be too? But, I have yet to meet a 30-something woman who is.

I guess I should have made the girl a little older, so that she already was in the art college, maybe close to getting her degree (but still having the social-sexual experience and emotional outlook like a typical middle schooler). But I kind of tried to put her actual age halfway between her social-emotional age and intellectual (as in artistic) age. This very uneven development is what I'm struggling to try and find in a partner--I often feel like the only one with that kind of gap.



Why is going to a playground unrealistic? I've seen quite some adults on sites like OKCupid talking about how they like to go to parks after the kids have left and swing or otherwise play.



My whole point was to illustrate how their sexual responses are in some kind of gray area between child and adult. In other words, in that there is at least as strong of a curiosity component as there is a need to "get off". That's also why I have them describe things in rather childlike terms--I'm not implying that they don't know actual words for things, but rather that they didn't get to play "you show me yours" games in childhood, and that they are kind of seeing things through those eyes as they're making up for lost time, so to speak.



I have, but as with the guy in the story, my mind finds it actually really unstable. It's too "manic" in a way.



How do you think he'd have trouble going where she needs to go? I see his role as inspiring her with looking at things from a bird's eye view and showing her how things work in a kind of big-picture, conceptual way, and her kind of grounding him in actual presence while herself being "in her head" enough that she actually wants to understand his abstractions. In that way she is qualitatively unlike the "new age" people I meet, who seem ALL about bodily presence in the moment, and who actively disapprove of theory and science.

Effectively, she's kind of on the edge of autism, but just enough toward NT that she somewhat escapes the sense of "detached unreality" (though I'm not sure all aspies feel that unreality like I do). One of the girls I knew like that had psychotic tendencies, and I've wondered if risk of hallucination is actually part of the "dark side" of being in-your-head yet also capable of feeling the richness of sensation and experience. Effectively, maybe that kind of mind has the ability to "make" realness out of thin air. Though that's going off topic.



That's exactly how it was meant to be--playful and teasing rather than hot and steamy.

I posted this story on another forum and someone said the same thing. I do feel that what I'm looking for is a bit like that, although I've never actually related to a MPDG movie. I think because the MPDGs in movies are kind of crazy for the sake of being crazy. In other words, it's not because they actually have curiosity that others don't have, it's just that they need randomness to feel like they are living. They also seem considerably more "streetwise" and "hip" than the sheltered-but-creative girl I'm portraying in the story. They often seem like they came from a dysfunctional family or something like that.

So tired of the trope of men who can't handle women their own age and need to target younger women with less life experience.

You are (perhaps unintentionally) broadcasting that you are an ephebophile. It's not healthy. Maybe you should talk to a therapist about these urges for sexual relationships with "innocent" people who are not sexually mature. If you don't mean to come across as a predator, you might want to work on these urges with a professional until you can handle the idea of relationships and sex with your adult peers rather than teenagers. You are not a teenager anymore, and seeking relationships with teenagers is going to get you in trouble (and it will only get worse the older you get, if you can't start aiming to attract women closer to your own age group.) Are you still going to be looking for a girl fresh out of high school when you are a 40 year old man, if you don't find one before? How about 50? You see how this can become a serious problem? I hope you see why this is a problem.

Ugh, how tedious. Just summarize what your desires are instead of making people read through pointless drivel.

What the f**k did I just read.

So I am not crazy for finding this off-putting and kind of disturbing? I thought I might be over-reacting, but it does strike me as inappropriate that he insists on only referring to her as a girl, and that she must be much younger than him. It feels creepy, but I don't want to unfairly apply that label because I know it can be a sensitive issue for guys.

I don't think this man is out to exploit young girls, honestly.

Perhaps he could obtain "innocence," though, through somebody more his own age.