My views on couples have been tarnished

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W91T
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12 Apr 2017, 7:29 pm

Hi. I have seen a few couples who has showed affection towards each other, while standing almost right in front of me, and staring directly at me with a smirk. As a result, my feelings tell me that couples only kiss in order to show off. I know well that couples show public affection because they genuinely want to express their feelings, but I can't help but feeling annoyed. I'm also wondering if it is because I feel jealous. How do I get rid of these feelings?

JohnnyLurg
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12 Apr 2017, 9:48 pm

W91T wrote:

I have hated PDA for many years as well. I have often felt paranoid that couples only start holding hands once they see me in order to make me feel jealous. Someone once told me that the most boastful couples tend to be the first ones to break up, but I don't know if there's any truth to that. The way I get rid of those feelings is to say "f**k 'em" because anyone who goes out of their way to make you feel bad is an insecure loser and isn't worth your time or stress.

Sweetleaf
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12 Apr 2017, 9:53 pm

W91T wrote:

Are you certain these are smirks directed at you...or is it they are happy to show affection to each other and you happen to see it and be at eye level to where it can be in your direction. I just have a hard time believing that tons of couples go out just to kiss in front of people who look single to make them jealous.

So my question is are you certain you are not looking to much into these smirks, and taking them as being directed at you when that is not the case. I just cannot picture couples regularly trying to be intimite in front of someone they know is single just to piss them off.

I mean maybe I hold my boyfriends hand, or kiss him in public...that is because I love him, and we share intamacy...never does it enter into my head 'oh that person looks singe, better make a huge display of affection'. I mean really if people get jealous of us showing affection....thats not my problem.

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Wolfram87
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13 Apr 2017, 2:10 am

I don't think that's malicious. I think it's meant to convey "how lucky am I, eh?"

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Sweetleaf
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13 Apr 2017, 2:14 am

Wolfram87 wrote:

I don't think that's malicious. I think it's meant to convey "how lucky am I, eh?"

Eww though why would you do that in front of someone for that reason? Like I just cannot imagine showing affection to my boyfriend just to make people jealous or be like 'hey look what you're missing' its always because I love him and just could give a crap less what the public thinks if I hold his hand or give him a kiss. Like what, I like him and I will express that I mean yeah I'm not going to eat his face or basically have sex with clothes on in front of people....but I will hold his hand and kiss him and hug him in public if I feel like it as I am certainly not ashamed. And can't help it if I get a moment of affection if I am out with him in public.

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Wolfram87
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13 Apr 2017, 2:22 am

I may be misreading things, but I don't think they're doing PDAs because you're looking at them. I think they notice you looking at them whilst in the middle of a PDA, hence the smirk/smile.

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W91T
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13 Apr 2017, 3:20 am

Sorry for the misunderstanding. The ones I mentioned at the beginning were girls who didn't like me talking to their crush/boyfriend. They used to bully me. They didn't always show affection in front of because I looked at them, but I would also catch them staring at me.

Because of those people, my feelings are telling me that all couples do it in order to hurt me, even if I know well that they don't. I know that I shouldn't care about the couples I mentioned at first, but I'm not able to get rid of these feelings.

Aspie1
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13 Apr 2017, 7:22 am

My views on couples have been tarnished, albeit for a different reason. I know couples who turn their relationships into a dog and pony show whenever they're with another couple. (I talked about it at length in this thread: viewtopic.php?f=6&t=332592&start=15.) I know they don't do it to irritate me; they do it to show off to each other, in a manner comparable to weed smokers, saying: "Yah, man, smoke dat joint, man, it's gonna enlighten you' mind, I smoked it and I feel mo' enlightened already!"

Being around them can be very irritating at times, because they get so absorbed into putting on a dog and pony show to other, that they forget or blithely ignore that they have a single person in their group. Any attempts to change the topic to something else, like President Rump or the 2017 Cubs season, falls on deaf ears. It's gotten a little bit better in the recent years, but I still feel like I'm visiting my grandparents in a retirement community, rather than hanging out with people my age.

W91T
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13 Apr 2017, 5:23 pm

Aspie1 wrote:

Isn't there anything you can do to avoid meetings without your friends boyfriends/girlfriends?

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Apr 2017, 2:26 am

If they smirk at you then be like "can I join?".

I bet then they would never smirk at you again.

Aspie1
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14 Apr 2017, 6:34 am

W91T wrote:

Isn't there anything you can do to avoid meetings without your friends boyfriends/girlfriends?

Nope! They're together pretty much 24/7/365. They've gone out separately maybe once in over a year, and never with me. In the past, when I tried to arrange guys' nights out, I got platitudes like: "Doings things separately is not what a relationship is about." So I pretty much threw in the towel, and on the plus side, learned to get along with the girlfriends.

W91T
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14 Apr 2017, 6:40 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If they smirk at you then be like "can I join?".

I bet then they would never smirk at you again.

Haha, how would I have been able to show that?

Aspie1 wrote:

W91T wrote:

Isn't there anything you can do to avoid meetings without your friends boyfriends/girlfriends?

That's too bad, it must be very frustrating

The_Face_of_Boo
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14 Apr 2017, 11:15 am

W91T wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If they smirk at you then be like "can I join?".

I bet then they would never smirk at you again.

Haha, how would I have been able to show that?

You can say it while doing something like this:

W91T
Toucan
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14 Apr 2017, 12:17 pm

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

W91T wrote:

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:

If they smirk at you then be like "can I join?".

I bet then they would never smirk at you again.

Haha, how would I have been able to show that?

You can say it while doing something like this:

creepycrawler
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14 Apr 2017, 6:43 pm

W91T wrote:

Sounds like territoriality to me. Some people are just really insecure about their relationship status, and perceive anyone of the appropriate gender as a threat. My best friend gets this a lot - not the make-out smirks, that really seems odd, but other women turning mean if she acts friendly towards their boyfriend.

Not much you can do about it, unfortunately; it's biology. Maybe secure long-term couples would be less disgusting to be around though. They usually are at the point where they don't feel the need to mash faces every five minutes in public and are better at recognizing when someone's just being friendly and not a threat.

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W91T
Toucan
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16 Apr 2017, 2:56 am

creepycrawler wrote:

Good to know that I'm not the only one at least

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