Would You Date Someone Who Waits Till Marriage For Sex?
I think for my first relationship that i'm in, I would be willing to wait 3-4 months before having sex. The reason is that i'm a virgin so I have yet to experience being intimate with someone else so it would be far easier to abstain from sex. It's like how it's easy to resist the urge to smoke when you've never rolled a joint before but as soon as you enjoy your first cigarette, you want to do it more and more. Also like how it's easy to resist the urge to masturbate when you've never touched yourself before. But once you start to fap, there's no going back.
So once my dick learns what pusssy feels like, and I begin to enjoy being physically intimate with somebody, it'll be tough to date a girl and not have sex for 3-4 months. I will crave and desire sex, it'll be my new drug.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
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Well I am already in a long term relationship, so kind of irrelevant I suppose. But yeah the idea of waiting till marriage was unappealing to me before getting into this relationship. I mean if me and my boyfriend were doing that...lol it's been almost two years of being together so that would mean we'd have spent two years having no sex, I think that would have driven us both insane.
And I suppose I don't see how you can be sure you want to take the step of marriage with someone, if you haven't gotten fully intimate with them.
_________________
We won't go back.
Impulse control is a big deal to me, someone who waits for marriage has mastered a vice that claims lots of people. They see the bigger picture of life, which IMO, makes them ideal for me.
One of my friends is 30 years old and is voluntarily celibate until marriage, I think that is one of the most impressive things about him and he's a fairly good looking (christian) male, with a house and well paying job. I like to model myself after him as the amount of impulse control he must of exercised is incredible, as he has had many opportunities.
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,477
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
One of my friends is 30 years old and is voluntarily celibate until marriage, I think that is one of the most impressive things about him and he's a fairly good looking (christian) male, with a house and well paying job. I like to model myself after him as the amount of impulse control he must of exercised is incredible, as he has had many opportunities.
But does he do that because that is what he wants or because he fears not waiting would be some kind of terrible sin?
_________________
We won't go back.
One of my friends is 30 years old and is voluntarily celibate until marriage, I think that is one of the most impressive things about him and he's a fairly good looking (christian) male, with a house and well paying job. I like to model myself after him as the amount of impulse control he must of exercised is incredible, as he has had many opportunities.
Impulse control and self-discipline can be good things. If you lack those, then you have a hard time getting work done and resisting urges so you're more susceptible to addiction. That's why people with ADHD are more prone to addiction because people with ADHD often have poor impulse control.
MissxVenomxPoison
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Joined: 14 Jun 2017
Age: 32
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Posts: 31
Location: Coquitlam,BC,Canada
As an almost 26 year old virgin (though I'd given a couple blowjobs), I would have to say though I'd wait maybe a month or two, no chance in hell would I wait until marriage to have sex. I waited my whole life to get naked with someone other than oral sex, no way I am waiting til I'm married only to find out that person and I aren't compatible. No way I'm dying a virgin.
AngelRho
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Joined: 4 Jan 2008
Age: 45
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You just do it. Don't worry about sounding like a creep.
See, sex really only enters the conversation if you know someone well enough that you're both up for intimacy. It all depends. Sometimes one date is enough. Sometimes 3 years is NOT long enough. The question is, do you trust her AND does she trust you? The topic is marriage, so intimacy is expected. If you're waiting for marriage, you both have known each other for a long time before dating, seriously dating at least 3 months, and you've talked about getting married but not yet engaged, it's time to bring up the topic of sex and what you both expect after marriage. You WON'T be a creep because she trusts you by this point.
If you don't get sayisfying answers on the sex and intimacy question, dump her. If you're not on the same page on sex, you're incompatible and will be miserable together married.
I used to know this girl who met her husband online. Dude waffled on sex and marriage. Eventually he caved to pressure from her to get married and live in the same state. But then he had this total revulsion to sex. Total dealbreaker, but she stayed with him anyway for several unhappy years. I have no idea if they're still together. The lesson is make sure you have this discussion before marriage and be honest with yourself about any signs your partner is being dishonest. With this couple, she stayed in constant denial before marriage because she was in looooooooooove. She knew he had some issues. She knew they'd had fights before he put a ring on it. She knew it had taken him a long time to propose. She knew he only did it because she pressured him. She looooooved him. So getting married would change him and change everything. She couldn't be honest with herself and ended up stuck in an unhappy marriage.
Don't do it. If this is someone you know well enough to marry, discuss it. If it creeps her out, you're incompatible. If it creeps her out, you're not even good friends. If you can't even be good friends, why think you could be good marriage partners?
I depends on what you mean by sex. I dated a girl for a while who would do everything except actual intercourse, because she said she was saving that for marriage. To many people, this would qualify as "waiting for marriage" but in fact, I could have continued that way for quite some time (assuming I had married her) without feeling really frustrated. She and I certainly had some very satisfying sessions in bed. Of course, it also depends on how long you wait until getting married. My wife and I got married 14 months after we met, but nowadays people seem to wait much longer (last Summer we attended a wedding of a 31-year-old couple who had been together since they were both 18).
On the other hand, my wife lost all interest in sex when she was nursing, and she nursed our second child for a year. So I went a long time without sex (while being married) and somehow survived.
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