Dropping the A-bomb: Experiences?

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How have you let your current or past NT partners/prospective partners know you were on the spectrum?

Or, if you're an NT, how have Aspies broached the subject with you?

Horror stories and great victories welcome.

Much obliged.

Spock.

Seems the responsible thing to do.

I had a strong suspicion my ex was an aspie, and also that I am an aspie. So one time I just said that if I piss him off he has to tell me straight up otherwise I probably won't notice if I've done anything to upset him, because I think I have AS and these things are lost on me. He said he has AS too.

Clearly among the best decisions I ever made.

Only in games

I heard Cheney liked those.

Rise of Nations one of the best strategy games ever made.

As soon as i feel things are getting serious, i disclose myself.
Of the last people i dated with, one i disclosed to near the end of the first date since i felt that she was also on the spectrum (i was correct).
An other person i dated, the first date went very well, so i also disclosed near the end of the date, since my sensory issues were about to be an issue at that point.

Thus far, i have only gotten positive responses; they were all flattered that i trusted them enough to disclose such a secret, and i managed to dispell some stereotypes they had, since i waited untill the end of the first date, where they had enough experience with me in the flesh to know that any ideas they had were wrong

imo, i cannot stress enough how important i think it is to be upfront about being on the spectrum if we're talking of an NT being the other side of the equation.

my other half only told me in the beginning because we started out as friends. to be clear, he would not have told me had we started out dating instead of just friendship. it would have been a huge disservice and mistake, had he had his way.

course forewarned is forearmed, so i'm right and he's wrong as per...snot his fault....the man is a stinky-fool and i do my utmost to tell him that everyday

for an NT, knowing what they are dealing with allows them to make an informed decision re being friends (or more) or not.
for me personally, i had zero exposure to anything to do with ASD and my friends were none the wiser either. once i knew what he had, i read, and read, and read. offsetting what i was learning, with the patterns of behaviour he was displaying.
example...in his comms he was distant, near "cold" and reserved (secretive as all hell!)...in anyone else (another NT) i'd have thought less than charitable thoughts about said behaviour and kicked em to the curb.
with His Majesty, i let it happen. i stepped back. gave him space. this not only allowed ME time to get used to his quirks but gave HIM time to get used to having me around. with time he started to relax and the "real" smelly-P.I.T.A started to shine thru.

we would NOT be where we are today had it not been for me knowing what he had. fact.

i took time to learn what to expect. i took time to learn "his brand of ASD". i let him "be". he would have gotten none of those considerations if he hadn't told me.

course, one could say, it will put people off...don't tell...it will chase em away etc. my view is, better to chase away the time-wasters than to invest, be hurt, and join the NT-hate bandwagon i see here, later down the line. there's no guarantee that even if you do tell they will stick around cos, i can tell you with utmost sincerity, it's hard work being with someone on the spectrum, but, that's the risk you/we/I take.

least the other person will not be able to accuse you of being insincere by withholding.

lastly. you don't have a disease. you just think differently to me. i appreciate that you think it's an "A-Bomb" but if you try and think of the other person too, it will help you more. imo. yes, you have something to share but, the other party has the right to be "prepared" and you would deny them that by waiting to disclose.

This goes for everybody in the world.

In my experience, it went well with my soon to be wife. But i think it could have gone differently too. To be honest, if I was holding onto my diagnosis as a crutch to lean on when I make mistakes, my fiance would have left me long ago. I can recall the women I dated before her would break things off if I leaned on my crutch if I didn't want to take responsibility for my actions (or words).

none,but if i ever found someone new,i'd keep it hidden from her,because i'm better off single & sexually stimming other than being physically intimate with someone who may not love me for who i am regardless of my aspergers involving the traits that she'll be frustrated with if she ever found out & she'll want nothing to do with me if she did

God saves us if you ever have an A-bomb....

Say it in the same way you're comfortable within yourself.

egg-zakterly!

A little mantra of mine:

"You can borrow some of my autism if you need."