Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

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I am willing to bet my custom built acoustic, that in all of these relationships you described, the men earn more than their partner, and of course they get no complaints then..

The common theme in all of what is deemed romantic in our society, is male sacrifice. The man has to sacrifice his possesions, time, money and sometimes his life, and it's simply what us men are supposed to do, without being allowed to ask any questions.

The sad thing is when it doesn't even work. I have had friends who sacrificed far more than I ever did, and their girls ended up cheating on the anyways... So much for romance.

You talk as though all women only want to take and won't give anything in return.

Well, that's been my experience, and what I see in my friends relationships aswell.

That's a real shame. People can suck sometimes. I'm not going to deny that there are selfish women out there, that would be silly, but I do know some happy people, I also know some unhappy relationship people. I can understand why it is hard to trust. It's not like I'm so obsessed with a relationship that I haven't been discerning. I really really like that guy I met this year, but I was careful, I learned about him and realised that we are not compatible. I'm not bitter about it, we just move on and keep going.

The friend that loves the instagram account is earning more than her husband. He's trying to start his own business and it's a bit slow at the moment. She's the main breadwinner. It wprks for them. I spent some time with them last week and they were quite chipper.


Wait, back it up. You custom built and acoustic guitar?? From scratch or customised an existing guitar?

I'm sorry for your bad experiences, but you can't make sweeping generalizations based only on that. Of course there's plenty of women like that, but there's plenty of men like that too. You and your friends have been dealing with the wrong women.

Yeah. Where does the assumption come from that relationships are usually like that?

My parents were constantly at each other. Most other couples I saw were not. My SO and I RARELY argue. We just simply won't do it.

I very much agree. There is no such thing as "unconditional love". The only beings capable of "unconditional love" are dogs and babies. But good luck promoting that truth on here. Disney, Inc. is laughing all the way to the bank.

Wrong. There is such thing as unconditional love. I know that for sure.

Disney doesn't promote unconditional love. All the relationships are pretty shallow. Who wants that? Disney isn't a good example of a nice dream. Its all fluffy girls and princes who often lie or don't do much of anything interesting. Yuck.

I'm gonna have to back out of my bet then..
No, I payed someone to, I don't know how to build guitars, only how to play them.

BTW none of us are denying that you guys have had some bad experiences in the past. We're not ignoring your stories. We hear you. You're not shouting into the wind.

We're just trying to be positive and look for the good rather than dwelling too much on things that have gone wrong or could go wrong.

That book I've been reading is about someone who got into a permanent relationship in her early 40s and she says after all the years of being told how difficult and how much hard work it would be she was surprised by how her husband (then boyfriend) slipped into a routine with each other. There wasn't too much compromise. She's heard similar things from others their age.

Again I'm too lazy to get up and go find the book to quote.

That's just the way it is. I'm not trying to justify it, but we can't change it so we'll just have to live with it.

I didn't get much attention from girls until I starved myself thin, quit my easy job and got a more stressful but higher paying job.

Exactly!

I absolutely agree with the sacrifice bit. It's just a question of how far you're willing to go.

And no, I never try to make a point of justifying it. All I can do is observe and draw conclusions. People will judge their own self-worth based on the positive attention they get from others.

Culturally the onus has always been on the men to be the givers, but it's no different for women.

Anyway, as far as you're willing to go... If you value the person you want more than anything else, is it still a sacrifice? I've given up a lot of things over time that, honestly, I never noticed or really missed that much. I like what I have better, so it's like I never lost anything.

Of all the reasons I would choose to be single, this is actually the biggest reason.

I don't always like the fact s the man has to 'provide' for the woman.

My definition of 'provide' is different than societies it seems.

To have a girlfriend I need to 'have things to offer', a job, a car I can drive her around in, a clean apartment or house for her to share with me etc.

I'm on a disability payment and according to the government can only work or study 0-8hrs a week.

The work thing is true, I used to volunteer and could only handle about 10hrs max but that was really pushing myself and i would take painkillers to relax, 8hrs is approx. My comfortanle limit.

But i was so pissed when i found out i cantstudy either.

Studying is significantly easier and different than working a full time job.

I'm not saying full time university is easy, but getting kicked out of uni vs losing your job are two very different pressures.

I did just fine in high school, because high school and uni are easymode compared to a 10hr a day job

I just wsh I could get a girlfriend with the same standards as.my own, maybe another girl with mental health problems still living with her parents as a young adult and on a disability payment but even they are hypergamous and can and will choose the guy with more 'to offer'.

What i have to offer is though my income is low i am a good saver, I always offer to pay for dates but frustratingly they always want to split the bill. Thanks Feminism! Im friendly, passionate confident funny. I do have anxiety that when it affects.me.males.me uncomfortable and easily startled but I am still a confident and carefree person when I feel good. Despite my anxiety I am also a slightly aggressive person so I am capable of using this aggression to hide my weaknesses and successfully defend myself so if she requires a 'protector' I'm capable of doing that though I'm not a violent person, I just use assertiveness first then aggressiveness to get people to leave me alone and try to defuse the situation if they want to fight.

Anyway.I'm average looking but well dressed groomed and on-my-way to fit as well as a clean, comfortable living space and warm caring parents.

Im trying to always improve looks, personality, mental health through therapy, anti anxiety pills, and soon want to start volunteering again.

But all this means nothing, even young women always want more it seems.

I want nothing more out of a girl than i am myself

Only reason i might go for a woman with a job is because it increases my chances, if I only go for unemployed girls who live with their parents the.older you get the smaller percentage of women that is.

Its.not so much.me going 'out of.my league' its that I have no choice.

I'd never want to make such big sacrifices even if I did have a job.

I've noticed it too, i understand compromise and sacrifice are.normal in a relationship, but people sacrifice their entire life, every hope and dream, everything they ever wanted, for their wife and kids.

I don't have much of a life or big dreams anyway, and so not as much to lose, but the idea of that still scares me.

My sacrifice would be less so losing things, like the opportunity for that dream job or physical fitness or my personal pre-marriage money, etc.

But more so me having to go too far out of my comfort zone and make myself feel like a nervous wreck all the time by getting a job, driving a car around, and getting harassed by constant messages and calls from large amounts of faceless, soulless companies wanting me to be their customer, being constantly reminded of bills, bills, bills.

Gah! Im so grateful for my actual life.

Unless the void is from not having another person in your life.
My reason for being unhappy is entirely from being alone and not having love and a gf.
I'm quite contempt with my life, which is ironically a big reason why women won't date me.