Board index › Coping in life › Love and Dating

Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

Page 26 of 27 [ 422 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1 ... 23, 24, 25, 26, 27  Next

Previous topic | Next topic

The_Face_of_Boo
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 16 Jun 2010
Age: 41
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 32,897
Location: Beirut, Lebanon.

02 Nov 2017, 12:03 pm

NorthWind wrote:
Outrider wrote:
Where are the unhappily single women?

They're not just invisible, they must be choosing to hide and are master ninjas.

In real life I hardly ever hear anyone, no matter what gender, say they can't find a partner but need someone to be happy. Seems not to be socially acceptable to admit this to strangers, acquaintances or non-close friends.

Outrider wrote:
Hurtloam is the only single woman on Wrongplant who actually complains she doesn't like it, Slw1990 use to say shes unhappy being single but got herself a boyfriend.

Two women, compared to what, the hundreds of men who have passed through here with dating woes?

It's not often either, but sometimes women who don't post in L&D complained about being unhappily single in the Haven.
If I wanted to complain about being unhappily single, I'd probably not do so on WP (I've never had a boyfriend and, no, I could not easily change that) What would happen if I did complain here? There are a few men on here who believe the only possible reason why a woman wouldn't have dozens of men wanting to be her boyfriend, is because she's morbidly obese. I'm not in the mood to explain to anyone that, no, 56kg at 1.69m is not morbidly obese and that, consequently, there must be other possible reasons. Alternatively, I must be some stuck-up b***h with unreasonable expectations. <- Just as an example. There are several other possible outcomes but chances are discussing it here wouldn't be particularly useful for me.

Not saying that my situation is the same as that of the men who are close to or in their 30s and never had a girlfriend. It certainly is not. I'm also not as depressed/sad as some here seem to be, but that does not mean I prefer being single.

Outrider wrote:
Or how all over the internet its women telling other women a relationship won't make you happy, and all the other women agreeing.

Don't a lot of men do that too on the internet? Isn't there a lot of men who only want one night stands and encourage other men to do the same?

Outrider wrote:
Many women here on Wrongplanet are even agreeing men tend to need women more.

Chronos, Campin_Cat, Hale_bopp, wanderlust and some others have said something like that.

On WP it'd certainly seem like this is the case. Maybe it actually is.



According to some women on WP, 99% of guys, especially those they meet online are psychos and sociopaths.
Which is statistically impossible of course.

So.... no offense wp ladies, but I take the words of a lot of you with grain of salt.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,986
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Nov 2017, 4:13 pm

sly279 wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.

No one will love me. I was looking through my pictures and I’m super ugly.

That is false comparison, a fishmman who goes fishing every day for 50 years , casting with different baits for hours in a fully stocked pond but never caught a single fish in that 50 years, is a better comparison to most our situations.

Most everyone catches fish when they go, never been fishing where we didn’t catch a few or atleast one.
Fly fishing take more skill but still I caught fish lol. Liked fly fishing more by the way more doing stuff. Anyways there may be plenty fish in the sea but don’t mesn youll catch any. We ugly aspies are like fishing without a hook.


You haven't been doing it for 50 years Sly.

If a fisherman went for a long time without catching anything while other fishermen caught fish in the same pond, I'd suggest that fisherman should change his techniques.

Maybe you need a different bait. Plenty of rich ugly men have wives. The best solution for you would be to get more money. Yes, I'm already aware that it's hard for people like us to earn a good salary. It's hard for me too but I keep going because it causes me to get twenty times more attention from women.

If you earn it, they will come.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

02 Nov 2017, 4:27 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
ZachGoodwin wrote:
I'm gonna tell you what an old post from a website told me. Even though you look bad, what makes you look worse is if you give off this vibe of I'll always be a virgin and no one will ever love me. Dude really? No one will ever love you? We live in the 21st century, there will always be someone who loves you. There are plenty of fish in the sea, so you have to keep fishing. And hey, fishing isn't as easy as it seems, and that's one part of the analogy most people forgot. It won't be easy, but you do can get a fish in the end. You get zero fish when you stare at the water yelling at the fish to fly into your boat.

No one will love me. I was looking through my pictures and I’m super ugly.

That is false comparison, a fishmman who goes fishing every day for 50 years , casting with different baits for hours in a fully stocked pond but never caught a single fish in that 50 years, is a better comparison to most our situations.

Most everyone catches fish when they go, never been fishing where we didn’t catch a few or atleast one.
Fly fishing take more skill but still I caught fish lol. Liked fly fishing more by the way more doing stuff. Anyways there may be plenty fish in the sea but don’t mesn youll catch any. We ugly aspies are like fishing without a hook.


You haven't been doing it for 50 years Sly.

If a fisherman went for a long time without catching anything while other fishermen caught fish in the same pond, I'd suggest that fisherman should change his techniques.

Maybe you need a different bait. Plenty of rich ugly men have wives. The best solution for you would be to get more money. Yes, I'm already aware that it's hard for people like us to earn a good salary. It's hard for me too but I keep going because it causes me to get twenty times more attention from women.

If you earn it, they will come.


Why does no one listen to sly when he says he struggles with even working part time.

I've been there. When I was in my early 20s I burned out and took a year out for medical reasons. Thankfully I had my parents to support me.

I burned out again last year and had to switch careers.

The stress. I can't put into words. My triggers probably aren't the same as sky's, but work life has been really hard on me emotionally and physically.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,986
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Nov 2017, 4:42 pm

I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

02 Nov 2017, 7:40 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(

With travel time I, gone 8 hours a day. If I worked 8 I’d be gone 12 hours a day. I’d leave around 10 am and get back around 10:30pm.
I’m exhausted after a 5 hour shift. Half the time feel like quitting.

So there’s not good paying full time job in my future. Which most the advice offered to me relies on happening. And since that kind of job isn’t in my future neither is owning car, mother p, moped or similar thing. Bus is about all I can afford and that’s cause I pay half price. Otherwise it’d be a stretch affording it.
Half my income from work goes to the government. So I make 800 a month but get to keep $400 plus 700 from ssi, so I make 1,100 a month. Car payments are at least $400 a month. Then another $200 or so for insurance on Asia’s car,
Oh and i dont know about over there, but here we can only have 2,000 in wealth, so I can only buy a car with 2,000 or less. And since I can only have 2,000 saved up. I can’t even do that cause it’s $300 to transfer title, register tag and plate a car. So leaves 1,700. Right now they gave me money ow they want it back, so dealing with that drama, now I have to prove where it all went. Instead of them just saying we f****d up and told him it was his money over and over two weeks ago, so now my life will be dissected more then they do when you first apply to get on ssi over $380. Yay freaking hate my life. So my cats going die, cause we have 350 for his surgery but now I probably have to give them that money.



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,799
Location: the island of defective toy santas

02 Nov 2017, 8:04 pm

life is easier with a loving helpmate.



Outrider
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 15 Feb 2014
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,007
Location: Australia

02 Nov 2017, 8:27 pm

People who struggle in life are going to value their social life more.

You hear plenty of stories of young ambitious people having no social life in the pursuit of success and end up old and alone.

People with mental health problems like us learn to depend on others from a young age, we struggle to do so much the average person can't so strong family and friendships is something we seek out not just for support but because we value them a little more.

There are poor people in this world and family is the only thing they have, they arrive in Australia with nothing.

Think they care about earning 200,000 a year or living in a mansion and buyig a brad new BMW.

While many immigrants go on to be successful, there's plenty of poorer immigrants who are content with less money. A.smaller home, etc. And its their family and friends that matter to.them, because that's what was always there for them. Bit their old house in Afghanistan that got bombed,not their car that broke down.

Its kind of like that for us.

I personallybhave absolutely.no career ambitions, I'd be content with a part time job, living with a friend or girlfriend, and when I'm not working, doing adult business, I want to be doing things I love with people I love.

i just want a simple peaceful, fun life.



kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 Nov 2017, 8:30 pm

"Adult business," it should be noted, has various definitions---a least a few having to do with the sex trade.

When you use that phrase, people might misinterpret it.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,986
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Nov 2017, 9:23 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(

With travel time I, gone 8 hours a day. If I worked 8 I’d be gone 12 hours a day. I’d leave around 10 am and get back around 10:30pm.
I’m exhausted after a 5 hour shift. Half the time feel like quitting.

So there’s not good paying full time job in my future. Which most the advice offered to me relies on happening. And since that kind of job isn’t in my future neither is owning car, mother p, moped or similar thing. Bus is about all I can afford and that’s cause I pay half price. Otherwise it’d be a stretch affording it.
Half my income from work goes to the government. So I make 800 a month but get to keep $400 plus 700 from ssi, so I make 1,100 a month. Car payments are at least $400 a month. Then another $200 or so for insurance on Asia’s car,
Oh and i dont know about over there, but here we can only have 2,000 in wealth, so I can only buy a car with 2,000 or less. And since I can only have 2,000 saved up. I can’t even do that cause it’s $300 to transfer title, register tag and plate a car. So leaves 1,700. Right now they gave me money ow they want it back, so dealing with that drama, now I have to prove where it all went. Instead of them just saying we f****d up and told him it was his money over and over two weeks ago, so now my life will be dissected more then they do when you first apply to get on ssi over $380. Yay freaking hate my life. So my cats going die, cause we have 350 for his surgery but now I probably have to give them that money.


It sounds like the system is actually designed to keep you dependant on it.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


kraftiekortie
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 4 Feb 2014
Gender: Male
Posts: 87,510
Location: Queens, NYC

02 Nov 2017, 9:39 pm

You're still making a car payment on a car which not driveable?

Is Asia your sister?



sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

02 Nov 2017, 10:11 pm

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(

With travel time I, gone 8 hours a day. If I worked 8 I’d be gone 12 hours a day. I’d leave around 10 am and get back around 10:30pm.
I’m exhausted after a 5 hour shift. Half the time feel like quitting.

So there’s not good paying full time job in my future. Which most the advice offered to me relies on happening. And since that kind of job isn’t in my future neither is owning car, mother p, moped or similar thing. Bus is about all I can afford and that’s cause I pay half price. Otherwise it’d be a stretch affording it.
Half my income from work goes to the government. So I make 800 a month but get to keep $400 plus 700 from ssi, so I make 1,100 a month. Car payments are at least $400 a month. Then another $200 or so for insurance on Asia’s car,
Oh and i dont know about over there, but here we can only have 2,000 in wealth, so I can only buy a car with 2,000 or less. And since I can only have 2,000 saved up. I can’t even do that cause it’s $300 to transfer title, register tag and plate a car. So leaves 1,700. Right now they gave me money ow they want it back, so dealing with that drama, now I have to prove where it all went. Instead of them just saying we f****d up and told him it was his money over and over two weeks ago, so now my life will be dissected more then they do when you first apply to get on ssi over $380. Yay freaking hate my life. So my cats going die, cause we have 350 for his surgery but now I probably have to give them that money.


It sounds like the system is actually designed to keep you dependant on it.

It is designed to punish disabled people for making money. The conservatives designed it that way. Then they b***h people stay on it.
If I did manage to work full time I’d end up homeless. More I earn the less I make. I came close when they made me work 38 hours when I started.



RetroGamer87
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,986
Location: Adelaide, Australia

02 Nov 2017, 10:15 pm

sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(

With travel time I, gone 8 hours a day. If I worked 8 I’d be gone 12 hours a day. I’d leave around 10 am and get back around 10:30pm.
I’m exhausted after a 5 hour shift. Half the time feel like quitting.

So there’s not good paying full time job in my future. Which most the advice offered to me relies on happening. And since that kind of job isn’t in my future neither is owning car, mother p, moped or similar thing. Bus is about all I can afford and that’s cause I pay half price. Otherwise it’d be a stretch affording it.
Half my income from work goes to the government. So I make 800 a month but get to keep $400 plus 700 from ssi, so I make 1,100 a month. Car payments are at least $400 a month. Then another $200 or so for insurance on Asia’s car,
Oh and i dont know about over there, but here we can only have 2,000 in wealth, so I can only buy a car with 2,000 or less. And since I can only have 2,000 saved up. I can’t even do that cause it’s $300 to transfer title, register tag and plate a car. So leaves 1,700. Right now they gave me money ow they want it back, so dealing with that drama, now I have to prove where it all went. Instead of them just saying we f****d up and told him it was his money over and over two weeks ago, so now my life will be dissected more then they do when you first apply to get on ssi over $380. Yay freaking hate my life. So my cats going die, cause we have 350 for his surgery but now I probably have to give them that money.


It sounds like the system is actually designed to keep you dependant on it.

It is designed to punish disabled people for making money. The conservatives designed it that way. Then they b***h people stay on it.
If I did manage to work full time I’d end up homeless. More I earn the less I make. I came close when they made me work 38 hours when I started.


Yet the conservatives keep saying they want people to get off welfare and earn their own money.


_________________
The days are long, but the years are short


sly279
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 11 Dec 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 16,181
Location: US

03 Nov 2017, 12:12 am

RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
sly279 wrote:
RetroGamer87 wrote:
I get really stressed too. I know people who work 12, 16 or even 20 hours per day yet a mere 8 hour day makes me feel exhausted :(

With travel time I, gone 8 hours a day. If I worked 8 I’d be gone 12 hours a day. I’d leave around 10 am and get back around 10:30pm.
I’m exhausted after a 5 hour shift. Half the time feel like quitting.

So there’s not good paying full time job in my future. Which most the advice offered to me relies on happening. And since that kind of job isn’t in my future neither is owning car, mother p, moped or similar thing. Bus is about all I can afford and that’s cause I pay half price. Otherwise it’d be a stretch affording it.
Half my income from work goes to the government. So I make 800 a month but get to keep $400 plus 700 from ssi, so I make 1,100 a month. Car payments are at least $400 a month. Then another $200 or so for insurance on Asia’s car,
Oh and i dont know about over there, but here we can only have 2,000 in wealth, so I can only buy a car with 2,000 or less. And since I can only have 2,000 saved up. I can’t even do that cause it’s $300 to transfer title, register tag and plate a car. So leaves 1,700. Right now they gave me money ow they want it back, so dealing with that drama, now I have to prove where it all went. Instead of them just saying we f****d up and told him it was his money over and over two weeks ago, so now my life will be dissected more then they do when you first apply to get on ssi over $380. Yay freaking hate my life. So my cats going die, cause we have 350 for his surgery but now I probably have to give them that money.


It sounds like the system is actually designed to keep you dependant on it.

It is designed to punish disabled people for making money. The conservatives designed it that way. Then they b***h people stay on it.
If I did manage to work full time I’d end up homeless. More I earn the less I make. I came close when they made me work 38 hours when I started.


Yet the conservatives keep saying they want people to get off welfare and earn their own money.

They want them(me) to die. So they can’t have even more money then they already do and more then they need.
Their system keeps people on government aid not encourages them to get off.



Almost
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 3 Nov 2017
Gender: Male
Posts: 22
Location: Michigan

03 Nov 2017, 2:19 am

That's a powerful question, as there are a lot of people who seek relationships just because being single feels like their doing something wrong or something. I've never been in a real relationship, but just being alive as long as I have I know that starting a relationship with someone because "I dont want to be alone and this person is willing to be with me" isn't a solid foundation. Especially if you haven't got yourself figured out yet, you don't want to wrap somebody else up in your mess.

I think good advice is to make sure you love yourself and know who YOU are first. Then when you come across somebody who makes you feel even better about life and that you care for them, then that's a good potential mate for you. I bet that's way more fulfilling, it's just hard to find that special someone. You can look for them all you want, but sometimes they only come into your life by sheer luck. So if you stumble across that person that completes you, you gotta let them know so they don't slip away

That being said, I don't know anything about being in a relationship but in my head my ideal mate would be a girl I could just talk to about anything and I'd feel comfort in her presence (and vice versa). Someone you have that unspoken chemistry with, where you can just be doing nothing and you're enjoying yourself cause they are with you



auntblabby
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Feb 2010
Gender: Male
Posts: 113,799
Location: the island of defective toy santas

03 Nov 2017, 2:57 am

Almost wrote:
I don't know anything about being in a relationship but in my head my ideal mate would be a girl I could just talk to about anything and I'd feel comfort in her presence (and vice versa). Someone you have that unspoken chemistry with, where you can just be doing nothing and you're enjoying yourself cause they are with you

“Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.” [George Eliot]



hurtloam
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Mar 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 8,743
Location: Eyjafjallajökull

03 Nov 2017, 6:35 am

Society treats us like we're doing something wrong.

I can't be the only one who has family saying to them every time we meet up "so have you met someone yet?"

"Yet"... the expectation is that it's a thing that should happen.

I used to lie and say I was seeing someone who was just a friend so that I could appear normal, but I don't care anymore. I just say no.