Why do you think a relationship will make you happy?

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Even though they don't make me happy, they do a great deal to improve my self-esteem. They make me feel like at least one person values me.

They also give me a reason to leave the house on weekends. There are places that I wouldn't bother to go to by myself that I would go to with someone. Having a girlfriend even helps with my social anxiety because instead of going to a social event where I don't know anyone and then pretending to be interested in a potted plant, there's at least one person I know there and I can talk to her, rather than feeling alone amidst the crowd.

They're a good way to try out new restaurants. It's less awkward than sitting down in a restaurant alone. The same applies to travelling. I'd feel very awkward travelling alone. Two's company but a Contiki bus full of yelling drunk 19 year olds is a nightmare!

You seem quite intelligent to me, and from your profile picttyre I remember you looked above average face even if you were to never have lifted.

Anyway, sorry if I sounded like a jerk earlier.

Thing is, as ive said, i dont have many friends either so in that case it isnt a grass is greener situation, since i know i was happier with my life when I had good friend compared to now where I have none.

But just as a bad relationship will make you feel worse, so will bad friends. Part of the reason I needed to cut some people out of my life in the first place.

Now, I've actually had two girlfriends but I was with niether for very long, but one of the best nights of my life to this day was when I was with my first. That was almost 2 years ago now and there's only been a handful of days since I'd say were equal or better, but then again the past two years have been fairly uneventful.

I've worked hard to enjoy life to the fullest despite being so socially isolated and I've done surprisingly well considering many people in my position do drugs, are so depressed they get fat or don't take care of their appearance or hygiene at all, binge eat, even commit suicide, etc. Im your perfectly normal 18 year old, except for my disabilities qhich make working, driving, etc. More difficult.

I have Agoraphobia, do I can't rally go.anywhere without.someone I test being nearby.

If I went to say the park or something I could go off on my own but I'm comforted by the fact the person I trust is close by if I ever need them.

I could even say jog 20 minutes up the beach as long as someone takes me and he person I trust is still down the beach when I get back.

Obviously, having a girlfriend or friends to actually go places with can help this.

Otherwise, I can't go anywhere by myself past my front yard without feeling anxiety and experiencing painful panic attacks.

The cast majority if mental health problems can't be solved alone, and most people DEPEND on family, friends and lovers to help them overcome their mental health problems.

This doesn't make it acceptable for you to be a burden on everyone or lazy, but it does mean trying to fight this fight along is almost impossible.

How is someone with agoraphobia like me supposed to do anything without family, friends or lover?

Even mist mental health services don't help you leave the house and go out to do things.

You need a carer to do this and theresonly a limited number available even in a country like australia.

The so called greatest coubtry in th world despite horribly lagging services for the disabled, Indigenous, poor/unemployed, even the youth.

No worries, it's not a crime to be frustrated.

I've had long periods of social isolation aswell, and I used to have alot more friends than I have now, a certain period in my life where everyone I knew moved away to study was pretty rough. But I've come to realize that I can be happy by myself, I am and always was a lone wolf. I will probably have to realize though, that most people are not like me, and most people don't think like I do, so my perspective is probably not all that useful for the majority. I can see how it would be difficult being an aspie, and having stronger social needs than I have. My issues have mostly been work related, but once I get my degree I will be able to work from home.

Be proud of the fact that you are still able to look after yourself, even though you are struggling alone. There are alot of people out there, who have large support networks and still can't dedicate themselves to do anything.

Well, it certainly made me happier when I found my girlfriend in Tinder, made me feel worthy again, capable of anything. I say it can be a crucial thing for really lonely guys to finally find that girl they match with. And I'd encourage everyone to do their utmost to get there, it is definitely worth it

This is a really good statement and I think a lot of us need to think about this from time to time and realise how much we have actually managed to accomplish in our lives. We are by no means worthless.

It would make me happiER, but not the only thing that will. I made the mistake before of thinking a romantic relationship was a deeper relationship than any other kind. I was wrong. Your relationship with your mother, or your friend, or your uncle, or your professor, or your neighbor can be just as deep.

I don't think that is wrong. If it isn't like that, it is not worth pursuing. It would just be another friendship.

Okay, maybe I meant a sexual relationship. But really, a romantic relationship CAN BE less intense than one's relationship with their mother.

I completely disagree. The way my dude looks at me is definitely not the way my mother looks at me. If my uncle looked at me like that
I would be very uncomfortable.

It's a different kind of relationship. Even the tone of his voice is different when he talks to me.

Granted we're not going to go down the relationship route now we've found out more about each other, but there's a spark there that means I'll never see him as just a friend.

Different TYPE doesn't mean different LEVEL of love.

Yeah, but the different types don't make up for a lack of a sexual relationship. I want someone to come home to and snuggle up with at the e d of the day.

I know, that's true. That's why, I guess, some people have "f**k buddies" as well as close friends. Or "f**k buddies" who are close friends, but not romantic partners.

I don't pursue relationships for the sake of having regular sex, and I'm only interested in romantic relationships if they are very special and with a level of connection I never could have with friends. Can't even compare it to the connection with my mother. It's a totally different thing.

In QUANTITY of love, a relationship with your mom CAN be the same as with a boyfriend or girlfriend. The difference is in the details, what the details are rather than how much of it there is.

I completely agree with this perspective. My few long lasting friendships, are way deeper than any relationship I've ever had with the opposite sex. Part of that of course, is that there isn't the same risks involved with being completely open and honest with my male friends, as opposed to a relationship with a woman, where maintaining attraction will work against the possibility of discussing certain topics and emotions.