Why you can't get a date

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Men's depression has been shown to be better alleviated by outside situational changes, rather than inner changes such as self-improvement, so Outrider may be correct in seeking a relationship and improving his mental health this way.
It's different for females, and I think that's why we get so much of the "improve yourself first" from female responders.
That is their view.

Mind you, we get plenty from male responders too.

Ok, I'll shut up now.

Outriders
What’s Agoraphobia

I don’t go places alone it’s hard for me. I prefer online shopping. Otherwise I go with family to shop locally. Going to the gym is hard I hope it gets easier. I force myself cause I have to and now I’ve spent a lot. I hope it’s enough to keep overcoming my anxiety. But i Never did in past .

I especially won’t go walking alone gives me bad anxiety. Nor will I go eat out alone so I haven’t eaten out since got this job even though I could afford to. People would stare at me eating alone in a restaurant. I miss the steak potatoes and rolls thebplace offers though.

Interesting thought.
I’ve improved myself and it hasn’t brought me happiness. My depression anxiety s from no love life getting a gf would make me happy. If it was from being fat getting thin would make me happy but it’s not

My uncle is in his mid-40's, he has no wife or girlfriend, and he is happy. Like my uncle, you don't need a girlfriend to be happy.

Last edited by ZachGoodwin on 17 Oct 2017, 1:05 am, edited 4 times in total.

That's not true. They really both should discuss larger purchase at least to make sure there's enough money left over for important things. Imagine they both make a purchase that month, don't realise the other has bought something too and then there's no money left for the electric bill.

Men give this advice too.

Depression is complicated.

That thought was taken from a book called, You Can Stop Male Suicide by Glen Poole.

He says, "Currently, suicide prevention services tend to take a feminine, empathetic, feelings-led approach which works from the inside out by identifying people who feel suicidal and helping them talk about their emotions.
While this works for some men, a more masculine, systematic, things-led approach to suicide prevention starts from the outside in, by helping to fix the problems that are known to increase men's risk of suicide.
We know, for example, that external pressures, such as relationship problems, financial difficulties, work strain and unemployment can put men on the path to suicide.
We also know that when men are given practical help to fix these problems, their risk of suicide reduces."

While the issue here wasn't suicide, I can see how this thought ties in with the subject.

Yes, if you don’t own a house, you pay rent to the house owner. That’s the way rent works. It’s also called paying your way.



Like renting?



Yet you expect her to rent her space to you for free?

No one makes their parner pay half the mortgage unless it’s a fair rental price.

Agreed.

That's really interesting.

Improving oneself is part of the fix though. Being the best version of yourself makes you more attractive.

It also gives you periods of positivity or at least hard work in the exercising scenario where you can focus on something other than how lonely you are.

Yeah, it makes sense.

Our world makes sense.

Their world however....

As a female who has battled suicide and abusive men some of this is really hard to stomach. I’m still getting therapy for it 10 years later.

It really sounds like your opinions are formed from lack of life experience and little else.

Also, if you hate loud noises, how can you go to a gym? It’s the loudest, clankiest most echoing places ever.

What's hard to stomach?

And, home gym...

And, the older, far more experienced men here are agreeing with some of what I say.

People derive happiness differently. Inoverts can be happy alone, o don’t deny that. Hermits exist who live their whole life’s without ever seeing another human being.
Most people can’t be happy alone. I can’t be happy alone ever!!

I work retail and never had a woman say she has to ask permission to buy something, they just come in and buy it. Men go and get their wife/gf or call them. Then say she said no, sorry.