hurtloam wrote:
It shouldn't though. Why not invite 2 or 3 single people along so there's no third wheels? We all know plenty of single people in my social circle. It's not like there's only 1 single oddball no one's knows what to do with.
When I organise get togethers I invite a mixture of people and we all have a nice time. It's not awkward at all. The couples just don't think. I'm tired of being the one who has to organise things.
This was done in my social circle already, and very poorly.
I think they just don't know how to organize groups.
First off, there's only one other single man who comes only once every few months, and I have very little in common with him. For instance, he likes cars, I like trains. Second, single men and single women are treated as differently as night and day. Single women are actively included into conversations; single men are relegated to second-class status. (Except once, when there was only one woman on the scene.) I'm aware that as a man, I'm supposed to fight for my status in
all groups to some degree, but with long-time friends, a little inclusion would be nice.
One time I hung out in the mixed group like you described, the couples caused a planned outing to fall though. They did it by talking... and talking... and talking... until we missed the whole thing. I faked a stomachache and went home. Then I swigged vodka straight out the bottle to quell the anger inside me. Maybe all this just comes off inadvertently
, due to the strong social chemistry between the queen bees of the group.
I think that when
you (hurtloam) organize things, it's just you---one person---doing it. Meetup groups work the same way: members may have likes and dislikes, but the organizer's word is final. If they want to build up a single-friendly group, then it's going to happen. There's no social chemistry, like among my friends' girlfriends, getting in the way. So the usual NT groupthink doesn't skew the group in one gender's favor.