goldfish21
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Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
02 Mar 2018, 12:37 pm
I was just reading about someone's complaints about being rejected by many, many, women who state that he doesn't have his life together well enough for them to date.. and yet this person continues to subject himself to the exact same rejection over and over again for the same reasons.
An alternative would be to listen to those women's rejections as constructive criticism & the spend time and energy working on one's self in order to become more attractive, and in all likelihood, reduce the probability of rejection in the future & get some dates and an eventual relationship.
Seems like a natural progression & chain of events to me, but for some unknown reason there are a number of people out there who complain endlessly about their lack of dating success, yet still make the choice to do absolutely zero in terms of self improvement work in order to become more attractive. Don't be like those people! If you're being informed that ABC & XYZ are universally unattractive traits and the feedback you're getting from attempts to secure a date is repeated rejection, work on changing ABC & XYZ instead! Sure, it'll take time and effort, but so what? It's the only way to get what you want out of life. 
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.02 Mar 2018, 12:55 pm
02 Mar 2018, 12:57 pm
There's no way I'm looking left.
02 Mar 2018, 2:18 pm
An alternative would be to listen to those women's rejections as constructive criticism & the spend time and energy working on one's self in order to become more attractive, and in all likelihood, reduce the probability of rejection in the future & get some dates and an eventual relationship.
Seems like a natural progression & chain of events to me, but for some unknown reason there are a number of people out there who complain endlessly about their lack of dating success, yet still make the choice to do absolutely zero in terms of self improvement work in order to become more attractive. Don't be like those people! If you're being informed that ABC & XYZ are universally unattractive traits and the feedback you're getting from attempts to secure a date is repeated rejection, work on changing ABC & XYZ instead! Sure, it'll take time and effort, but so what? It's the only way to get what you want out of life.
Firstly I wanted to say thanks to people for continuing what I think of a positive thread, I think we all could use more of these.
Sadly it seems that people prefer being the victim, it's a matter of comfort. This way the other people can be blamed for everything going wrong. It's something that happens a lot in unhealthy lifestyles such as addiction. It's better to get comfortable where a person is rather than risk changing something and facing the fear of new rejection or pain. What people should be focusing on is that if you improve yourself, you will start to feel better as a side effect. Don't do it for another person since that usually ends up being temporary. Rather do it for yourself and you'll start to see things improving in other areas of your life. Find someone else that is also struggling and wants to do the same improvement as you, ie fitness, socializing or whatever it is. That way you can challenge each other, support each other and have a reliable and long term inspiration to continue.
02 Mar 2018, 4:44 pm
An alternative would be to listen to those women's rejections as constructive criticism & the spend time and energy working on one's self in order to become more attractive, and in all likelihood, reduce the probability of rejection in the future & get some dates and an eventual relationship.
Seems like a natural progression & chain of events to me, but for some unknown reason there are a number of people out there who complain endlessly about their lack of dating success, yet still make the choice to do absolutely zero in terms of self improvement work in order to become more attractive. Don't be like those people! If you're being informed that ABC & XYZ are universally unattractive traits and the feedback you're getting from attempts to secure a date is repeated rejection, work on changing ABC & XYZ instead! Sure, it'll take time and effort, but so what? It's the only way to get what you want out of life.
Unless improving yourself is impossible.
If women would only date billionaires would you tell men here they just need to work really hard to become billionaires?
02 Mar 2018, 4:53 pm
An alternative would be to listen to those women's rejections as constructive criticism & the spend time and energy working on one's self in order to become more attractive, and in all likelihood, reduce the probability of rejection in the future & get some dates and an eventual relationship.
Seems like a natural progression & chain of events to me, but for some unknown reason there are a number of people out there who complain endlessly about their lack of dating success, yet still make the choice to do absolutely zero in terms of self improvement work in order to become more attractive. Don't be like those people! If you're being informed that ABC & XYZ are universally unattractive traits and the feedback you're getting from attempts to secure a date is repeated rejection, work on changing ABC & XYZ instead! Sure, it'll take time and effort, but so what? It's the only way to get what you want out of life.
Unless improving yourself is impossible.
If women would only date billionaires would you tell men here they just need to work really hard to become billionaires?
I have no desire to be moneyed. Enough to be comfortable and to live a good life.
goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
03 Mar 2018, 3:31 am
An alternative would be to listen to those women's rejections as constructive criticism & the spend time and energy working on one's self in order to become more attractive, and in all likelihood, reduce the probability of rejection in the future & get some dates and an eventual relationship.
Seems like a natural progression & chain of events to me, but for some unknown reason there are a number of people out there who complain endlessly about their lack of dating success, yet still make the choice to do absolutely zero in terms of self improvement work in order to become more attractive. Don't be like those people! If you're being informed that ABC & XYZ are universally unattractive traits and the feedback you're getting from attempts to secure a date is repeated rejection, work on changing ABC & XYZ instead! Sure, it'll take time and effort, but so what? It's the only way to get what you want out of life.
Firstly I wanted to say thanks to people for continuing what I think of a positive thread, I think we all could use more of these.
Sadly it seems that people prefer being the victim, it's a matter of comfort. This way the other people can be blamed for everything going wrong. It's something that happens a lot in unhealthy lifestyles such as addiction. It's better to get comfortable where a person is rather than risk changing something and facing the fear of new rejection or pain. What people should be focusing on is that if you improve yourself, you will start to feel better as a side effect. Don't do it for another person since that usually ends up being temporary. Rather do it for yourself and you'll start to see things improving in other areas of your life. Find someone else that is also struggling and wants to do the same improvement as you, ie fitness, socializing or whatever it is. That way you can challenge each other, support each other and have a reliable and long term inspiration to continue.
Yes to all of this.
I've gotten stronger and fitter for myself, brain functions/feeling good, as well as functional strength for work and play. It's a nice secondary byproduct that being in shape is also more attractive to others. It's certainly been beneficial to my dating/sex life.
As for a workout/improvement partner, sure, why not if that works for you? For the most part I've done what I have in solitude. I do think about others I love and use that to push myself, though. And one time I went for a run with a friend, who's a better runner, and I pushed myself harder than ever before or since to keep up with him. There can be value in doing things with others - until that run I had no idea I could even push myself that hard.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.goldfish21
Veteran
Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
03 Mar 2018, 3:34 am
An alternative would be to listen to those women's rejections as constructive criticism & the spend time and energy working on one's self in order to become more attractive, and in all likelihood, reduce the probability of rejection in the future & get some dates and an eventual relationship.
Seems like a natural progression & chain of events to me, but for some unknown reason there are a number of people out there who complain endlessly about their lack of dating success, yet still make the choice to do absolutely zero in terms of self improvement work in order to become more attractive. Don't be like those people! If you're being informed that ABC & XYZ are universally unattractive traits and the feedback you're getting from attempts to secure a date is repeated rejection, work on changing ABC & XYZ instead! Sure, it'll take time and effort, but so what? It's the only way to get what you want out of life.
Unless improving yourself is impossible.
If women would only date billionaires would you tell men here they just need to work really hard to become billionaires?
There isn't a person alive who cannot improve themselves.
What does that hyperbolic example have to do with anything?
Women don't only date billionaires. There are ~3.7B women & billionaires are extremely rare. Women date all sorts of people and you know it.
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No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.RetroGamer87
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Joined: 30 Jul 2013
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 10,971
Location: Adelaide, Australia
03 Mar 2018, 4:43 am
There's no way I'm looking left.
Veni, vidi, risi.
13 Mar 2018, 4:31 pm
13 Mar 2018, 8:46 pm
Sweetleaf
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Joined: 6 Jan 2011
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 34,485
Location: Somewhere in Colorado
14 Mar 2018, 12:16 pm
14 Mar 2018, 5:34 pm
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
07 Apr 2018, 6:49 pm
I've been eating too much and doing too little lately. The Tough Mudder is coming up in a couple months, so it's time to simply not buy any foods I know I shouldn't eat, and to get in motion a lot more. I went for a 10Km walk before dinner last night - it was nice. I only have 5-10lbs of excess fat to shed over the next 2 1/2 months or whatever the timeline is. Shouldn't be very difficult once I get running a few evenings a week. Every time I do go for a run I never want to eat any crap food afterwards - just healthy protein, veggies, and plenty of water. While I'm doing this to train for the Tough Mudder again, it'll get me in better shape for both work and studies, and have the added bonus of making me look & feel more attractive to others. Even though I'm still intentionally avoiding people in terms of the possibility of a relationship (lol), it's still nice to feel attractive - and should be good for my sex life.
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.12 Apr 2018, 5:11 pm
goldfish21
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Joined: 17 Feb 2013
Age: 41
Gender: Male
Posts: 22,612
Location: Vancouver, BC, Canada
15 Apr 2018, 1:26 pm
Went for a 9km run yesterday in a very light rain just before sunset. Only a couple hundred more Winter beers to run off! 
_________________
No
for supporting trump. Because doing so is deplorable.
