Woman Want a Man Who they Can Show to Their Friend

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Woman want a man who they can show to their friends, and has good social skills; someone that will not embarrass them in the slightest. Even if they don’t think this curiously, it is still the case. It is less the case for a guy, though they might consider a looks more important. The only way is to be more NT like. I don’t think woman are attracted men because they are different, unless they are alpha-male, rich or both.

I disagree. That only applies to a small minority of women. A woman would not care if their loved one might act a bit wierd. Money or being an alpha male has little to do with it.

I will have to agree with Topher.

It's obviously not cut-and-dry, and there's a danger of stereotyping and making broad generalisations, but I'd agree with the initial post that people who are attracted to those with high social status, "rich, alpha-male types", and strong social skills, rather than your typical not-exceptionally-wealthy AS male with poor social skills, all other things being equal. A rather extreme historical case in point if you believe the usual depictions would be Howard Hughes, who was extremely eccentric, obsessive-compulsive, yet managed to date Hollywood sex symbols because he was rich and powerful. If you appear confident and in-control (which is hard to display consistently unless you actually are), women will flock to you. You also have to take into account that most people structure their lives around being appealing to the opposite sex (this has a lot to do with what conformity is all about), and usually bring reasonable or strong social skills to the table, whereas AS males' weakness when it comes to social skills is generally quickly apparent.

I'm not sure there's a way around this besides leveraging other strengths (if you have them) to gain higher social status/money/power/etc, rendering any social skill deficits irrelevant. Trying to comphensate otherwise by improving your social skills seems to only go so far, because after a certain point improvement saturates, and it's not at the level that everyone else is at, or AS wouldn't be identified as the permanent deficiency that it is.

Not cut ad dry, black and white. But I do think that aspies ignore these issue are in for a harder time. I wanted you to think by writing this post. I don’t want you to have purely romantic view of reality. I simply isn’t like that. Got to get back to work text you later.

Then be an alpha male! Social skills are not required to be an alpha male. More women than you think know their place and want a man that doesn't subscribe to a warped society that blurs gender roles!

I find that most women want a man who is entertaining, above all else. The second most important thing is for the man to be successful in some way, especially a way that is important to that individual woman. Third on the list is niceness.

Being entertaining can mean being funny and charming in a conventional way, or it can mean having a sense of humor that is offensive to some people, or it can mean being alternately charming and rude in a bizarre, quirky way. I think this is the origin of the "women like jerks" myth. What is overlooked is that most women prefer a guy who is funny, spontaneous, charming, and witty without being a jerk. The catch is that they would choose a funny, charming, successful jerk over a boring nice guy with no sense of humor.

The success thing gets misunderstood a lot too. Some women really do judge a guy by how much money he makes, but most women look for other forms of success. It is really attractive when a guy puts a lot of effort into something he likes and is fairly good at it, whether or not he makes any money at it. This is one reason why guys in bands get so much action, as do athletes. But it doesn't have to be something in the public eye. If you tell a girl you're a writer or an artist, that's often a turn-on. Unfortunately, this does not always apply to things that most women don't care about or understand such as computer programming or chemistry - unless you're extremely successful, at the top of your field. The good news is that knowledge is included as a form of success. A guy who is extremely knowledgeable, whether it's about one thing or many things, and wants to share this knowledge without bragging about it is attractive!

Yes, niceness is important too. In my case, for example, I like a guy who is really nice to me and has an irreverent, quirky, sarcastic sense of humor, and is really knowledgeable about something I'm interested in. I don't like jerks and I don't care about money or physical attractiveness in the traditional sense. When I talk to other girls about guys, most of them feel the same way! Girls who are really into a certain kind of music want a boyfriend who's into the same music and is good at playing it or knowledgeable about it and is nice and is funny/charming/fun to hang out with.

Long explanation, I know, but I think it's all pretty simple. And Aspie Chav is right - women want a guy who they can "show off" to their friends, but exactly what this means is slightly different for each woman.

I was thinking that the OP was referring to people who look down on anyone of a social class lower than their own. That is a complete turn-off to me.

There ARE different levels here.

Maybe only superficial type women, NT or AS, want a man who will never embarrass them, at all, but I think we're talking about a significant number when we talk about women who want a man who will not embarrass them in front of coworkers, a majority when we're talking about women who want a man who will not embarrass them in front of their friends, and an overwhelming majority when we're talking about women who will not embarrass them in front of their parents.

Having an amazing capacity to embarrass significant others in front of all three of these groups, I think I'd know. I also think I'll die alone for it, but there's a million threads on that topic on this board. The point remains though that social adeptness is an inescapable part of relationships. This is why living as a hermit out in Vegas and having my only social situation be work is appealing. Why put yourself through relationships, friendships, family gatherings, any of that? Pretending to be normal and being consistently insincere for the benefit of people who probably don't even respect you is what work is for. When not at work, shouldn't you at least be allowed to feel alive without permission?

-Frank