need to ask my friend out

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i have a dilemma on my hands today. i need to ask this girl out today, cause i feel like the window of opportunity is going to close. it's obvious she likes me. there's seriously never a dull moment between us - the only person on earth i can say that about. i just have no idea how to do it cause i'm so f***ing nervous i'd probably choke on the phone. i mean, i've invited girls out on date-like activities before, in person and otherwise, but i've never used the word "date" quite like this.

and i really like her, she understands me so well. thing is, we were friends in high school (in the same social circle) but nothing more. after high school we didn't hang out for a few years (i was having personal issues that she knows about) but she texted me recently and we hung out. talked and laughed continuously for a good hour.

i hate to do this but i'm thinking of texting her. i think the odds of getting it done are a lot higher this way. maybe she'd understand.. something like "hey julie, i'm kinda really nervous saying this, so i'm texting you, would you like to have dinner with me? as in a date?" maybe i'd get points for being... cute? please help

I was always nervous when first approaching a girl. When things go as well as you've described I am never nervous anymore. It seems odd to me to be nervous around somebody you already have good relations with.

I don't see why any window of opportunity is closing unless she or you is going to move at the end of the semester or something. I don't know what to say other than that you shouldn't make a huge deal out of it, or it will stress you out and might make her feel pressured. Also it is much better to ask people out in person if possible, but if you're too nervous for even the phone then maybe you shouldn't try that.

It sounds as if you feel it's imperative to use the word/label date when you ask her out. Am I reading you correctly?

I mean; men don't usually say to women; "Would you like to go on a date with me?" They say, "Can I take you out to dinner."

When accepting a dinner invitation, the lady is in essence accepting a date. But answering the question; "Would you like to go out on date with me?", is a deeper more serious question; it's a tad grandiose to pose such a question as part of a 1st invitation.

you guys are awesome. thank you! i'm not at all anxious around her, i was just nervous because i was planning to use the "date" word over the phone; which is too deep and serious as MountainLaurel said. "can i take you out to dinner" is perfect. i'm gonna ask it in person soon. thanx again i let you know what she says

If by accepting the dinner invitation she is accepting the date, then the answer to "Would you like to go out on a date with me?" is obviously "Yes." I don't understand how in being direct the question is more serious or grandiose.

I never understood it either, but that's what everyone told me and from my personal experience it appears to be true.

The difference is implied in your phrase; "being direct". The question; "will you go on a date with me" is more direct than; "would you like to go out to dinner with me".

The woman accepting an invitation to dinner is, in essence, indicating an openness to the possibility of being courted by the man making the invitation. Using the phrase; "will you go on date with me" is asking her to indicate whether she wants to date you.

The latter question is more direct and it demands more information about the woman's feelings than she may feel ready for.

I wouldn't mind being asked out by text. At least you're asking her out. Go for it!

I always thought that girls thought you were weak if you didn't initiate romantic stuff for the first time in person. Is that not right? If you think there is a difference between your own views and girls in general then plz says so.

she said yes

Sorry, I know this is an old thread by now, but there's one thing I still don't understand: when I was at school this is exactly how people asked each other out. They'd go up to the person they liked and say, "Do you want to go out with me?" If she said yes, they were a couple then and there, if she said no then he'd be embarrassed. It worked for all my friends when we were teenagers, why not now as adults? There's no obvious logic here.

Good man! Well done. If you don't mind me asking, how did you ask her out in the end? You said you were thinking of texting her.

She should buy you flowers for that! LOL