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asymmetrical love

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dino_sp
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10 Mar 2009, 10:41 am

anyone else never experienced reciprocal love?
i always fell in love to girls who don't like me, or that put me in the friend zone, and those rare times when a girl manifested her interest in me, i liked it, but i didn't reciprocated the interest; I tried hanging out and dating, but everytime i felt uncomfortable, like it was an exam about a subject i didn't like.
Also, 2 out of the 3 girls i ever fell in love with turned out to be lesbian: ok, i know i can't read body language,but what were the odds?...
I begin to think that i feel love in a different way than other peoples: when i like someone, i can't like anyone else, while out there is full of people who choose the partner they feel better with.

i really want to know how it feels to love who loves you, i just don't know where to start: i need to know someone for a long time before i can start feeling something. i'm feeling very depressed the last few days, because the chances that this will happen again soon are ridiculous, also without counting the chances that the interest is reciprocated.



MmeLePen
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10 Mar 2009, 11:30 am

dino_sp wrote:
anyone else never experienced reciprocal love?
i always fell in love to girls who don't like me, or that put me in the friend zone, and those rare times when a girl manifested her interest in me, i liked it, but i didn't reciprocated the interest; I tried hanging out and dating, but everytime i felt uncomfortable, like it was an exam about a subject i didn't like.
Also, 2 out of the 3 girls i ever fell in love with turned out to be lesbian: ok, i know i can't read body language,but what were the odds?...
I begin to think that i feel love in a different way than other peoples: when i like someone, i can't like anyone else, while out there is full of people who choose the partner they feel better with.

i really want to know how it feels to love who loves you, i just don't know where to start: i need to know someone for a long time before i can start feeling something. i'm feeling very depressed the last few days, because the chances that this will happen again soon are ridiculous, also without counting the chances that the interest is reciprocated.


How old are you? It took me until I was 34 - and he's a fellow aspie.

The good news is, I've never had a broken-heart. (Except when the Giants lost to the Dodgers in the 93(?) play-offs.)


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dalcassian
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10 Mar 2009, 11:33 am

I always had cases where people would want to hook up with me and i would think and often say "oh that's disgusting", not that I didn't love them, but just that things like kissing and sex seemed totally irrational and slimy.



dino_sp
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10 Mar 2009, 11:41 am

MmeLePen wrote:
How old are you? It took me until I was 34 - and he's a fellow aspie.

The good news is, I've never had a broken-heart. (Except when the Giants lost to the Dodgers in the 93(?) play-offs.)


i'll be 24 in a few days.
i can't take 10 more years like this



MmeLePen
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10 Mar 2009, 11:54 am

dino_sp wrote:
MmeLePen wrote:
How old are you? It took me until I was 34 - and he's a fellow aspie.

The good news is, I've never had a broken-heart. (Except when the Giants lost to the Dodgers in the 93(?) play-offs.)


i'll be 24 in a few days.
i can't take 10 more years like this


Than get yourself an aspie...! Seriously!


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billsmithglendale
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10 Mar 2009, 5:09 pm

dino_sp wrote:
MmeLePen wrote:
How old are you? It took me until I was 34 - and he's a fellow aspie.

The good news is, I've never had a broken-heart. (Except when the Giants lost to the Dodgers in the 93(?) play-offs.)


i'll be 24 in a few days.
i can't take 10 more years like this


It is pretty crushing to your ego, so I feel your pain.

I'm going to make some assumptions here, and say that you are probably meeting only a few people a year and then crushing on one or two from that group. I think if you meet more people (increase the sample size), you'll find someone you like who will reciprocate.



phil777
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10 Mar 2009, 8:05 pm

Pshaw, i keep on living even though i'm only 22 =.=



outlier
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11 Mar 2009, 7:05 am

I've never experienced it. Am in my thirties and don't expect it to ever happen. Acknowledging this takes away any pain of expectation.



billsmithglendale
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11 Mar 2009, 4:51 pm

outlier wrote:
I've never experienced it. Am in my thirties and don't expect it to ever happen. Acknowledging this takes away any pain of expectation.


Not a great way to go through life though, or very realistic. How much effort are you putting in to make it happen? And are you motivated to do so, or not that driven? Some of us crave affection, sex, etc. more than others, and I've noticed some Aspies here have 0 sex drive and are happy being alone.