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jbinion
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18 Apr 2009, 5:17 pm

I'm in high school and 17. High school girls are so insecure. They like what's popular and go out with a guy who isnt s**t just because he is popular. They play games. gossip and spread rumors. They hate each other. They are as*holes and very judgmental. The pretty ones are always popular and closed minded. The ugly ones rarely get noticed and have a more open mind toward weird guys.
It seems that my problem isnt my looks, my personality (if you take the time to get to know me well enough), or just me as a person. It seems it's always about how weird I am. Sometimes girls approach me who I'm not interested in. I remember in 8th grade i went out with 2 girls who i had no interest in and wasnt attracted to, just because I didn't want to make them feel the way the girls that I like make me feel. I watched this thing on ABC about an autistic love story and there was this autistic couple and the first thing the guy said was "It's great to have found someone like her. Not too many girls can accept a guys differences." well i say good for him and I'm happy for him.
For them it is a mutual relationship. For me I have never had a gf that I really liked, The ones that I do like treat me like s**t ior think im weird. And another thing, they always have a guy breathing down thier necks every second of the day.

I see girls look and stare at me at school, i used to, but now i dont even bother to talk to them anymore, because it always ends up messing up.

Freshman year- I asked a girl out to homecoming and she said yes. (I didnt really like her much though, she was okay), and I payed for everything, I gave her money back to her and told her she didnt have to pay, and them the homecoming dance comes and she doesnt even show up.

Sophmore year- i asked a girl out to homecoming. she said yes. and then a week later she started going out with this other guy and she told me "We can still go". I said 'No."

I'm starting to really hate girls and women. they act flakey and everything. No actually I don't like women, that doesnt mean I wouldnt take the time to get to know someone to judge them for their character, but when it comes to dating they can kiss my ass. They are evil and full of s**t. I hate women.

Everyone tells me college will be better. i hope so.

Do you all think college will be better?



MissConstrue
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18 Apr 2009, 5:24 pm

Yeah but it also depends on your perspective about people in general. I found it to be less of that social hierarchy and more various with people and their ages and interests.

I agree about some girls, even as a chick in highschool I could never get along with them. In fact, most of my friends were guys.


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18 Apr 2009, 5:35 pm

jbinion wrote:
I see girls look and stare at me at school, i used to, but now i dont even bother to talk to them anymore, because it always ends up messing up.


Welcome to the club!

jbinion wrote:
I'm starting to really hate girls and women. they act flakey and everything. No actually I don't like women, that doesnt mean I wouldnt take the time to get to know someone to judge them for their character, but when it comes to dating they can kiss my ass. They are evil and full of sh**. I hate women.


You are only 17 - your life isnt over yet. And you live in better times now when females are allowed to hit on men, that fact alone should make your life easier.

Instead of "hating" them, just ignore them and do something more intresting that you like instead of focusing on trying to get a girl. Going around feeling miserable because of others being "flaky" does not lead anywhere good. You cannot do anything about it and it is just a waste of energy.

While you concentrate on making your own life good, also consider getting some dating experience through "unserious dating": Instead of trying to get a date to find the girl of your dreams, go on dates with "any" girl to get some dating experience.

Btw, for dating, the best thing to do (IMO) is for each person to pay for their own stuff. I do not think it is wise to spend any of money on any girls that are not genuinely intrested in you. And the girls who are intrested in guys who spend lots on money on just anyone, they are not worth your time - they are usually in that "flakey" category.

Good luck.


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hopelessaspielover
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18 Apr 2009, 5:41 pm

I'd love to tell you that you're wrong when it comes to high school girls, but to be honest, a lot of them are catty and bitchy to eachother. It's all because there's men around, not that men are a bad thing. But that's why women get like that. We see any other girl as competition because they want to be taken by the guy, not the other girl. So fighting ensues.

Believe me, you'll find that there will be a gorgeous girl one day who has a heart as pretty as her face. And when that time comes, she'll understand you. But for now, you can't always go for the superficial ones. So don't hate women forever, okay? Just promise me you won't. You can't give up on us. We're only trying to impress you men.

The girls who treat you like s**t you have to learn to forget about. They're not worth your time. Underneath all that makeup is an ugly person. If no one can take the time to sit and talk to you, understand you and give you the time of day, you shouldn't be with them, because your opinion and life is just as important as everyone else's. If you'd like, I'll talk to you! I'm 15, if you care. I'll be flat out. I have a boyfriend already with Asperger's, but I'd be glad to talk to you! Send me a PM!

I've got a few years before college, but it's got me thinking. The girls there will be older, so they're not going to be as concerned with the immature petty fighting, and be less mean spirited, only because of the fact that they're there. "Oh, I'm in college now. I'm out of the house, free to do as I wish. I must be mature if my parents will let me live by myself. I better act it, then." They'll be focused on acting like an adult, being older and mature, they'll have a better attitude around you and less spite. *I plan on going for psychology =D*

Hopefully things will be better for you there. I'm sorry for the women who treat you that way. It's totally uncalled for, to be honest. I'm a girl, and even I hate when we do that. I hardly don't. I like to keep the peace at my school, and I have a better intelligence and maturity level than them. lol

Also, my childhood wasn't the best, so I easily understand my bf and his problems. =) Anyways...send me a message! Hope everything goes well!


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JohnHopkins
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18 Apr 2009, 6:22 pm

Let me tell you from my own experience as I near the end of my education, it really does get better as time goes on. People become more mature and open-minded, and smarter (as you have to be to keep in education that long).



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18 Apr 2009, 10:02 pm

hopelessaspielover wrote:
I'd love to tell you that you're wrong when it comes to high school girls, but to be honest, a lot of them are catty and bitchy to eachother. It's all because there's men around, not that men are a bad thing. But that's why women get like that. We see any other girl as competition because they want to be taken by the guy, not the other girl. So fighting ensues.

I thought it was because they were trying to extract something from me (usually knowledge to pass the class because all that social awkwardness is compensated by the ability to excel in math, science, technology, and music)... no woman that has ever shown "interest" in me has ever really been interested... sure many women *respect* me, and I appreciate that, but those women don't have any romantic interest, so that's ruled out...

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Believe me, you'll find that there will be a gorgeous girl one day who has a heart as pretty as her face. And when that time comes, she'll understand you. But for now, you can't always go for the superficial ones. So don't hate women forever, okay? Just promise me you won't. You can't give up on us. We're only trying to impress you men.

And women like that are usually the taken ones...

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The girls who treat you like sh** you have to learn to forget about. They're not worth your time. Underneath all that makeup is an ugly person. If no one can take the time to sit and talk to you, understand you and give you the time of day, you shouldn't be with them, because your opinion and life is just as important as everyone else's. If you'd like, I'll talk to you! I'm 15, if you care. I'll be flat out. I have a boyfriend already with Asperger's, but I'd be glad to talk to you! Send me a PM!

I learned that one real fast back in high school... but not before I made an ass of myself repeatedly... The problem is as I stated above: the women that are respectable tend to either be taken or not interested in me (or a relationship in general)...

Quote:
I've got a few years before college, but it's got me thinking. The girls there will be older, so they're not going to be as concerned with the immature petty fighting, and be less mean spirited, only because of the fact that they're there. "Oh, I'm in college now. I'm out of the house, free to do as I wish. I must be mature if my parents will let me live by myself. I better act it, then." They'll be focused on acting like an adult, being older and mature, they'll have a better attitude around you and less spite. *I plan on going for psychology =D*

Yeah, and then they get too into studying and don't have time for love... those that do find time for relationships that usually haven't matured in the manner you suggest...

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Hopefully things will be better for you there. I'm sorry for the women who treat you that way. It's totally uncalled for, to be honest. I'm a girl, and even I hate when we do that. I hardly don't. I like to keep the peace at my school, and I have a better intelligence and maturity level than them. lol

Well things do improve over high school overall... for one thing, because nobody is forced to go to college, you'll find that motivation in college is at least slightly higher than high school. Also, it's a lot less cutthroat... but unless you're only looking for casual sex, don't expect your love life to improve in college...



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19 Apr 2009, 4:16 am

JohnHopkins wrote:
Let me tell you from my own experience as I near the end of my education, it really does get better as time goes on. People become more mature and open-minded, and smarter (as you have to be to keep in education that long).


^^^ true. OP is young, and people eventually grow up. this goes for a lot of problems related to school, such as blatant bullying and stuff.


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desmonami
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19 Apr 2009, 5:54 am

High school girls and boys are unfortunately immature. Cut them some slack. They are young. I am sure things will look up once you get to college as you will meet a whole range of people who more open minded.



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19 Apr 2009, 5:47 pm

What you said, I felt the exact same way. I'll be blunt, I thought most teenage girls sucked. I could not stand them. They were either very immature, bitchy, judgmental, and just plain obnoxious. However, that is just high school. I'll have to say that once you enter the adult world, older girls are a lot better. There are plenty of older girls that are more mature and likable(of course some will still be immature too). There are some girls in their mid 20's that I must say I've grown to like. At my age right now, I'm too young to go out with them so right now, I'm only old enough for the girls I can't stand right now(the teenage ones). I'll have to play the waiting game but that's fine with me, there's no rush.



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19 Apr 2009, 6:37 pm

I can relate, man. Even though I never bothered dating or attempting to get a girlfriend, I can still kinda relate.

When I was in high school, I couldn't help but notice that just about every girl there (except for a select few) was very immature and stupid, and hardly worth my time as far as dating prospects go. And unfortunately the same thing applies at my college. I still have yet to meet a woman there who is even worth talking to.
But I'm not too worried about that as I have my studies, hobbies and cat to keep me occupied. Besides, I imagine I won't start dating for at least another decade, as I am incompatible with the vast majority of girls my own age (due to the vastly differing interests, & the huge disparity between our maturity levels).


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21 Apr 2009, 12:58 pm

I didn't date anyone in high school, girls there thought I was just a joke. They always spoke to me in a condescending manner, never treated me equally like they did anyone else. When I made it clear I wasn't going to take being treated that way, I was the one in the wrong, which makes no sense to me.

In 8th grade, girls made fun of me, something that was new since previously all my tormentors had been male. They didn't think much of me in high school either. One girl who frequenly made fun of me one day, in front of everyone, asked me to go skating, and I of course immediately turned her down, and was ridiculed even more for it. It was a lose-lose situation because if I had believed her and showed up and she didn't, I'd have been ridiculed for that as well.

One other time, a girl asked me if I was going to a dance and I told her no and she said "I guess I won't get to dance with you." That would have been a humiliation as well.

As for college, I was so turned off on the idea of dating or having a girlfriend I didn't find anyone there and besides, I couldn't make sense of those girls either so I stayed alone. I didn't date anyone until several years after college, but it doesn't bother me much.


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jbinion
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21 Apr 2009, 9:02 pm

PrisonerSix wrote:
I didn't date anyone in high school, girls there thought I was just a joke. They always spoke to me in a condescending manner, never treated me equally like they did anyone else. When I made it clear I wasn't going to take being treated that way, I was the one in the wrong, which makes no sense to me.

In 8th grade, girls made fun of me, something that was new since previously all my tormentors had been male. They didn't think much of me in high school either. One girl who frequenly made fun of me one day, in front of everyone, asked me to go skating, and I of course immediately turned her down, and was ridiculed even more for it. It was a lose-lose situation because if I had believed her and showed up and she didn't, I'd have been ridiculed for that as well.

One other time, a girl asked me if I was going to a dance and I told her no and she said "I guess I won't get to dance with you." That would have been a humiliation as well.

As for college, I was so turned off on the idea of dating or having a girlfriend I didn't find anyone there and besides, I couldn't make sense of those girls either so I stayed alone. I didn't date anyone until several years after college, but it doesn't bother me much.


same here. and you also saw what i said about the home coming thing. but yea. Im 17 now, but back in 8th grade girls treated me like s**t. well the pretty ones did. It seems that when girls are pretty they have a terrible personality.....(well probably to guys like me you and us on here) but to the other guys idk. when girls are unattractive they have a very beautiful heart. Some unattractive girls are mean but for the most part they are pretty sweet. It seems that when a girl gets a pretty face on her head, her heart and mind gets possessed by demons, but if you take away that beauty, then her heart and mind is beautiful.
Don't get me wrong, there are attractive girls that have accepted me but they are all older, and dont want to date a younger guy.

It seems that (and my older brother who doesn't have asperger's told me this as well) it is easier to impress an older girl than a younger girl or girl your age. i dont know whats up with that. But anyways these older girls are all about to go off to college anyways. I get cafeteria ladies hitting on me a lot, touching my face, saying happy valentine's day, letting me go when i dont have enough money, and saying "Ooh he's so shy!". but theres nothing I can do, I'm 1 yr too young, and i'm a student.
The girls that try to hit on me think I'm their age and they are usually less flakey. Do they do this, because they know that i cant make a move, and making a move would be "crossing the line"?

But then again, will it be like this when I actually do reach their age and I actually do attempt to make a move????



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22 Apr 2009, 1:11 am

OP, the older you get, the more mentally mature the girls will become. I don't know too much about the stereotypical college scene, but in my experience once girls leave high school, they get a stronger head on their shoulders (unless you hang out with the popular partying drinking crowd).

My advice to you? Be yourself man. You'll find a girl who appreciates your uniqueness. I know that sounds pretty cliche, but it's true (there's a reason cliche is cliche :))

Most importantly for you right now, as you get older you will realize that most of the girls that are worth your time will end up being intrigued by how you don't care much for social norms and popularity. When women start to search for a meaningful relationship (once they discover what that means -- something most high school girls AND boys don't have the slightest inkling of), they'll begin to value more important things like intelligence, curiosity, respect, among other things.



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26 Apr 2009, 1:48 am

high school girls.... they do not know what they want.. most of them anyways...

college, at least you will be around girls that want to be there.... and also meet girls that have more in common with you than in high school... the likelihood of anyways...



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26 Apr 2009, 5:10 am

jbinion wrote:

same here. and you also saw what i said about the home coming thing. but yea. Im 17 now, but back in 8th grade girls treated me like sh**. well the pretty ones did. It seems that when girls are pretty they have a terrible personality.....(well probably to guys like me you and us on here) but to the other guys idk. when girls are unattractive they have a very beautiful heart. Some unattractive girls are mean but for the most part they are pretty sweet. It seems that when a girl gets a pretty face on her head, her heart and mind gets possessed by demons, but if you take away that beauty, then her heart and mind is beautiful.


I think you might be confusing beauty with make-up. Generally, a good rule to follow is to avoid the made-up girls at school. Obviously they will look more "culturally beautiful" because their appearance is closer to cultural standards of beauty. Of course, this wouldn't apply in every single case (I knew some lovely girls at school who wore make-up), but in general I've found it's a good rule to follow (I had a hard time with girls at school, and I figured out pretty quick which were the ones to avoid).

Once you get older, late teens-early 20's, the make-up rule doesn't apply so much because more girls wear it to look presentable as their face ages.


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26 Apr 2009, 6:11 pm

desmonami wrote:
High school girls and boys are unfortunately immature. Cut them some slack. They are young. I am sure things will look up once you get to college as you will meet a whole range of people who more open minded.

I'm in college right now, and it's just like high school part 2. The girls there are just as stupid and hedonistic as the ones I went to high school with.