How to lower the concern of a friend I have?

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KagamineLen
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Joined: 7 Jun 2012
Age: 38
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,531

13 Aug 2017, 2:25 am

Well, concern is probably the wrong word. Codependence is probably the right word. We are in the same 12-step program. And for some reason, he took a special interest in my recovery..... I think so it could be a distraction from his own.

If I tell him I am playing video games for an evening, if I tell him I am going to the movies by myself, if I tell him I just bought a couple of new shiny BluRays, if I tell him I am found anything other than going to a meeting, he automatically assumes I am in full blown avoidance mode. Sometimes, he is correct about that. Often, that is not the case at all. And it is obnoxious at this point.

He is not a bad guy, but I do not know how to tell him that I already have a sponsor and I do not want to be his pet project without sounding like I want to hurt him. I want to still be his friend. But I need to learn how to set up my own boundaries.