Social Skills Help vs. Social Interaction

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Kiki1256
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09 Dec 2017, 9:52 am

I think the only true way to learn social skills is to actually interact. What do you think?



BTDT
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09 Dec 2017, 9:59 am

I think coaching is helpful, say from an NT spouse who knows exactly what sort of social clues you missed. As well as the NT context of the social situation.



Kiki1256
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09 Dec 2017, 10:04 am

BTDT wrote:
I think coaching is helpful, say from an NT spouse who knows exactly what sort of social clues you missed. As well as the NT context of the social situation.


True. It is helpful. What I was saying was that coaching alone without actually interacting probably doesn’t help. It’s like going to the gym and eating a gallon of ice cream afterwards.



kraftiekortie
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10 Dec 2017, 12:50 am

Actual, real-life experience is essential. Kiki is right.

It's like the difference between playing a driving video game and actually driving on the road.



shortfatbalduglyman
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10 Dec 2017, 9:09 am

Kraftie Kortie

When adequately simulated, a driving video game could be, in some ways, good practice for driving

But sooner or later you need to drive on the road

There are limits to simulations, games, and training

Actually I used to imagine what it would be like to simulations social interactions

But in real life, sooner or later, someone has the nerve to tell me I did or said something bad or wrong

And they respond by, saying and doing things, that might appear grotesquely disproportionate

:D


The best case scenario is that both parties go holding hands skipping off into the sunset

The worst case scenario is subject to the other parties' imagination :cry:

Besides, what about when someone else say or does something I find bad or wrong :?:




:cry: :cry: :evil: :cry: :cry: :cry:


:mrgreen:



BTDT
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10 Dec 2017, 9:49 am

The problem with Aspies is they often don't know the rules of the road. You aren't going to get very far if you insist on driving on the wrong side of the road in many American cities. Learning what is socially acceptable to say and not say before opening your mouth will help you go a lot farther.

NTs get hints via body language when they are veering off where they shouldn't. Aspies don't get these clues and blindly go where they shouldn't.

What is socially acceptable is constantly changing. It doesn't matter as much to NTs who get social clues and can adapt instantly.



Kiki1256
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11 Dec 2017, 9:09 pm

BTDT wrote:
The problem with Aspies is they often don't know the rules of the road. You aren't going to get very far if you insist on driving on the wrong side of the road in many American cities. Learning what is socially acceptable to say and not say before opening your mouth will help you go a lot farther.

NTs get hints via body language when they are veering off where they shouldn't. Aspies don't get these clues and blindly go where they shouldn't.

What is socially acceptable is constantly changing. It doesn't matter as much to NTs who get social clues and can adapt instantly.


That’s why it’s important to observe how people act.



League_Girl
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12 Dec 2017, 3:47 pm

Kiki1256 wrote:
I think the only true way to learn social skills is to actually interact. What do you think?


I don't know. I think you need to know what social cues are and what they look like to learn them. Some people do learn social skills by interacting while others need more help with it through therapy and being given social stories. Even children shows teach social skills too.

I also think you need to know what the rules are for social skills and for interacting and that starts with coaching or reading about them.


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I have a quilt of labels. I had a language disorder and a speech disorder. Then communication disorder NOS. My other diagnoses have been Language Processing disorder, dyspraxia, SPD, OCD, ADD, Asperger’s, anxiety disorder, adjustment disorder, anorexia nervosa. My mom’s labels of me are: eating disorder, anorexia, social anxiety, PTSD, just being sensitive and having the victim complex when I was a kid. And of course she says I’m normal and says the only thing I had as a child was language. Huh? I must have been a shitty person then and maybe a difficult child I was who had to be labeled because of incompetent school staff and mean kids who didn’t accept differences and because I was trying to be “normal.” :/

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