Is it acceptable to ignore a stranger talking to you?

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I don't mean ignoring someone when a conversation has started (I know that's rude) but I mean not responding to a comment from a stranger that's meant to start a conversation.

An incident occurred recently: I was on the bus home from my part-time work shift (an morning-afternoon one that ended at 2pm). Another bus from the same service to the same route had broken down and new passengers came on after we stopped. A man came on and chose to sit on the seat next to me and commented about the bus being changed. I nodded politely but didn't make any further comments.

Later on in the journey he stated more conversation by asking me what I was reading. I also had headphones in for an MP3 player (although the battery had run out of charge but I kept the phones in because I felt more secure in a way since it shut off some sounds from the outside helping my sensory problems and also socially it might prevent people from pushing me into conversations) and since I keep the music down low no-one would tell if I wasn't listen to music or if I was.

I panicked because I feared being rude if I ignored him and so tried to briefly answer by saying what topic the book was on. However he continued asking about the book and then the conversation turned to him trying to ask me out and then harassing me when I wasn't interested.

So as you see this is a slightly more serious consequence of getting into conversations with random people in public and I'd rather not get into trouble like that again.

Is it OK not to react to people trying to chat to you if you don't feel that comfortable?

If you didn't want to talk in the first place a good way to deter conversation is to leave the headphones in and just stare out the window. If they say something to you just ignore them and act like you didn't hear it. If you don't look at someone they won't acknowledge you.

I once stood by an electronic holding the door for about 20 minutes talking to my friend. No one said thank you or anything. I started looking at people as they walked out of the door and every person I looked at said thank you.

Just smile at them stupidly and pretend you're deaf or that you don't speak the local language.

If someone you don't even know thinks you're rude because you don't feel like talking to them that's their problem, not yours. One time I was out walking and a teen girl on her front doorstep asked "What's your name?" I didn't like the way she asked it and thought it was none of her business, so I said nothing and kept walking". She asked "what's your name? What's your name, what's your name, what's your name?" Until I was gone. Someone who does that is very likely someone with nothing better to do but harass me, or worse.

If you're not afraid of confrontations, just tell them you don't want to talk and you are trying to (insert what you are doing). Some people just don't get the hint when you have on head phones or playing your game or reading so they need you to be upfront. I have noticed those who don't get the hint tend to come off as creepy and they tend to talk about their personal problems. I wonder if they all have an ASD or some sort of mental problem. They usually don't get the hints or they just don't care.

Thanks for good comments everyone

In response to the OP, I would say that the other person was rather rude. You were clearly doing your own thing and they interrupted you many times.

You don't need to talk to someone you don't want to; it is acceptable to ignore them.

I think it is rude, but yes, it is culturally acceptable. I would argue however that just when we are preoccupied with what we think is important, we can often miss things. Perhaps a friendship that leads to love, or perhaps a business contact. Then again, maybe I need to quit drinking the pacifist beet .

There is such a thing as being shy. If I tried to make conversation with a stranger (which I hardly ever do) and they just smile and nod, I wouldn't get offended. I'll just think ''OK he or she might be shy, better shut up otherwise I might creep them out.'' The man who sat next to you was probably an extra friendly man, and sometimes extra friendly people do make a few attempts to make conversation. At least you gave some sort of reaction, instead of just blatantly ignoring him. But I know what you mean by analyzing it a bit, because it's what I often do.

I couple of weeks ago I was on a crowded bus, and an elderly woman sat next to me. I had my MP3 music in and was relaxing with it on, and I heard the woman say something to me. Luckily I can read tone of voice, so I didn't hear the words but heard the type of tone she said it in so I knew it meant she was making a friendly comment, so I turned to her and said, ''pardon?'' She said it again in the same tone (just something about it being too hot on the bus) and I just agreed (although I wasn't hot, but agreed anyway). Then she said something else when the bus got into the town, so I had to turn to her again and say, ''pardon?'' I wasn't annoyed. I was more worried of her getting annoyed, like getting off thinking, ''bloody youngsters, always got earphones in, so unsociable!''

But what made me feel better is that at least someone is bothering to talk to me. So I can't look that unapproachable or unpredictable or whatever you like to call those types of unintentional expressions that push friendly people away from you. Just think of it as a compliment.

If he's a stranger and you don't want to talk to him, why do you care what he thinks?

In such cases, if I'm sitting next to the window and the man is sitting next to me beside the aisle, I pretend it's my stop and ask to be let out, then sit in a very central place. Forget politeness rules in such a case - mind your safety first. A man forcing conversation on you when you're visibly not interested could be also carrying a weapon with which he could force you to keep silent and descend the bus with him (kidnapping). At worst, it's very dangerous. At best, it's someone looking for trouble. Make it YOUR rule (and forget what society says): with strangers, it's all about safety first, and only then about politeness. An appendix to the rule: when it's about a stranger MAN and you're a woman, it's all about safety, and NONE about politeness.

I learned this from my own experience, no one helped me on this one. My parents used to protect the strangers instead of their little daughter. Once I was walking down the street with my mother and a man called me to come up to him to tell him the time. I of course ignored him and went on walking with my mom, to which she protested that I'd been rude. When I asked her if she were a man would she ask a girl in the street to come up to her to tell her the time, she had nothing to say to that.

Regarding answering the man something offensive: only if you're surrounded by 10 armed Mossad guys, otherwise don't risk it.

When you mature, you won't need to ask others for their opinion on how you should act.
You're an individual. Decide for yourself what you feel you should do in the moment.