"scoring" real friends

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I'm almost 27 years old, and I am a drug addict. For the past 10+ years over 90% of my social interactions have been drug deals/etc..

Being an addict, acquiring/using drugs (as well as helping others to do so) has, unfortunately, consumed a large portion of my time for my entire adult life, and I have had very little practice honing what little social skills I dohave (outside of orchestrating said deals..) Even though I've felt used at times, it's bittersweet; shallow, task oriented human interaction is better than none at all.

As I have gotten older (and have been dating a sober chick) I have become less and less "involved" in the drug trade. However, it still seems like 90% of the time anyone calls me its to see if I can help them score. Nowadays I'll usually tell them i can't help, but on days when I'm feeling especially lonely/wanting to feel accepted by someone who might otherwise not talk to me, I'll assist them in hopes that they'll see me as a friend of sorts. Ultimately this ends up making me feel even shittier about myself, as they never want to hang out once they've procured whatever they came for. s**t's sh***y.

What the f**k can I do to make friends? In the past i have had the best luck hanging out with peers with similar hobbies (downhill skating, snowboarding, hiking, camping, etc) as we could get together to participate in said hobby. Unfortunately, I happen to live in the central valley at the moment, so meeting friends that are into the same s**t is sorta difficult- especially when I don't live close enough to do these things on a daily basis/etc...

I have been thinking about getting into hang gliding- does anyone here fly?? I know there are clubs that get together to fly/camp/etc, and that seems right up my alley?? (although, once again, not a flat land activity.. sigh..)

I really need help, guys. Just being in the position where i need to ask for help on how to make real friends at this age makes me want to step out in front of a freight train; I just want to feel loved/accepted and to be "a part of" and I always figured i would have that by this point in my life.

Now, I realize that I will most likely never have one of those "best friend" kind of bonds, and I've come to [begrudgingly] accept it. I just want to have people in my life that call me to ACTUALLY CHILL, and to learn how to ask somebody if they want to hang out WITHOUT prefacing said proposal with "rolled a fatty, let's toke it."

Like I said, casual friendships predicated on shared interests would be fine for now (definitely more comfortable) even though a close friendship is something I've always wanted- how the f**k do I go about meeting said new friends??



TL;DR - how do I make friendships that aren't predicated on the acquisition of drugs? everyone acts chummy when they need to score, then aren't heard from again until the next time around; its BS..

First step: quit drugs. As hard as I know it'll be, people will be more interested in you. No one likes a junkie wasting their life away. Apologies if I sounded harsh, but that's the reality of it.

I wouldn't expect the pointing out of shortcomings OP is already trying to overcome to be very helpful to be honest. I'm sure quitting drugs has crossed his mind, going by how hard he is trying to disassociate with his drug connections.

Changing his social environment as he is trying to do (and what he happens to be asking his advice on) is more effective than trying to quit in a drug-fuelled social circle. So it might be worth praising him for taking that kind of initiative at least.

I hope this doesn't end up sounding stupid but, have you thought about attending an AA or NA meeting? You will meet non-judgmental people who share a common goal with you - to be clean and sober. There are groups in just about every locality and meetings every day of the week. No guarantee that you will 'score friends' but you will most certainly find a group of people who will welcome you without judging you. And you may very well find a friend or two to hang out with. Go to an open meeting just to see if you are ready to do the work to stay clean. You don't have to talk or interact with anyone if you don't want to. Best of luck to you

While I'm not into hang gliding, it sounds like you are ...
so you should follow your dreams and go do it.

You also mention ...downhill skating, snowboarding, hiking, camping, etc ...
but that you don't live close enough to do that everyday.
Well, to my mind, once a week would be a great start.
Or even once a month ... just as long as you have something to look forward to.

I wish you all the best,
and believe you can succeed.

I have actually been *relatively* clean for the past 4 years (only weed and psychedelics) but since I don't have many "normal" friends, I went from seeing 5-10 people every day to being essentially isolated. I actually had more interaction when I *was* a junkie, because I had to hustle in order to say well. Now that I'm clean and don't need to constantly make moves, I'm free to isolate all day..

When I was first getting off the needle I used to frequent NA regularly, and it actually got to the point where I would share hugs and high fives when I walked in the door. I went to a meeting the other night and saw a few acquaintances/got a few numbers, which was nice.. The main problem with trying to make friends with NA people outside of the problem is that I don't necessarily WANT to be *completely* sober- although I am determined to stay away from pills/powders/needles, i still enjoy getting stoned, and psychedelics/psychedelic therapy are interests of mine that I don't plan on giving up any time soon.. ***basically, i don't want friendships predicated upon NOT using drugs any more than i want friendships predicated upon them..**


as far as getting up the mountain once or twice a month to snowboard/etc, that's something I'm gonna make a point to get done.. possibly gonna try to get a job as a lift operator to "kill two birds with one stone"