Worried about online friend who hasn't responded in a week
11 Feb 2018, 1:35 pm
justRob wrote:
Ha no problem, I'm glad you liked my advice! It's a tough position you're in, but there are tried and true ways to take the best care of yourself. It sounds like your friend is taking care of herself.... the possibilities are limitless as to why she dropped off completely and changed her contact info, but one thing you can count on is, she was struggling with something and she this to take care of her own (perceived) needs.
I say perceived, because we all get mixed up about what's best for ourselves, and we find ourselves chasing short term easy fixes and solutions over long term stuff. It's easier to shut someone out (especially a distance relationship) sometimes than explain complex things we are feeling and dealing with and don't fully understand ourselves.... true for NTs and aspies/auties alike.
Sounds like you have a real need for closure. I don't blame you, when you have an emotional loss, but don't understand why, it's not fair to leave you wondering and less able to learn from this experience, than if you had answers.
But at the end of the day, life's not fair, and life seldom gives us the real explanations for bad things that happen to us. And likely as not, your friend doesn't fully get her own feelings that caused her to shut you out. If she did, she would probably have let you know, but maybe she knows that no explanation she can give will be simple and clear and not leave you wanting more, so it's easier just to not deal with it.
Of course, she could probably grow in some ways by trying, even if she failed to communicate anything coherent amd left yoy both disappointed. But she's not ready for this right now, maybe it's maturity, or maybe it's other stressors in her life that haven't left her the bandwidth to take this on right now.
My advice: Learn what you can about this about yourself and other people (there's a lot there, even without her answers). Learn to read and respect her wishes for herself (to be left alone right now) while at the same time stating (not forcing, not even pressuring, because she deserves to have full control over her own destiny) your own wishes and perspective... send a simple message like "Hey, I really miss you since you stopped writing back, and I wish I knew why. I want to respect whatever decision you've made to stop communicating, but also let you know that I would love to hear from you again in any capacity, whether to talk or even if it's just to let me know you've moved on from our friendship. Take care."
Basically, any message that says that you respect her decision to stop talking, and lets her know you are there if she wants to reach out again. After that, there's no more value in checking on her, and it's 100% on you to kick the habit of checking on her, and move on in your own life, taking care of your own needs.
I say perceived, because we all get mixed up about what's best for ourselves, and we find ourselves chasing short term easy fixes and solutions over long term stuff. It's easier to shut someone out (especially a distance relationship) sometimes than explain complex things we are feeling and dealing with and don't fully understand ourselves.... true for NTs and aspies/auties alike.
Sounds like you have a real need for closure. I don't blame you, when you have an emotional loss, but don't understand why, it's not fair to leave you wondering and less able to learn from this experience, than if you had answers.
But at the end of the day, life's not fair, and life seldom gives us the real explanations for bad things that happen to us. And likely as not, your friend doesn't fully get her own feelings that caused her to shut you out. If she did, she would probably have let you know, but maybe she knows that no explanation she can give will be simple and clear and not leave you wanting more, so it's easier just to not deal with it.
Of course, she could probably grow in some ways by trying, even if she failed to communicate anything coherent amd left yoy both disappointed. But she's not ready for this right now, maybe it's maturity, or maybe it's other stressors in her life that haven't left her the bandwidth to take this on right now.
My advice: Learn what you can about this about yourself and other people (there's a lot there, even without her answers). Learn to read and respect her wishes for herself (to be left alone right now) while at the same time stating (not forcing, not even pressuring, because she deserves to have full control over her own destiny) your own wishes and perspective... send a simple message like "Hey, I really miss you since you stopped writing back, and I wish I knew why. I want to respect whatever decision you've made to stop communicating, but also let you know that I would love to hear from you again in any capacity, whether to talk or even if it's just to let me know you've moved on from our friendship. Take care."
Basically, any message that says that you respect her decision to stop talking, and lets her know you are there if she wants to reach out again. After that, there's no more value in checking on her, and it's 100% on you to kick the habit of checking on her, and move on in your own life, taking care of your own needs.
When she started talking to me less, she said it was nothing against me & we're still friends. That was a month ago. The last thing she read was something regarding me asking if she was able to send my Christmas present to the correct address. The fact that she didn't respond, & the fact it's February & I still didn't recieve it, makes me think she's hiding something. It makes me a bit mad that I sent her something out of thought. But I'm not mad at that. I'm mad that she comes off to me as a liar & probably really doesn't like me all that much, due to the fact that she's still in contact with her other online friends.
As far as feelings, etc. She mentions not having much emotion for anything.
I think I am just going to go the route of forgetting her thought that's difficult as I have a good memory. I do think she is a bit immature in this regard. I've sent countless messages asking how she's doing, etc. Through various methods. She hasn't unfriended me off facebook, etc. but I'm unsure how to tell if I'm blocked.
It's difficult to trust making friends anymore as things like this happened before, even with school people. Though never after a deeper connection like with the girl in question.
Again, thanks for responding.
12 Feb 2018, 1:46 pm
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
12 Feb 2018, 6:23 pm
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
14 Feb 2018, 2:26 pm
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
As it would. I found the internet didn’t agree with me. People do it all the time. This person doesn’t seem considerate, from what you said, her behaviour is strange.
14 Feb 2018, 2:42 pm
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
As it would. I found the internet didn’t agree with me. People do it all the time. This person doesn’t seem considerate, from what you said, her behaviour is strange.
I even cried a bit the past few nights. That's how much it hurt. And I was planning on sending her something for valentines day. I'd rather find someone who will show equal care to me as I do for them. I highly doubt that'll ever happen as I tend to always be ignored & people quickly find that something is off with me.
She is indeed self centered & inconsiderate. A bit of a liar as well.
15 Feb 2018, 12:36 pm
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
As it would. I found the internet didn’t agree with me. People do it all the time. This person doesn’t seem considerate, from what you said, her behaviour is strange.
I even cried a bit the past few nights. That's how much it hurt. And I was planning on sending her something for valentines day. I'd rather find someone who will show equal care to me as I do for them. I highly doubt that'll ever happen as I tend to always be ignored & people quickly find that something is off with me.
She is indeed self centered & inconsiderate. A bit of a liar as well.
I know how you feel, I'm also ignored and people think something is off with me as well. I wonder if it might be an over-dependence of friendship that might be the problem? I am someone who cares a great deal about my friends too.
_________________
Autism is a disorder not a personality trait!
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference."
15 Feb 2018, 1:04 pm
AquaineBay wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
As it would. I found the internet didn’t agree with me. People do it all the time. This person doesn’t seem considerate, from what you said, her behaviour is strange.
I even cried a bit the past few nights. That's how much it hurt. And I was planning on sending her something for valentines day. I'd rather find someone who will show equal care to me as I do for them. I highly doubt that'll ever happen as I tend to always be ignored & people quickly find that something is off with me.
She is indeed self centered & inconsiderate. A bit of a liar as well.
I know how you feel, I'm also ignored and people think something is off with me as well. I wonder if it might be an over-dependence of friendship that might be the problem? I am someone who cares a great deal about my friends too.
Yeah, apparently showing care is a problem. I seem to just get too emotionally attached to people I like.
I remember a post you had on here a few days ago before they were deleted and with some of the descriptions you said about yourself such as typing longer messages, etc. sound a bit like what I do.
Upon her removing me from facebook, I haven't made any attempt to contact her. I still have her on skype. If she ever wants to settle this, she knows where to find me. Though i don't think things will be as good as before.
In order to forget about her, I deleted everything relating to her, pictures, videos, letters, etc. Including a great picture i worked very hard to draw for her.
15 Feb 2018, 1:33 pm
super boy 44 wrote:
AquaineBay wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
As it would. I found the internet didn’t agree with me. People do it all the time. This person doesn’t seem considerate, from what you said, her behaviour is strange.
I even cried a bit the past few nights. That's how much it hurt. And I was planning on sending her something for valentines day. I'd rather find someone who will show equal care to me as I do for them. I highly doubt that'll ever happen as I tend to always be ignored & people quickly find that something is off with me.
She is indeed self centered & inconsiderate. A bit of a liar as well.
I know how you feel, I'm also ignored and people think something is off with me as well. I wonder if it might be an over-dependence of friendship that might be the problem? I am someone who cares a great deal about my friends too.
Yeah, apparently showing care is a problem. I seem to just get too emotionally attached to people I like.
I remember a post you had on here a few days ago before they were deleted and with some of the descriptions you said about yourself such as typing longer messages, etc. sound a bit like what I do.
Upon her removing me from facebook, I haven't made any attempt to contact her. I still have her on skype. If she ever wants to settle this, she knows where to find me. Though i don't think things will be as good as before.
In order to forget about her, I deleted everything relating to her, pictures, videos, letters, etc. Including a great picture i worked very hard to draw for her.
I'm terribly sorry about that, I guess in the middle of being hurt, angry, and really confused I might have let it get the better of me.
I would delete messages and conversations of past friends but I have to use those as a reference to mistakes and points where I succeeded in socializing.
For me getting emotionally attached is a problem as well. I don't think it's really that big of a problem, it's that for me since I have a hard time regulating emotions I might go a bit too far...
_________________
Autism is a disorder not a personality trait!
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference."
15 Feb 2018, 2:28 pm
AquaineBay wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
AquaineBay wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
hale_bopp wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I’m so sorry. That never stops hurting. Try not to beat yourself up, it really is her, not you. That’s not a way to treat someone you’ve been close friends with.
Time will help. In the meantime it’s fair to acknowledge your hurt.
It’s very very unlikely you’ve done anything at all.
I guess as you can’t change other people, and they do some truly awful things.
Upon finding out she had a new number & discord account through a forum, it really messed my head up, I couldn't think straight. Then yesterday removing me. I barely slept the last few days. I know that's probably overreacting but it sucked.
If she had the time to talk to other online friends, she had time to talk to me.
What she did further lowered my trust in people. It was already low.
As it would. I found the internet didn’t agree with me. People do it all the time. This person doesn’t seem considerate, from what you said, her behaviour is strange.
I even cried a bit the past few nights. That's how much it hurt. And I was planning on sending her something for valentines day. I'd rather find someone who will show equal care to me as I do for them. I highly doubt that'll ever happen as I tend to always be ignored & people quickly find that something is off with me.
She is indeed self centered & inconsiderate. A bit of a liar as well.
I know how you feel, I'm also ignored and people think something is off with me as well. I wonder if it might be an over-dependence of friendship that might be the problem? I am someone who cares a great deal about my friends too.
Yeah, apparently showing care is a problem. I seem to just get too emotionally attached to people I like.
I remember a post you had on here a few days ago before they were deleted and with some of the descriptions you said about yourself such as typing longer messages, etc. sound a bit like what I do.
Upon her removing me from facebook, I haven't made any attempt to contact her. I still have her on skype. If she ever wants to settle this, she knows where to find me. Though i don't think things will be as good as before.
In order to forget about her, I deleted everything relating to her, pictures, videos, letters, etc. Including a great picture i worked very hard to draw for her.
I'm terribly sorry about that, I guess in the middle of being hurt, angry, and really confused I might have let it get the better of me.
I would delete messages and conversations of past friends but I have to use those as a reference to mistakes and points where I succeeded in socializing.
For me getting emotionally attached is a problem as well. I don't think it's really that big of a problem, it's that for me since I have a hard time regulating emotions I might go a bit too far...
Yeah, as what tends to happen when really angry you know? I'm always told to be more open. My dad tells me to have "better interests" & that I'll find someone else. The same old stuff people are told. Why should I have to change for people to like me? I do feel like I have limited & weird interests at times.
I've deleted my texts with her, seeing as I deleted her number cause she changed it anyway. I do still have our discord interactions & even some picture proof that she lies about being busy, which kinda started me questioning her constantly & ramped up my anxiety. Which I feel like that alone ended our friendship.
A few months ago, She sent me 2 screenshots of a Role play with another online guy friend to show me some examples as we were going to RP that night (Nothing dirty, it was video game related, the guy is high school aged anyway so it would have been illegal if it was dirty). I then noticed the times & dates, they happened to be during times she told me she'd be "busy" & she'll "talk later" as she told me that morning.
IIRC, that didn't happen. She didn't talk to me until the next day (on both occasions) when I sent her a usual good morning message, as it would typically happen since she would never really start conversations.
That left me a bit hurt as I already was feeling terrible when she didnt talk to me that night before knowing she was really talking to someone else, wondering whether she *really* likes talking to me or that kid, etc.
I would constantly monitor whenever she got online, etc. Even asking her about it. Her excuse was that she leaves discord open on her phone so it makes it look like she is online as she assumes you don't get messages if it's closed.
What it instead looked like to me was she was having a back & forth conversation as she would get online for a bit as if she was typing, then get offline, then get back online to respond, etc. While not to my messages she won't until she got on her pc.
Long story short, I should have brought up those screenshots before to settle this with her.
I'm sorry that was long.
15 Feb 2018, 3:22 pm
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I am really sorry she decided to drop out of your life without letting you the truth which I feel was very rude of her. I also think it was rude of her to unfriend you on facebook. However, it sounds like she wasn't a friend in the first place and especially if:
1. She can't be honest with you
2. If she suddenly turns her nose at your texts
There are tons of other places where you can meet and correspond with people online like in WrongPlanet. Also, are there any Telegram or Discord groups you could join? I have met lots of people online who I connected with.
15 Feb 2018, 6:36 pm
super boy 44 wrote:
Yeah, as what tends to happen when really angry you know? I'm always told to be more open. My dad tells me to have "better interests" & that I'll find someone else. The same old stuff people are told. Why should I have to change for people to like me? I do feel like I have limited & weird interests at times.
I've deleted my texts with her, seeing as I deleted her number cause she changed it anyway. I do still have our discord interactions & even some picture proof that she lies about being busy, which kinda started me questioning her constantly & ramped up my anxiety. Which I feel like that alone ended our friendship.
A few months ago, She sent me 2 screenshots of a Role play with another online guy friend to show me some examples as we were going to RP that night (Nothing dirty, it was video game related, the guy is high school aged anyway so it would have been illegal if it was dirty). I then noticed the times & dates, they happened to be during times she told me she'd be "busy" & she'll "talk later" as she told me that morning.
IIRC, that didn't happen. She didn't talk to me until the next day (on both occasions) when I sent her a usual good morning message, as it would typically happen since she would never really start conversations.
That left me a bit hurt as I already was feeling terrible when she didnt talk to me that night before knowing she was really talking to someone else, wondering whether she *really* likes talking to me or that kid, etc.
I would constantly monitor whenever she got online, etc. Even asking her about it. Her excuse was that she leaves discord open on her phone so it makes it look like she is online as she assumes you don't get messages if it's closed.
What it instead looked like to me was she was having a back & forth conversation as she would get online for a bit as if she was typing, then get offline, then get back online to respond, etc. While not to my messages she won't until she got on her pc.
Long story short, I should have brought up those screenshots before to settle this with her.
I'm sorry that was long.
I've deleted my texts with her, seeing as I deleted her number cause she changed it anyway. I do still have our discord interactions & even some picture proof that she lies about being busy, which kinda started me questioning her constantly & ramped up my anxiety. Which I feel like that alone ended our friendship.
A few months ago, She sent me 2 screenshots of a Role play with another online guy friend to show me some examples as we were going to RP that night (Nothing dirty, it was video game related, the guy is high school aged anyway so it would have been illegal if it was dirty). I then noticed the times & dates, they happened to be during times she told me she'd be "busy" & she'll "talk later" as she told me that morning.
IIRC, that didn't happen. She didn't talk to me until the next day (on both occasions) when I sent her a usual good morning message, as it would typically happen since she would never really start conversations.
That left me a bit hurt as I already was feeling terrible when she didnt talk to me that night before knowing she was really talking to someone else, wondering whether she *really* likes talking to me or that kid, etc.
I would constantly monitor whenever she got online, etc. Even asking her about it. Her excuse was that she leaves discord open on her phone so it makes it look like she is online as she assumes you don't get messages if it's closed.
What it instead looked like to me was she was having a back & forth conversation as she would get online for a bit as if she was typing, then get offline, then get back online to respond, etc. While not to my messages she won't until she got on her pc.
Long story short, I should have brought up those screenshots before to settle this with her.
I'm sorry that was long.
The excuse about discord could be true. I leave browsers open all the time on my phone and until recently I didn't know that if you did that anything you were doing was technically still going on(I'm not tech savvy what so ever)! I might have left pages open like on Wrongplanet still signed in thinking that when I minimize it, It wouldn't say I was online or anything after that point.
I started doing some of the same things you did myself when my anxiety went up. When I think about it now it would come across as creepy and weird but at the time I was doing it I didn't think about it. For me I might have obsessed over losing a friend I made, since it's so hard for me to make them and keep them, I get scared and nervous when ever I feel like I'm losing a friend.
I would've asked one of my family members for help on situations like that but I wanted to handle it myself so I could feel that I don't need help with everything in my life.
Maybe we both tried advancing a friendship too fast and screwed up. I can't even tell where you draw the line from friend, to acquaintance, to best friend, to being in love to...you get the point. That might be why I can call someone a friend or me saying being in love so easily as I don't truly understand those phrases and can't feel it out or whatever people do to tell these things apart.
_________________
Autism is a disorder not a personality trait!
"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can,
and Wisdom to know the difference."
15 Feb 2018, 7:22 pm
Quote:
The excuse about discord could be true. I leave browsers open all the time on my phone and until recently I didn't know that if you did that anything you were doing was technically still going on(I'm not tech savvy what so ever)! I might have left pages open like on Wrongplanet still signed in thinking that when I minimize it, It wouldn't say I was online or anything after that point.
I started doing some of the same things you did myself when my anxiety went up. When I think about it now it would come across as creepy and weird but at the time I was doing it I didn't think about it. For me I might have obsessed over losing a friend I made, since it's so hard for me to make them and keep them, I get scared and nervous when ever I feel like I'm losing a friend.
I would've asked one of my family members for help on situations like that but I wanted to handle it myself so I could feel that I don't need help with everything in my life.
Maybe we both tried advancing a friendship too fast and screwed up. I can't even tell where you draw the line from friend, to acquaintance, to best friend, to being in love to...you get the point. That might be why I can call someone a friend or me saying being in love so easily as I don't truly understand those phrases and can't feel it out or whatever people do to tell these things apart.
I started doing some of the same things you did myself when my anxiety went up. When I think about it now it would come across as creepy and weird but at the time I was doing it I didn't think about it. For me I might have obsessed over losing a friend I made, since it's so hard for me to make them and keep them, I get scared and nervous when ever I feel like I'm losing a friend.
I would've asked one of my family members for help on situations like that but I wanted to handle it myself so I could feel that I don't need help with everything in my life.
Maybe we both tried advancing a friendship too fast and screwed up. I can't even tell where you draw the line from friend, to acquaintance, to best friend, to being in love to...you get the point. That might be why I can call someone a friend or me saying being in love so easily as I don't truly understand those phrases and can't feel it out or whatever people do to tell these things apart.
Yeah but the thing is that she constantly didn't keep her promise of talking to me later & being busy as evident by the screenshots she sent me of her chatting with the other guy during times she says she's "busy" & not getting back to me unless I send a new message. Therefore making it seem like she doesn't care to talk to me very much over her other friends. That is what caused my anxiety. Which then led me to check the always online thing.
With her though she would usually be offline, then check messages. The thing i noticed was what seems like back & forth texting. Aka, going online, then offline, and back on, when she told me she was "busy"
I am very tech savvy so I know how all that works. Discord is very buggy in delivering messages. On the mobile app, you won't receive notifications if you are actively chatting with someone. This is something I constantly told her & would always tell her to check if she received messages from me but it never seemed to get through to her. And unlike other apps, it didn't have a number indicating amount of messages.
It just proved that she didn't really care to put much effort into our relationship.
I also can't tell the difference between acquaintence, friend, etc. I told her I like her about a month or so into our chatting. Though, we knew what each other looked like by then, etc. She reacted positively. I do feel like I tried to quickly with her, but I feel like if I didn't, she'll lose interest or something.
Last edited by super boy 44 on 15 Feb 2018, 10:29 pm, edited 1 time in total.
15 Feb 2018, 8:39 pm
Summer_Twilight wrote:
super boy 44 wrote:
UPDATE - She removed me on facebook a little while ago. I feel terrible right now.
I am really sorry she decided to drop out of your life without letting you the truth which I feel was very rude of her. I also think it was rude of her to unfriend you on facebook. However, it sounds like she wasn't a friend in the first place and especially if:
1. She can't be honest with you
2. If she suddenly turns her nose at your texts
There are tons of other places where you can meet and correspond with people online like in WrongPlanet. Also, are there any Telegram or Discord groups you could join? I have met lots of people online who I connected with.
Yeah and she changed her number & discord account, possibly to avoid me. The last message she read from me was on facebook last month and it was me asking if she still had the correct address & shipped her gift she said she got for me. It was the second time I've asked and received no response to it. The 2nd time she just stopped talking to me altogether. I only asked a valid question. I sent her a gift & a letter because she felt special to me. I guess not.
What is telegram? and I only ever got on discord just to chat with her as she suggested it to me, so I dont have anyone else there or groups, etc, besides my brother.
I do go to school but only a few days out the week as I primarily take online courses. I'm usually stuck home due to a disability that prevents me from driving & therefore never leave unless I have to in which I'll take an uber. I am in a school club that doesn't meet often.
16 Feb 2018, 10:48 am
Ouch! Then she really isn't worthy of you and especially if you spent money on her like that by sending her a gift. Really, you never met her in person so and only knew her online. For all we know, she could be one of those people who are fickle and are only there because they want something. Believe me, you don't want that as a friend or a girlfriend.
Telegram is another chat application that is similar to Discord
Also, I don't drive either but are there any busses in the area that you could take? If you, you could try getting involved with Meet-up.com and find events related to your interests and meet people there. Believe me, there are lots of people out there who will treat you a lot better than the way she did.
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