"Unfollowing" or unfriending close friends on social media

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Sorry it's long but wondering if anyone else does this or if you think it's acceptable...

I don't use social media much at all, but I do some. I need it for some work related groups, and I also have some friends who only communicate using those platforms. The nature of my work is meeting a lot of new people in my field all the time and it's important to make the contacts.

Browsing the platforms give me a lot of anxiety, however, especially related to jealousy and FOMO(fear of missing out). It makes me upset seeing how i'm failing in comparison, no one else is lonely like me, etc, even if the posts often ARE just for show. Usually I experience the jealousy when I don't know the person well enough to really feel happy for them, since so many are just acquaintances.

I think it could be a form of social overstimulation - I think humans aren't meant to know THAT much about THAT many different people. It just wouldn't be possible in real life. There literally isn't time for THAT many relationships.Anyway, i found it helpful to "unfollow" people. This way, I don't have to see stuff that I feel isn't really my business, but I can keep them as a contact.

However, I have started unfollowing friends that I am closer with as well. For the most part, it's just one friend that I've done this with, someone I used to be REAALLLY close with. I don't think she has ill will towards me at all and she still wants me to be her friend in a much more casual way, but it really hurts me to know that we're not what we used to be, and it's hard for me to understand how to handle it. I get really upset seeing her post important life things and knowing she doesn't call me to tell me about them anymore. I also feel sad seeing her with "new best friends".

Anyway, I'm a lot more at peace not having to face those things in her posts. This way, I only have to know the things she chooses to tell me personally, which isn't much, but it's a far more natural way of communication and it feels right! However, if she were to find out that I have done this, she would probably be really confused and angered/upset/offended. She is very successful in her field and somewhat famous, so her social media is a big part of her life. She knows I hardly use social media, so a lack of comment/liking is probably interpreted as me not logging on.

Should I be trying to be involved in her social media life? I feel like maybe I'm being the bad friend by not trying to reach her where she's at and be a part of her life the way it is. But my anxiety is definitely a LOT lower with less social media, and especially with less of seeing her posts. If/when I do see her or talk personally, I am interested about her life and happy to listen to everything, although she is sometimes confused that I don't know certain information that she posted because she assumes everyone knows those things.

The only way I can do social media is to unfollow everybody on my contact list except a couple of close family members. I also limit who I friend - I currently have 35 Facebook "friends" and two of those, are deceased!

If you absolutely have to use social media for work networking, you might consider an account for employment and an account for your private life. For each of these, you could make up personal rules such as, only check in once a day, or do not forward IMs to your cell phone.

A couple of years ago I unfollowed everyone by leaving all social media, but I can understand your situation of needing it for work. There are some people I have lost touch with that I could contact through Facebook, so I consider rejoining for that.

It seems to me that one should have no obligation to participate in one's friends' social media lives. But I suppose that every friendship is different, and what is important depends on the people involved.

People put their best image online. Social media is not a true accurate reflection of their life. People posting touched up photoshopped pics of themselves a lot younger, posting travel snaps and exciting stuff to make them appear far more interesting what they are in real life. I found it was best to delete social media accounts because I rarely used them and I forgot got the passwords.