People assume I'm stupid

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OK first of all I'm one of those people who could do fine without friends.
I'm not sure if this is because most people are less well-read than I am or if it's because I look young or both. This keeps happening but this one's a latest example.
I'm in a book club which I like because we read a book of our choice then talk about it. This woman who didn't know me read Hard Times. (I actually get the impression she didn't and was figuring out books to talk about based on her degree.)
When I said I wasn't much of a fan of Dickens (I don't enjoy pre-modernist literature except Shakespeare and some of the female Victorians like the Brontës and George Eliot) she said 'it isn't one to start on, I recommend Oliver Twist'.
Um... I'm 30. The first time I read Dickens I was 11, I started on A Christmas Carol . It isn't hard. (It isn't Joyce which I do read for pleasure.) I understand that NT children might not read Dickens for fun but... we did him at school when I was 13...
I'm not sure if she thinks I'm under 13 - but then why wouldn't I be at school during the day? Thinks I'm thick or if NTs really are that thick that they never read Dickens. (by the way not calling you thick if you're from outside of England and never did that makes sense but they really pushed Dickens and Shakespeare on us at school).
I keep having these experiences in which people explain stuff to me I learnt at school as if it's novel information... I don't know if it's because NTs are thick or if they assume I'm young or assume I'm thick.
It's a walking group and I find makeup and heels uncomfortable anyway so I'm not slathering myself in makeup and wearing heels for the sake of a walk. Other women in the group get by fine in jeans and jumpers so I wear the same thing.

Sometimes it is necessary to make assumptions

Some assumptions are bound to be wrong

Please do not take it personally or overreact

When someone estimates a number (such as IQ score), the guess is either too high, equal, or too low

You can't guarantee just the first two

Intelligence is not a choice and intellectual disabilities are not a felony

A lot of precious lil "people" treat me like I am much younger and less educated than I am





An instructor asked me if I had a high school diploma or knew what a ninety degree angle was

That was over ten years ago and I still find it emotionally disturbing


But I have taken first five calculus courses and flunked Structural engineering, fourth year undergrad

Not flunked fourth grade math


As a double whammy, the aikido instructor is a structural engineer


But whatever

Yeah, intellectual disabilities aren't a crime. I get that as someone with a social one and a mental one. And someone who was assumed stupid for years because of her handwriting and who can't read graphs/do mental maths etc.
What I do find annoying though is the vast amount of non-disabled NT people who don't try to stretch themselves to their natural capabilities.
Also you've reminded me of something, STEM versus the arts. Some amazing polymaths can do both at high levels. Thomas Pynchon for one. The rest of us struggle in one field - I find STEM hard but I still like to learn about it.
And then NTs assume everyone else wants to be lazy too. It's not naturally stupid/learning difficulties, more like purposefully stupid and that's what I have a problem with. I like to stretch myself.
NTs I know really encourage stupidity with STEM stuff, especially in females. They don't like that I'm trying to self-teach about science and watch science documentaries and get back into that world which school scared me out of. But even men get labelled geeks for knowing too much science. (Have you come across this?)
If someone is at a book club, I assume they read books, at least the sort of books that were already taught to all of us at school. They're entitled to like them or not or find them hard or not but I assume a base level of knowledge. If someone says 'I might try Dickens again' I don't say 'it's not a good one to start on' because obviously they've tried before (especially since all English schools teach Dickens).
I think the number she underestimated was my age but I'd have to be under 13 to never have read Dickens and far younger than that never to have seen the many adaptations of Oliver Twist and A Christmas Carol which are on TV at this time of year.

Looking young is a common problem with people with autism. Until you reach middle age, and look 15 years younger!

Yeah I know. The bane of my life is that I look 15.
I don't even want to look younger when I'm old. All the advantages I can see of that is still being able to pick up men which I don't want to do.
This book club is full of people who are 50 and older (I seem to be a magnet to them). They treat anyone under 50 like a moron. The woman who leads the group did it to someone who looks her age who's about my age as well.
And 15 year olds aren't stupid or uneducated or childish. They've not been to uni but still, they're doing GCSEs or whatever it is these days. I don't talk to 15 year olds but if I did like if I had a niece who was 15, I wouldn't talk to her like they talk to us.

Happens to me all the time.
Sometimes, they're right.

Some people drop dead, due to reasons that are not their fault, before middle age.

The rate that your appearance ages, is not necessarily constant

I have noticed that people will get mad at you and punish you for having autism if they don't quite know what's the big deal

I do understand that it gets exhausting because it's constant and occurs over and over, but i think the best way to respond is to calmly and politely defend yourself and prove the person wrong.

In your example, you would just directly tell her, (without saying it in a mean way,) actually, I read that book when I was 10 and have read about XX amount of his books in my lifetime. State the facts and let her be proven wrong in front of others. You will probably start to change people's minds about you and in turn, hopefully help them understand that they should take caution with their judgements.