Wearing sloppy clothes

Post Reply New Topic

I don't see the problem, if they are clean, what is so nauseating about that?

i tend to disagree.
aspergers may have something to do with the problem, but its no excuse for not getting his rear end moving. his girlfriend has s severe problem with it, so if he has the least bit of feelings for her, he should be as concerned as she is about finding a compromise both can live with.
id even daresay that due to the often-quoted obsessiveness and cleanliness-of-thought-thing, he should be more willing than the average bloke to do so.

When I was in my teens and early 20s it was common for my crowd to wear sloppy looking jeans and t shirts. By about age 23 I was no longer comfortable with that and changed how i dressed. I still wear fairly casual clothes most of the time, but the day a pair of my jeans get a hole in them I throw them away. If I have a button shirt, t shirt or sweatshirt that gets a large noticeable stain then I throw it away or make the light t shirts into gun cleaning rags. If I am taking a woman on a casual date ( rare these days ) then I wear dockers or new clean wranglers with a button shirt or nice sweater with cowboy boots shined. I reserve suits for real formal occasions like weddings and funerals.

I see that I have gotten mixed responses.

I still firmly believe that it's not at all shallow to want your partner to wear better clothes....at least in public. I feel it's important to have at least some pride in how you look and wearing sloppy clothes all the time is icky and won't get you many boyfriends/girlfriends. Sure, you may have friends....but it won't let others see your attractiveness.

spot on, dazzlekitty. as i said previously: having a great and lovable mind isnt an excuse for not getting the rest up to par. aspergers isnt, either.

side note: is your nickname somehow related to the paint scheme that was applied to military ships in the past: dazzlepaint?

I don't find DazzleKitty's concerns to be shallow because she's talking about her boyfriend and physical attraction is a component of romantic relationships, like it or not.

My only idea is to try telling him that these articles of clothing make you feel less attracted to him. I would state it in a simple cause -> effect kind of way so it doesn't sound like you're telling him what to do. It sounds like he may eventually have to choose between the relationship and his favorite pants. If so, I think it would be good to tell him soon so he has plenty of time to think it over.

Oh, I also like wearing a few baggy shirts and shorts as well. Luckily I live in tropical Singapore. But yeah, I admit that I got too used to the shirts and shorts that I will get nasty if I wear any other thing... Sigh.

Hmm i feel somewhat concerned here. When it comes to clothes i just don't want to wear something that's too flashy or popular, so i often end up wearing the same clothes over n over again (they go through the washing machine once per week though, so they look ok...). But yeah, maybe it's some sort of attachment to the clothes, i feel like even though my shoes which i've had for 4 years or more are kinda trashed, even though the soles are not sticking like they used to (inside and out), they're still pretty comfy, the only thing i've noticed is that they let water in now, which is bad, hence need for unused shoes that have been bought 2 or 3 years ago..

go to H&M

(online "www hm com" - chose whatever language you want)

step through the spring door.

---> chose | Dressing Room (to the top left)

grab your boyfriend and tell him to pick out what he likes in the MEN section.

(he should know our friend, the Internet...)

(They have these airy soft brown woolen pants and some new dark blue ones that both look good and stay up... without a belt. Comfy right? Clothing needs to "breathe")

Let him wear what he wants to wear. If he wants to wear what he considers comfy, then let him wear it. If you are embarrassed of the fact he wears ugly clothing, then its obvious you are the problem. You shouldn't care about how he looks, or what he wears. You should care about whether or not you truly like his personality, the thing that really matters.

I agree --- please let mear anything i like...

I, like most aspies am also sensitive to certain fabrics and like my comfy clothes. But I also like to look nice. There are plenty of comfy clothes that also look good. Try getting him to wear a nice baggy hoodie or something. Nothing is more comfy to me than my big orange hoodie. :D (I'm actually wearing it now) If he absolutely won't wear jeans, maybe you can get him to wear some nice corduroy pants or something? That's not really the most stylish thing in the world, but it's a step up from holey sweats at least.

Last edited by Fidget on 08 Mar 2009, 1:31 am, edited 2 times in total.

I disagree. He should at least attempt to look presentable. It's fine to have your own unique look, but if your look makes you look like a homeless person, that's not such a good thing.

I only wear baggy clothes if I stay at home all day.

I've adjusted to wearing tight or slightly loose clothes. My mum got really surprised when I started to wear dresses. It was a miracle to her, lol.
Maybe tell your boyfriend to just try on clothes in a store so he can see if he likes them or not. Say 'do it for me' lol.
My last boyfriend never commented on my clothes, unless he liked what I wore, but I tried to make myself look nice for him and for myself.
I actually am a bit judgmental of what people wear. A bit weird for an aspie to be that way.

It doesn't matter if he looks presentable, it only matters if he likes what he's wearing. If he is OK looking like a homeless man, then let him dress like that.

Since you are a couple he should be ok with taking some
consideration when it comes to clothes, dirty clothes is
one thing- thats a bad habbit and little more- but as for
shabby looking clothes, i use shabby clothes myself all
the time at home, clean but shabby. I think comfort, i`m
alone so no one else cares so i just wear whatever feels
good. This becomes a habbit very fast and i started drifting
over to wearing home-clothes when going out, i just was so
used to it and "who cares" i guess i was thinking. But its just
no good, i think, its no good walking around looking like a
bum in public, i felt more and more like a bum in a way.
So i thought about it and found that if i just found some
comfy clothes that also looks ok, the problem would be
much smaller. It sounds to me like maybe he`s stuck
in a habbit, try changing clothes, look for someting that
he likes that looks ok also, it should be possible. I have
clothes i jump into when going out and then i peal them
off and find some home-clothes when i come home, all
of them are comfy, the going-out clothes just looks better
and more fresh. And he has the advantage of a girlfriend
to help with the picking of clothes i would kill for that..
well, maybe not kill, but i do love the way some girls just
buy clothes so easily, my last ex was a master of shopping
and i loved it so much. Good luck. I know alot of people
prefer comfy clothes and at the same time those comfy
clothes very othen happen to look shabby, but with todays
selection of clothing i do belive its possible to combine the
two. At home, who cares, but its nice to just be decent looking
when going out to the store or girlfriends parents or whatever.