Wearing sloppy clothes

Post Reply New Topic

Have you ever lived in Pennsylvania, here in the US? It is so odd, because I used to work with a aspie girl that looks exactly like you, she could be your twin. She would never wear dresses.....
It is just so odd because every time I read your posts, she seems just like you

I use to always dress badly. I had no sence of style, then I worked in a clothing store for a few years. With the help of working in that store, learning the current styles, and reading GQ magazine , I now dress much better

Steal his clothes and replace them with nice looking soft cotton ones.

I used to dress really badly as a kid. I can't believe my parents let me go to school dressed like that. In fact I can't believe they bought me those clothes in the first place!

Now as an adult I'm still a bad dresser... BUT I have some amazing friends who will quietly take me to one side and tell me that my shirt looks terrible, or that my shoes don't coordinate properly, etc etc. Most NT people would be offended by that, but I'm really grateful for it. (It helps that I'm gay and my gay friends have the "Queer Eye" - they know what looks good.)

If the aspie in your life is dressing like a slob, first tell them. They might not be aware that they are doing anything wrong.
Second, offer constructive criticism. There's no point telling someone to "smarten up" if they don't have a clue where to begin. Take them shopping for some nice clothes, or raid their wardrobe and suggest some good combinations.
Third, explain why dressing well is important. If you dress well you will feel more confident when you interact with people outside the house. If you dress well, others will treat you with more respect. Together it's a pretty big ego boost, all for just wearing a smart outfit.

Apparently, i dress this badly that my brother told me that what i'm wearing looks made for a younger person tonight... <.<

i was very much the same way...but I became sorta obsessed with vintage clothes at some point, and eventually by my late teens developed a tolerable aesthetic that i maintain to this day...but I still can't really pass for a "normal" adult.
I did have people take me aside and tell me I was doing things wrong when I was younger. I usually found it offensive, but it eventually sunk in. I was severely clueless well into my teens.

I have a hunch that guys might be more stubborn to suggestions.

I have a similar problem with my main partner. He has long tangled hair that he refuses to brush so it is constantly scraggly and knotted. He wears the same dirty, paint-spattered clothes for days on end. I am quite privy to how dirty he allows his clothes to get, and i wish that he would take better care of himself. I am not dependent upon others to help maintain my hygiene and I wish that i did not have to feel somewhat responsible for his...but he somehow feels that i should be...
I don't care about how he looks really....I do wish he would brush his hair though...and wash his hands...

Anywhoo...I would like to add that he is not an Aspie persay...

My other partner is much more of an Aspie, and he is very meticulous with his clothes and keeps them all neatly organized...He works in a shop and is a very tidy dresser, and when he is in his casual clothes they are always very well coordinated...but he is also a very feminine person, so that might have something to do with it.

Get him to try some cargo trousers. They are much comfier, smarter tha jeans I think too, and look nice with a good shirt (I'm sure an NT girl can work out what shirt goes with the trousers) Personally I like to wear a split shirt with buttons all the way down. They'd probably look ok with smart t-shirts.

i knew a girl who almost became my girlfriend, but one main thing that prevented it was my dress sense.

i wear comfortable and soft clothes (mainly tee shirts and tracksuit pants).
my clothes are all about 2 years old and they are always clean, but they are stretched out of shape, and some tee shirts have small holes in them (not enough to see skin (i do not wear them outside if they are that far gone)).
my shoes are old and most of my tracksuit pants are too long as they have stretched. this means i walk on the bottoms of my pants legs (the cuffs) and over time, the cuffs have worn into a horrible tangled mess which flap around my feet as i walk.

i will wear good clothes when i go to work (jeans and long sleeve business shirt and brown polished shoes), but i do not need to wear them anywhere else.

this girl was like a peacock who was dazzled by appearance, and her mood was always improved when i met her after work when i was well dressed. but as for my private life, she told me she could never fully respect me because i do not respect myself and it was an unattractive aspect of my personality.

well i respect myself enough never to bow to the visual whims of peacocks, so she was wrong.
she always plastered her face with makeup and smelled like an industrial detergent factory with her perfume, and she seemed toxic to me.
i never really liked her, and i was relieved when she went after a disagreement about me refusing buying a new stylish wardrobe.

i can not imagine he thinks much of your attitude to fashion and appearances.

I believe it is an ingrained part of human nature to respond positively to someone who is wearing their clothes well. I don't think it automatically occurs to everyone to dress well though..

NO WAY! I would immediately leave a person who does this. That would be a complete breach of trust.

I have no idea whether it was mentioned already, but can it be possible that he wears this kind of clothing to show that he has not assimilated to those who gave him hell earlier? That he has not succumbed to the well-dressed bullies. For me, it subconsciously was the reason why I used to dress horrible.

For those who like it loose and comfy i can recommend
this for around the house and in private. On a hot summer
day i just strip down and jump into one of these, its so
comfy And i live in farmer-land so it doesn`t stick
out if i take a quick trip to the store without changing
This might be my nr. 1 when it comes to comfort and
clothes, its just one easy shell, jump into it and you`re
ready to go. Availabile in a variety of colors and fabrics
at low prices and it can easily be customized

It's not shallow at all unless looks are the only thing you care about. There's nothing wrong with taking care of your looks. Looking like a bum is just as repulsive as picking your nose. We might as well call people for being repulsed by that, cuz it's only the inside that matters right? God, I hate corny cliches...

I understand your boyfriend might find certain types of clothing uncomfortable, but that's no excuse to look like a bum. I wear cotton pants underneath my jeans, so that's something you could recommend to him. And like others said, take him shopping and choose clothes that are stylish or clean, but comfortable for him.

Thrift stores are a good place to look because the clothes are inexpensive, there are unique choices, the clothes are already worn and softened up.

I really can't wear clothes that are NOT from the thrift store. New clothes really bother me, and I hate the prices.

Maybe you can gently help your boyfriend develop an aesthetic that he can live with. Going thrifting is a fun activity the two o you can do together.

maybe you should dress really "sloppy" for a few weeks or months (only when you're with him, of course) and see if he notices or comments. if he doesn't like your new found casual-ness, strike a bargain to both upgrade a bit.

Go shopping with him and buy him some decent clothes
(whether he likes it or not)
Now you only have to get him to wear them.
That's simplle too, gather up all his crap clothes and throw them in the dustbin or set them
on fire (preferably when he is not in them). Job done.

Next problem!!

That is not a nice way to resolve the issue though... The guy might actually like his clothes y'know. I know i love mine and feel really sad when i have to get rid of it after i've worn the thing so much...