An interesting thing I learned about Eye-Contact

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I don't do much eye-contact and I've decided long ago to stop trying, basically disregarded it as irrelevant as I mostly deal with people briefly- so they probably don't get to notice it, and if they do I don't care anyway because I won't be seeing them again.

but lately I found out something very interesting that made me reconsider that attitude so I thought I'd share it with you guys- maybe it helps someone.

anyway, the thing is- I never really had a problem with shyness/speaking out, but very, very often, after I had said something, I would get the "uncomfortable silences" and stares. I could never figure out why that was, and thought that it was probably something I had said.

but some days ago one person said something that made me realise what have been the problem all along- she said that she never knows when I'm finished talking because I never look up at her when I'm done. so the awkward silences and stares were actually people waiting for me to continue! (this was a major revelation for me)

so anyway, I started testing it- and it really works! at least so far it has. the trick is to look at the person you speak to after you had finished and blink (the blink part is very important, I think it's like a signal for them to speak).

I still can't get over the fact that I hadn't noticed this in my 26 years of life. I guess I might be mistaken (I don't remember any mention of this in any of the body-language theory books I read) but so far I had several conversations with people and no weird silences or looks whatsoever!

^^ Wow, thank you indeedy for your help Anna. ^^ I certainly knew not that blinking was so important. I believe I often attempt to look at the individual with whom I am happily speaking however find this difficult and ften simply glance at them. ^^ However, I often find that looking at the mouth of the individual certainly helps.

^^I agree that it does help, especially if there is a lot of background noise. I read somewhere though that for NTs it's a signal of sexual interest, so I stopped doing it. I mostly stare somewhere above their heads and to the left :p