Overwhelmingly stressed due to lack of solitude?

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ecky
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23 Jul 2008, 4:42 am

I apologize in advance, because I'm sure there are many similar threads floating around here, but how long does it take you to become overwhelmingly stressed due to lack of solitude, or too many people? Some days I can take almost normal levels of social interaction, but other days even an hour with a few people is enough to make me want to cry.



vandire
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23 Jul 2008, 6:04 am

It varies a lot for me as well - anything from about 10 minutes through to about 4 hours. It also depends on a lot of other factors, like how well I know the people I'm with, what kind of environment we're in, whether there is some specific purpose or activity. I find it a lot easier if I know what we're doing, how we're going to accomplish it, why, when etc and can focus on that as compared to say, idle chit-chat with music blaring and a bunch of strangers. Even then just finding a quiet spot, or leaving for 10 minutes to just walk around, and going back often helps me tremendously.



RustyShackleford
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23 Jul 2008, 6:08 am

Varies with mood like yourself.

Sometimes I can stand people's company continuously for days on end with the right people. Other times it takes an hour or so before I start getting cranky.

Other times I get stressed due to too much solitude. I can never really predict what is going to happen so I just have to try to plan dynamically. Planning ahead has never been my strong point though.



MissConstrue
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23 Jul 2008, 9:44 am

Too much solitude and too many people make me go crazy but I guess it all depends.

I used to live with a house full of people and it was very disfunctional that I sometimes would sleep in my car or outside if the weather was OK. :oops:

Now I live with too much solitude which isn't easy to deal with.


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Autisvic
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23 Jul 2008, 9:55 am

I was trapped in a van with five others for
twenty-nine days. My friends' bands were
touring across the USA and I was the roadie.

It was not too easy to just slip away and
find a place to be by myself. We were moving
constantly. I ended up having one meltdown.
Someone insisted on following me around with
a camera, and I just lost it. People were getting
grouchy as it was, and that episode just made
the rest of the trip more tense. If we stopped
anywhere for longer than 2 hours I would take
the opportunity to go for a walk by myself.

2 days after returning, I packed my stuff and got
on a plane to Europe with 3 others for 3 weeks.
I was more mentally prepared for this one, and I
frequently broke with the rest of the group to go
off on my own little adventures while they slept.



vandire
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23 Jul 2008, 9:59 am

Autisvic wrote:
I was trapped in a van with five others for
twenty-nine days. My friends' bands were
touring across the USA and I was the roadie.


Wow. 8O

I think if I was in that situation my mind would break. I'm impressed you got through it so well.



cip
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23 Jul 2008, 10:08 am

I find it's easier to be around others if you have a barrier of some kind. People probably won't talk to you if you're reading (or pretending to) read a book.
My hubby and I are both off of work right now (he's on vacation and I'm unemployed) and he expects me to sit with the family constantly. it was driving me nuts till I took up beading while sitting with them. That and the liberal use of ear plugs is a beautiful thing. I can still hear everyone, it just creates a buffer zone that allows me to relax.



marieclaire
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23 Jul 2008, 1:33 pm

it depends - at work I rely on my breaks for a short time out for peace and solitude, I hate it when kind people chase me up to share their break with me.
At home I live in a quiet house we most of us seem to like our own space, so seeking solitude is not a problem. Two hours with people is long enough, then I need to recoup.



Autisvic
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23 Jul 2008, 2:49 pm

vandire wrote:
Autisvic wrote:
I was trapped in a van with five others for
twenty-nine days. My friends' bands were
touring across the USA and I was the roadie.


Wow. 8O

I think if I was in that situation my mind would break. I'm impressed you got through it so well.


Sometimes it's very easy for me to be in the same room
with others physically by being on Mars mentally.
I would have preferred to have been completely alone, but
tuning others out works well enough in a pinch. It's kind of
like feeling rabidly hungry one or two hours before you know
you are going to eat a huge meal; nibble off a piece of solace
to stem the hunger off until you can fully satisfy yourself.



ecky
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23 Jul 2008, 10:31 pm

Zoning out works for me as well. Sometimes I sit in the middle of a big group of people with a book for hours. Sometimes I simply don't talk to anyone.



cip
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23 Jul 2008, 11:36 pm

My favorite way to be alone is to go to the mall and just kind of shadow-walk around. Nobody even looks at you and it's a great way to meditate.
Italian saying,"The best way to be alone is in a room full of strangers." In college I had four guys for roommates that I didn't know, just for that reason. They didn't bug me, I didn't bug them. It worked nicely.
8)



kitty2
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25 Jul 2008, 2:48 am

It varies with me too. I know I need breaks, be on my own, rest. I can get really knackered and stressed after social events. how long I can take it depends on the actual situation, the people and how I am at that moment.
As a kid I made my mum and dad go home (started crying) or just randomly took off myself when it was too much for me, or sometimes I just fell asleep when it was too much and I couldn't get out of the situation, even during walking and I kept on walking too, but asleep.



moonlitshadows
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25 Jul 2008, 10:35 am

This applies to me a lot on some online places I go to- I can't talk to more than one or two people at once, and in real life, I have plenty of friends, but I can usually only talk to a few at a time. Besides, it's usually just good enough to know they're there.

I also love being on the computer because I can isolate myself from the world.



Jael
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25 Jul 2008, 7:31 pm

ecky wrote:
I apologize in advance, because I'm sure there are many similar threads floating around here, but how long does it take you to become overwhelmingly stressed due to lack of solitude, or too many people? Some days I can take almost normal levels of social interaction, but other days even an hour with a few people is enough to make me want to cry.


Best case: about a day
Worst case: about an hour



Jael
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25 Jul 2008, 7:33 pm

Autisvic wrote:
I was trapped in a van with five others for twenty-nine days.


If that had been me, the other five would have ganged up on me and thrown me out of the van! Seriously, I'd be awful to deal with by day 29. 8O



Brunny
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26 Jul 2008, 7:01 pm

ecky wrote:
Zoning out works for me as well. Sometimes I sit in the middle of a big group of people with a book for hours. Sometimes I simply don't talk to anyone.


That's good in a crowd but I sometimes get really stressed when I am just sitting on my own in the house messing about on the computer or whatever and just ONE person comes round to see me. If it's 2 or more people I can just let my mind go where it wants but with one person there is huge pressure to pay attention to them. Leaves me feeling totally exhausted and drained by the time they finally go. In fact, once the doorbell rings and it is just 1 person there basically that is my evening gone.