Feel like a 12 year old with respect to gay relationships

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That sounds weird, I know, so let me try to explain. I only recently came to the conclusion and accepted that I am gay. I realized that although I'd had crushes on girls previously, that had not happened for a long time and in any case I wasn't sexually attracted to them at all. On the other hand, I do find guys very attractive.

Anyway, I've never really been through that phase where you are all awkward and laugh at people for being in a relationship, like people would do in middle school or elementary school. Or rather, that's never happened to me about heterosexual relationships. However, now that I've finally realized that I'm attracted to guys, the thought of a homosexual relationship makes me feel really embarrassed. I like the thought of being in a relationship with a guy, but find it embarrassing at the same time. This really just hit me tonight when I was watching Glee and there was the usual flirting going on between Curt and Blaine (who are both gay and kind of like each other, for any of you who don't watch the show). Although I find the idea of them getting together to be, I don't know...cute...at the same time I feel embarrassed watching it, like how elementary school kids get all embarrassed with romance in movies.

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I've had a homophobic upbringing--I've known my uncle is gay, even before I knew what that meant. And I've seen him in a relationship with his partner and don't find that awkward. Mind you, I haven't seen the since I released I'm gay myself. I don't know, maybe since I never went through this phase and have only now realized I'm gay I just have to go through it before I'm ready for a relationship (not that I'm actively looking for one). Ironic, considering most of the time my maturity level has been about 10 years ahead of my peers. Now, after I've finally realized something about who I am, I have to face being emotionally immature.

Not weird at all.
I think emotional maturity runs on a different timescale to everything else, and that's probably more true for males than females - it seems to lag more for males. You're still very young and at around the time when it starts making more sense; the embarrassments will fade.
I realised when I was around 12 years old that my attractions were different; the embarrassments and difficulties similar to yours arrived later when I came to understand what everyone else thought about 'that sort of thing'.

What can I say? Your time will come, as it did with me, where suddenly it doesn't matter and a relationship just happens - almost before you realise it has.

I knew that I was gay when I was 12, but in the early 80's, attending a boys' school, there was no opportunity for me to learn the social skills that my straight peers were learning.

I was 16 when I went to university, and it was not until I was 17 that I had a boyfriend--and even then there was little opportunity to "date."

I do not think that your experience is in any way unusual--and you should take some comfort from the fact that the men that you will be interested in (and who will be interested in you) are probably in very much the same circumstances as you are.

Thanks everyone! That actually does make me feel a lot better. I guess I'm just so used to being more mature than my peers that it's quite a shock to me now that I finally have to deal with feeling immature emotionally.