PLEASE READ\im not in a good mood

Post Reply New Topic

As im sure you all know lately there have been problems.there are wise guys out there who have figured out how to alienate everyone they dont like,but still stay in the rules technicaly.let me explain we are watching and as soon as you do break the rules you wont get much lieniency when you do brake the rules.also let me remind you, people have gone to jail for cyber bullying.the last time i pointed this out i was called lulzy or something,whatever that means.but lulzy or not it is true.also if some more experienced posters tell you your being rude,i suggest that you listen

am i on this list?

Have you used a PM?

lol this is a pm matter.

why would you think im upset with you,on the other post i was saying the other guy was rude to you.i was sticking up for you.after a tough week i just wanted people to know we are cutting down on overly aggressive posters.it wasnt meant at anyone in particular.you cool with me,aspie 48

ok its just i know i am tough on mods at times.

most of the people this applied to have been banned or suspended.we just wanted people to know not to follow in there footsteps

In the haven, it's bullying. In politics, religion, and news related discussions, it's called can't stand the heat, get out of the fire.

thats how i though orignaly to.unfortunatley things got out of hand.i still wouldnt compare this to the haven.there was a lot of bad s$#* that went down that you dont know about

John, would agree that depends on what "it" is? WP rules don't rule out "attacking an opinion, belief or philosophy." I think that's what you mean by "it," but "attacking the person making the comment..." is specifically ruled out. Problems tend to happen because the difference between the two can be a little foggy sometimes. One person might say something in response to a poster, intended as attacking or critiquing the belief, and the original poster may feel the comments are intended personally.

Personally, I think once a user specifically says they feel the comments are personal, one should stop. Is there such a thing as "taking things too personally?" Sure there is, but does it really matter? What one person says is taking things to personally, another may not. Moderators, like it or not, sometimes do have to make judgment calls on things like that. I don't know for certain how they come to their decisions. We're all human, and so are they, and I don't believe 100% objectivity is even possible.

But one thing is pretty clear. Once someone says they feel offended, one cannot argue that they are not. Sure, we could argue over whether or not they should be, but we cannot argue over whether someone else feels slighted or offended. If you told me you were offended personally by something I said, it would be wrong of me to deny you feel that way. I might not think you should be, but to simply say so, and tell you you shouldn't feel the way you do, is not as productive as simply acknowledging how you feel, and to STOP doing whatever I did to make you feel that way.

If I were to simply reject your feeling of offense as invalid, and continue doing whatever it was I did to offend you, THAT is bullying. Even if what I originally said that offended you was not intended to offend, and was only meant to challenge your belief, once you specifically point out that you feel offended, and are taking it personally, if I then continue to say it, denying the validity of your feeling offended, what I am doing then becomes a personal attack.

There is though, another side to this coin. There are some who would play the "personal offense" card, just to get you to shut up. Though that type of behavior isn't covered in WP rules specifically, I would agree that isn't right either.

Moderators kind of have to watch for patterns of behavior. I've spent some time watching the WP forum now and again for the past couple of years and seen that moderators have to deal with both situations. For the most part what I have seen is that they by and large wait quite a while for patterns to emerge before outright suspension or banning. Reports usually come to them from the "offended." If enough reports come in from multiple users, about one user's offenses, and that pattern continues too long, the offender is banned. The other situation though, I don't pretend to know much about here on WP, but I have moderated on other forums in the past, so I know this does happen. That is the situation where one user reports several other users of offenses, yet few if any others are reporting those users. That, of course, is usually someone who is either controlling or overly sensitive.

Every forum is meant to be available to every user. Whether the Haven, or any other forum. I wish the WP rules outlined a "No means no" policy, or better yet, "Stop means stop." In general, even though the rules don't spell it out, when users here do make specific requests to other users to leave them alone, those requests are taken seriously by the moderators. If more users would simply request to be left alone by other users they are bothered by, and all users respected that request, there'd be a hell of a lot less bickering, back biting and generally childish behavior, and the general level of intelligent discussion would be higher.