Further proof that I don't play well with others

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See this sort of (insert a wide variety of words here that I can't use on this board but are represented by things like **&%^@) is the reason I just think it is easier to try not to be social . . .

First, you have to know that the way my workarea is set up we can sit in a variety of different places - usually I sit in the back away from other people - however, the other day everyone asked why I did that - I can't disclose about AS at work so I figured I would go and sit with everyone else in the front today . . . this was a mistake . . .

I'm a dispatcher and at work the other day I entered a call slightly wrong - no one died - I mean I just should have done it a little differently and I got told how to do it right by my supervisor - no big deal . . .
Well, someone else on my shift got a similar call and did something different - so when she got off the call I said 'Why did you do it that way?' - specifically she gave me a phone number that I could have told this person to call instead of even entering them in my system . . .
Then, later, I ran into my supervisor - and I thought 'You know, maybe she doesn't know about this phone number, becasue she didn't tell me about it' - so I said 'you know that call I messed up the other day? Well, Lindsey got one like it and she told me that I could give them this phone number . . .' - this would have been followed by 'is that the right thing to do?' if I hadn't been interupted by a tyrade of statements about how I didn't need to discuss that sort of thing with other employees and if I have a problem with the way I'm told to do something I should come right back to the source and talk to my supervisor about it . . .
No doubt, Lindsey will also get in trouble and that wasn't my intent at all . . .

Remember, I was just trying to verify information and give someone information they may not have had . . .

At any rate, I'll be staying in the back from now on . . . as I already knew I simply do not play well with others since I can't figure out the rules of the game . . .

I did get a small amout of satisfaction when the supervisor who gave me all the trouble got chewed out by her boss when I was on my way out , but I felt a little guilty for feeling good about that . . .

hi, animallover.

i know what you mean! i'd like a list of all the different ways something can be done (like answering the phone to a client, etc.), so i know where i am. this, unfortunately, is impossible, apparently.

i used to deal with it by sort of shrugging inside, thinking everyone else was stupid, and if they couldn't understand what i needed to know, then i'd just have to work it out by myself. then i got older, and realised that i was supposed to be like everyone else, so i dealt with it by feeling absolutely pants, and beating myself up.

now, i do a combnation of the two - i try and work it out, ask if i have to and then - the most important thing - i deal with how i feel, cos i can't change anyone else, nor can i change my feelings (they just happen, unfortunately), but i can change how i deal with the feelings. sometimes, i
act them out in my head - having a conversation with, for example, a supervisor, where i'm really horrible to them. i reckon that it's okay to do that if it expresses how i feel, as long as i don't do it in real life.

and i watch and listen all the time, to work out what everyone else is doing (have to be discreet, though), although that is very tiring.

the feeling of "getting it wrong" is awful, and it happens every day. so that's where i'm going to concentrate from now on - dealing with how i feel. i'm trying to train myself to believe that it doesn't always matter that much to me, and be able to laugh at my "mistakes". it's a shame that other people who don't understand won't be able to do that, but, like i say, if they can't then i will.

i'm glad your supervisor got an ear-bashing. don't feel guilty about feeling better because she did, if it makes you feel better - nobody's a saint and it sounds quite natural to be pleased, to me!

V.

Your situation reminds me of when I was young when I use to do stuff along those lines as a kid. I would get in trouble for something, and if someone one else would do the same thing, and I'd be the first one in the classroom to see it to it that they got in trouble too, or if someone had some kind of restriction placed on them, I had to make sure the teachers held true to their words since to me it was "only fair".

I am baffled. I do not understand what you did wrong. I do that sort of thing all the time! Perhaps that is why I do not get along better at my workplace, but I still can't comprehend what the problem was. Consistency and clarity matter a LOT to me at the job. If there seems to be some inconsistency I will quiz everyone in sight until the issue has been resolved in my mind.

This same exact situation happens to me over and over again it has gotten to the point that I do avoid anything like those situation...sux tho

What confuses me is that people say that at work you shouldn't get all your personal stuff confused with work issues - and if people really did that then situations like this wouldn't happen because they would realize that I'm just trying to get information and not get their personal issues like self-agrandizement tied up in it . . .

I know NTs are not able to do this, but they should quit saying that at work you should 'leave all your personal issues outside the door' and other stupid stuff because they are the ones who can't do it . . .

I, myself, am trying just to be a happy tool at work - and to do that I need to know the rules, that is it . . .

I happen to agree fully, the last thing I ever want at work is to discuss personal matters with others.

And then on break I have to hear about it. Some of it amusing, most of it NOT amusing, gross, or just odd.

Animallover, I sympathize with you. My work experience (as a programmer) is such that the biggest obstacle are egos, not lack of money or programming issues. Machines don't have an ego to bruise or feelings to hurt.

That's why I always brought a book with me to work to read during my lunch break, when I worked at a craft store. I really couldn't concentrate on reading in that atmosphere, but it gave me a good reason to ignore everyone else. I do the same with my headphones in studio, now.

Unfortunately, this can cause more of a separation between myself and others, and I rarely get to know people. But it's easier for me that way.

I don't usually hurt others feelings or bruise their egos (that I'm aware of, anyway), so much as I just don't know how to respond, and either stay quiet, or think of something really stupid and irrelevant to say. I think it's better for both parties, most of the time, if I just remain uninvolved. When I do talk to people, I feel bad, because I usually can't offer them the reciprocity that they are looking for, and its awkward for both of us.

I tend to do the same thing - we have a TV in our break room and I like to watch certian shows on my break and can just ignore everyone else - but people do talk in there and I always wonder what they hope to gain by sharing the fact that they didn't get to watch a particular TV show or something with everyone . . .
And, of course, when they ask things like 'What did you do on your days off?' and my answer is 'Well, let's see, I slept a lot, played with my cats, played with my rats, cleaned my rat cages, mowed, worked out, and then watched Jaws six times in a row and spent about 9 hours online . . . oh, and I obcessed about my leaky washer and what I would do if my air conditioner went out for around 8 or 9 hours, too, but I fell asleep during part of that so maybe it was only 6 hours ' that tends to make them nervous . . .
And even things I'm excited about - like getting a couple of weekdays off so I can schedule an appointment to go get my Irlen lenses - require such a large amount of explanation that could be bad (i.e. I have this problem with white backgrounds looking like the surface of the sun - no, really, that doesn't effect my ability to enter data - really)
(By the way, it doesn't - I think it will be much easier for me when I get my lenses, but I'm so used to it now . . . driving is another matter altogether)
But you see the problem . . .

I really have the same problem with people I like to be around as, generally, I just like to be around them for their energy - I mean, this is one of those catlike characteristics, but I like to just sit in a room with people and just be with them - not touch them or any of that intimate nonsence - just to feel their energy . . . this is an instant thing - when I met both of my favorite people to be around I just felt safe around them - which is SOOO rare for me . . .
I got to spend six hours helping a couple of the people I like to be around with a garage sale and I just loved it - because I could be with them but we had something to do so we didn't have to do the talking thing . . .
One of them gave me a ticket to a movie tonight and I love movies . . .

This is one of the reasons that I have largely chosen to be antisocial - it just isn't worth the effort it takes for me to be social like other people . . .

By the way, this is totally unrelated, but I got put on evening shift so I get to sleep at night like a normal person starting tonight!

i strive on social intereactions w/ people i know. it's my life. i used to be really quiet but then i realized i was completely miserable, lonely and depressed so i had counseling and stuff and i learned how to make friends. i'll always bring music just in case. or maybe knitting (it's an evergrowing trend over here cuz its so cold) and that's a pretty good convo starter.

but if you do better refraining from people, then good for you, it's good you've realized it. i'd just like to advise you in the fact that getting out there and talking to people can really help. even if you don't know the person, approaching them and having a little small talk can make a huge difference in a person's day as well as yours, for the better.