What are appealing traits of autistic people?

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KitLily
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14 Oct 2023, 9:34 am

BillyTree wrote:
Many autistic people have the "No BS. No lies. Just getting the job done"-attitude. I find that very appealing.


I must try and cultivate that. I'm naturally like that but I'm usually surrounded by women who don't like that attitude. They have their own language and innuendos and customs which are a mystery to me. Usually centred around weight, diet and food, I don't give a f**k about any of that.


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babybird
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14 Oct 2023, 9:40 am

Cool, funny, critical thinkers, good looking, friendly, accepting, stylish, honest, smart, hard working, focused. I mean the list goes on.

I'm actually giving traits I notice in my daughter in the above list.


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KitLily
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14 Oct 2023, 9:52 am

babybird wrote:
Cool, funny, critical thinkers, good looking, friendly, accepting, stylish, honest, smart, hard working, focused. I mean the list goes on.

I'm actually giving traits I notice in my daughter in the above list.


That is very encouraging, thanks! Which one of those should I lean into, hm...

I'm not cool. I'm quite funny and a critical thinking. Apparently I'm good looking but that does NOT endear me to people. I've been put off being friendly. I'm accepting. I'm not stylish. I'm honest to a fault. I'm smart (if you mean clever?) but that does NOT endear me to people. I'm not particularly hardworking. I'm focused but that does NOT endear me to people.


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babybird
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14 Oct 2023, 9:58 am

I think you're pretty cool

Yes I meant clever when I said smart


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KitLily
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14 Oct 2023, 12:01 pm

babybird wrote:
I think you're pretty cool

Yes I meant clever when I said smart


Thanks I think? Is cool a good thing?

Ah right, I always thing smart means neat and tidy.


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babybird
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14 Oct 2023, 12:13 pm

KitLily wrote:

Thanks I think? Is cool a good thing?

Ah right, I always thing smart means neat and tidy.


That's why you're cool because you're just yourself and you're quite beguiling


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KitLily
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15 Oct 2023, 4:15 am

babybird wrote:
KitLily wrote:

Thanks I think? Is cool a good thing?

Ah right, I always thing smart means neat and tidy.


That's why you're cool because you're just yourself and you're quite beguiling


Thanks :heart: I wish people in real life thought so :(


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Benjamin the Donkey
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16 Oct 2023, 4:03 am

babybird wrote:
KitLily wrote:

Thanks I think? Is cool a good thing?

Ah right, I always thing smart means neat and tidy.


That's why you're cool because you're just yourself and you're quite beguiling


It's weird.

I've definitely never thought of myself as remotely cool. But my girlfriend tells me I'm cool because, paradoxically, I don't care about or even understand being cool.


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JustFoundHere
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19 Oct 2023, 3:33 pm

It can be helpful to draw comparisons via information online found by searching, 'positive Autism traits.'



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22 Oct 2023, 3:50 am

KitLily wrote:
I must try and cultivate that. I'm naturally like that but I'm usually surrounded by women who don't like that attitude. They have their own language and innuendos and customs which are a mystery to me. Usually centred around weight, diet and food, I don't give a f**k about any of that.


That sounds dreadful. I hope they have hidden depths that will make them good friends to you. I am learning the hard way that we can't always choose who we live around, but something in me is still pushing against this realization and hoping to "find my people" somewhere out there one day.
Anyway, I have a list that I keep to remind me of positive traits, so that I am better able to see my good sides. I copied it from a German book, so I hope the traits all translate okay-ish-ly to English: Honesty, integrity, loyalty, sense of justice, accuracy, factual orientation, objectivity, tenacity, perfectionism, low levels of intrigue, an unerring view of problems, unusual perspectives, unusual forms of creativity or the special feature that monotonous things are not so quickly perceived as boring.

You have mentioned that they use some of your good traits to mock you. Could this be friendly teasing? I definitely use people's good traits to tease them with. I thought this was what friends do, but I'm probably wrong and should attempt to stop that behaviour.



colliegrace
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22 Oct 2023, 6:12 am

We notice things other people don't and bring a unique perspective.


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blitzkrieg
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22 Oct 2023, 8:06 am

Being earnest is a common, positive, autistic trait.