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coyote
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17 Nov 2004, 11:16 am

He (a co-worker) just suddenly stops to talk to me. He still talks to me but only in a polite manner and he escapes as soon as he can.

Should i try to know ? Should i go to him and simply ask him ? Should i just forget that ? Have this happened to you ?

It is not the first time this happen to me, and i had always been left in the dark as to what was the cause :cry:



Civet
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17 Nov 2004, 11:17 am

I suggest you ask him.

He may not be willing to talk about it, if that is the case, don't push him, because that will only drive him further away. But if he does choose to speak to you (which may take time, as well), then you have to be receptive to what he is saying. Try not to become too defensive, if possible.



chamoisee
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18 Nov 2004, 2:01 pm

I don't know. This happens to me all the time, or, I should say, it *happened* to me all the time. These days I regard most NT's as superficial and phony unless proven otherwise (and it can take a lot to prove that). They are being "nice". "Nice" to them means nice and insincere. I do not understand it, I would rather have them be removed and friendly in an objective way...but that is the way they are.

An aspie friend (who has helped me SO much that I feel very indebted to her) told me about the 'prisoner's dilemma'. The way she explained it is this: when interacting with NT's do what they do to you. If they are friendly and helpful, be helpful. If a co-worker routinely lets you do the bulk of the work, don't go out of your way to help them, just mind your own business....that it is very necessary for us aspies to pay attention not to what people SAY, but what they <b>DO</b>, because they don't mean most of what they say, anyway. This has helped me a lot since I started doing it, made work much more bearable than it had been...so I hope it might be useful to soemone else.