Grrrrr my husband. Anyone hate getting new clothes?

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What granatelli (I think that's right) said struck a chord. My husband, who is NT, recently said something of the same to me. At home, I like to wear loose-fitting pants and warm tops. I dress for comfort, not style. But my husband expressed a desire that I would occasionally wear something nicer. So now I try to greet him in a dress or skirt (infinitely more comfortable than pants) and top rather than loungewear or pyjamas, and put on at least lipstick. I completely understand that while he wants me to be comfortable, he also wants me to look nice. It makes him feel like I appreciate him more if I pretty myself up -- and I always let him approve my clothes before we go out anywhere!

Sometimes he turns into a contrl freak. He wants to get me a new coat because it's "ruddy" I think that's the word he used. But my coat is still fine, sure it has a rip but it can be sewed easily. I don't want a new coat, I like my old coat. He says he has been trying to get me to get a new coat for two years but not he has to force it. He says he will get me a new coat anyway without me and toss my old one out and it be in a dumpster in another spot. I hope he was just kidding and he wouldn't really do this to me.


Anyone hate getting new clothes or new shoes or new coats? Anyone hate it when people like your family or spouse tries to get you a new coat or shoes or clothes? I even hate shopping for bras so I wear them until they break or start poking me, I wear my socks until they have too many holes in them. I wear my underwear until it's all worn such as too much holes in them and the seams are ripping. I even have some pairs from high school, seven pairs from when I was 14. I recenly got new ones because I had to toss some pairs out over the last two years. I got them as I was getting jeans for work. Ones I can wear out, not my own.
My husband notices how I never update my wardrobe or even get new clothes. He says most women get new clothes to stay pretty. I even have very few clothes from my pre teens and early teens and I still have clothes from when I was in high school.

I don't know why I don't like getting new clothes, maybe because I like things to be the same and I have always hated when I outgrow my clothes but when I get new ones, I would like them. But now that I am done growing, I have kept my clothes and never had to get rid of them. I let it keep growing and growing when I see clothes I like in thrift stores and buying them. But I have managed to get rid of some of my clothes and it wasn't easy. But I had decided two years ago I was done getting more so I don't bother looking at any or else I might end up buying. I have too much clothes. I have four tubs of them and the rest are in my closet and dresser. The only clothing I would only buy is the Benny & Joon shirt I still need to get. But I might wear that one out within a year. I'll just get another one.

That's what this thread is about, IMO. Not so much whether aspies hate to shop as much as it is aspies often just happen to like what they like & if that means ratty, ill fitting stain cloths then so be it. And like I said, the AS men can be just as bad or even worse. It's just that society lets men get away with looking like slobs easier.

Maybe keep your old coat and also buy a new one to wear occasionally?

Yes, yes. yes. : )

Again, I don't want to make too big of a deal about it. I'm glad my wife is comfortable enough around me to wear the same stained sweat pants for 3 or 4 days in a row. Really, I'm glad I can make her feel safe & secure enough to do that. But, as you said, it makes me feel like I'm a little special to her too if once in a while she cleans up & bit & trys to look nice for me. OK, maybe that's just a shallow NT thing but it's the way I feel.

That's what this thread is about, IMO. Not so much whether aspies hate to shop as much as it is aspies often just happen to like what they like & if that means ratty, ill fitting stain cloths then so be it. And like I said, the AS men can be just as bad or even worse. It's just that society lets men get away with looking like slobs easier.

It's all good. What's a few rips and tears in the overall scheme of things? : )

So... which is more important to you when your wife wears clothes that you think are nice
: that she is wearing the nice clothes
or
:that she has made the effort for your sake?

I'd have to say that she's made an effort on my part.

A good relationship isn't only being accepting of who someone is, it is also being willing to try and satisfy your partners needs as well. That may be something as important as being sensitive to their sensory issues or it may be something as trivial as combing your hair & putting on a clean, nice fitting pair of jeans once in a while.

With a good relationship. yeah, you basically accept your partner as they are. But if your partner comes to you and says "Look, it's not a big deal but could you try & make yourself look nice for me now & then? It would make me feel like I am a special person to you.", well, IMO, a good partner would take that into consideration and try to put a little bit of effort into it once in a while.

I don't mean to make this a whole "AS vs NT" issue but perhaps there might be more here than old cloths. Perhaps it's the old "Lack of empathy" thing that we hear about. Maybe it's why sometimes aspies struggle w/relationships. They can't see their partners point of view. I dunno.

PS. None of this is aimed at Spokane Girl. Just thinking out loud a bit. Cheers.