She treats me like I am unintelligent

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mgran
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11 Feb 2010, 7:34 pm

Just checking in on this thread to offer moral support, and wish you well. Are you okay? Hope your teacher is behaving. In the UK we are coming up to Easter half term, and the kids will have a week off. I hope you are having a break soon... I don't know term times in your country, but just to let you know I'm thinking of you.



aziraphale
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15 Feb 2010, 10:22 am

I think you should tell her that you are hurt by this, or write a note to her if you are afraid of offending her.



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22 Feb 2010, 5:45 pm

There is a chance that your teacher doesn't even realize that she's treating you like this. She may just see it as being supportive when, in actuality, she's overdoing it.

In this case, I would still tell her. It's scary, especially considering that some teachers retaliate, but it can be done. You could talk to her about it and let her know that while you appreciate the help, it's a bit too much. If you need your parents and other teachers to help you talk to her about this, then get them involved. You might be surprised at how receptive she is. Be diplomatic, but don't make it sound like it's no big deal either.



neroulogicaly
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22 Feb 2010, 8:23 pm

Withdrawn wrote:
I truly like my new school, but one of my teachers treats my like I were very unintelligent.
She knows that she has to be clear when talking to me, but I think she's too clear.
She talks slowly and points at these things she is talking about. She says stuff like: "This is something new for you - it's like a challenge!" and "Oh, today it was many decisions for you to make."
She is aware that I think new situations are tough, and that I dislike to choose between different things.
I feel embarrassed when she's talking to me in that way when my classmates watch.
In fact I'm quite intelligent, and I hate how she treats me.
I just wish that people don't think I'm worse than the others, because I'm not!
I am not looking forward to see this teacher again.
The other teachers don't treat me like this.
What ought I do? :)


what to do hard to know what to do. depends on persons background how their mind works just complex stuff. some of the things people suggested mostly appropriate. coming off with something witty may help show intelligence. witty is known as quick on feet bassically quick at a humour response. perhaps make joke about something when she insults you? thats what i ussually do i come with a witty response in almost every sentence a person can say. this reminds me of my chemistry teacher in high school, was bad not like you defined your problem. what happened was she made game with making words with elemental table i made longest and rudest. kind of made point but not recommened.

i think it will be best to learn about the teachers way of thinking hard i know, then trying to make a response to it that is intelligent but not flat out insultive. what does this teacher teach? i think a letter to teacher will be good idea if you are very shy as stated by some people in previous posts.
its hard for me to know if she is trying to help you or just trying to put you down. NT behaviour is sometimes like this ignorant to how it may make you feel but she may not know if you not show/say it bothers you after all no one is a mind reader.

if what she is doing continues after being informed of how you feel about your treatment i would recommend telling parent/teachers about this. one last thing if you are to write a letter maybe tell how you want to be treated. like what do you not like the knocking on door if open? school is a business pupils are the customers, businesses use customer service to please customers. your bassically a customer in your school

the order i think will be best is
1. letter to get her informed about how you feel
2. if she continues wit if your not to shy if so can cancel out this step
3. tell someone such as a parent/teacher.

if you would like to talk about this feel free i try my best to help you. i understand english is not your first language i tried to not make it to complex or simple. if not sure what something means just ask.

P.S. i recommend big words in letters maybe even words that she be like huh wow she knows big words i guess she is bright.


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23 Feb 2010, 12:28 pm

Oh, by some reason I didn't notice your replies before now.

I'm okey, but I haven't told anything to this teacher yet.
I meet her just once a week, sometimes more, and I think I can cope with it.
I guess I just have to think that she's a pathetic woman who doesn't know how to deal with me rightly, instead of doing a big thing out of it.

I really value all your help.


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25 Feb 2010, 3:36 pm

I just want to say:

Today when I met this teacher, I decided to change my way to behave.
I had eye contact with her, talked more than usual, and tried to smile a little bit.
And ... she changed her way to handle me! At least for this lesson.
She didn't talk slowly, and she didn't discriminate me.

Nice discovery, huh? :)


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voyage-one
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12 Mar 2010, 9:09 am

Just kindly tell her you feel degraded when she talks slowly.
Don't curse, don't yell.Just tell her nicely.



KE
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23 Aug 2010, 9:22 pm

I had a sub teacher do this to me once, I told him politely, to stfu.



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24 Aug 2010, 7:03 pm

Lol...we can talk and talk and write and brainstorm...but in the end...do we EVER really take that big stand?



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25 Aug 2010, 1:15 pm

The teacher is as tiresome as always. Yesterday she suggested drawing instead of working on the lesson of textile handicraft.
I was stressed and couldn't stop stimming, and she tried to calm me down although I just wanted to be left alone.


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AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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25 Aug 2010, 2:23 pm

Withdrawn wrote:
. . . I meet her just once a week, sometimes more, and I think I can cope with it. . .

Yes, you can, but you probably don't need to. And perhaps, instead of thinking of the whole situation in terms of a big showdown, or in terms of one big letter, maybe more in terms of just being matter-of-fact and business as in, "I think I get the thread, this one is multi-color and this one isn't, thank you very much," said almost with a sense of humor! And maybe several small (brief) letters if need be and that kind of back-and-forth dialogue and kind of ping-ponging it back and forth

I take it she's a once a week art teacher? which is kind of a shame because art is potentially a good class

---------------------------

In his book, YOU CAN NEGOTIATE ANYTHING, Herb Cohen said often the worse person to negotiate for a city is a mayor, and often the worse person to negotiate for a country is a president, because the person can give away the store. And he went on to say that often very effective negotiating, is to pick and ask and coach someone to negotiate on your behalf. (some of the book is readable on google books)


For example, if you try talking with her yourself, she might say that she 'hasn't been doing this' or she might even say that 'it doesn't really bother you' as if you don't know your own mind! really, Really! of course it really bothers me, I wouldn't bring it up if it didn't really bother me. Now, on a more serious side, if she were to say something like that, she would be invalidating your feelings, and that's not so cool. Now, she might recover, and in word or manner convey that she's sorry, that she didn't mean it. Some people have this kind of skill of recovery, and some people don't.

But on the negotiating thing, People do this all the time. In what I would consider to be very misguided attempts to save face, the person would rather blame you in some tricky and complicated way.

Whereas if your mother or father talks to this teacher in a very brief and matter-of-fact way, it's not even on the table that you're not 'really bothered' (or something else equally silly). Obviously, you're bothered by it or your parent wouldn't be talking to her about it. So, that part is just assumed. And then the conversation can become much more productive about how things need to change. And it sounds like probably just relatively small changes. It sounds like she just needs to graciously back off and try less hard.

So, please don't feel like you need to do this by yourself. Sometimes getting someone to negotiate on your behalf is the mature, responsible way to handle it.



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29 Aug 2010, 7:58 am

Hello, Withdrawn

I actually wish I had more teachers like that. I like to be able to easily understand things. My teachers say "do this" "do that" and I don't even know what they are talking about.



willmark
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30 Aug 2010, 1:39 pm

Withdrawn wrote:
I just want to say:

Today when I met this teacher, I decided to change my way to behave.
I had eye contact with her, talked more than usual, and tried to smile a little bit.
And ... she changed her way to handle me! At least for this lesson.
She didn't talk slowly, and she didn't discriminate me.

Nice discovery, huh? :)

I remember the day I made this discovery. For years I had felt invisible without knowing why, until I discovered that the way to turn that feeling off was to make eye contact with people. And by the same token, the way I get people to ignore me, or this works most of the time, is to avoid eye contact, though it is also a good way to get called rude and inconsiderate by family members. I have also discovered that I feel people through their eyes, and this experience can be stimulating with some people, and overwhelming with others.



jmnixon95
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30 Aug 2010, 2:14 pm

Withdrawn wrote:
I truly like my new school, but one of my teachers treats my like I were very unintelligent.
She knows that she has to be clear when talking to me, but I think she's too clear.
She talks slowly and points at these things she is talking about. She says stuff like: "This is something new for you - it's like a challenge!" and "Oh, today it was many decisions for you to make."
She is aware that I think new situations are tough, and that I dislike to choose between different things.
I feel embarrassed when she's talking to me in that way when my classmates watch.
In fact I'm quite intelligent, and I hate how she treats me.
I just wish that people don't think I'm worse than the others, because I'm not!
I am not looking forward to see this teacher again.
The other teachers don't treat me like this.
What ought I do? :)


What class does she teach you?



Stellar
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31 Aug 2010, 6:43 am

Withdrawn wrote:
I just want to say:

Today when I met this teacher, I decided to change my way to behave.
I had eye contact with her, talked more than usual, and tried to smile a little bit.
And ... she changed her way to handle me! At least for this lesson.
She didn't talk slowly, and she didn't discriminate me.

Nice discovery, huh? :)

That's awesome! :D You don't have to prove to her that you're just as good as everyone else, but it's always fun to.

I had a professor like this but he didn't talk slowly to me. You know how people change their tone of voice and their speed of speech when they think you're really wrong? He talked like that to me. He just dismissed everything I said in class and other random things that made me think he had something against me. Well I thought maybe it's because I missed the allowable maximum of days in class and didn't really need to study to get A's or some B's on his tests, and good grades on the homework assignments. I think he wanted to act like his class was really hard, but it was doable. I think it showed him that his lectures are useless (I'm not a conceited person, but really all he did was create mundane power-points when that same information could be found by simply opening the textbook).

Anyways, I needed nearly a perfect score on the final in order to get an A in the class, so that's when I actually studied, and I got 98% (there were 80 questions and some questions had to do with things that happened in the class, so the absent people would get those wrong) on the final, giving me an A in the whole class :lol: I think that pissed him off because when I emailed him about other things pertaining to the class he sounded like he had a super attitude, and he sounded like he did me a favor giving me an A. :roll: Well it was fun showing him that I'm not an idiot.