She treats me like I am unintelligent

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Deinonychus
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21 Jan 2010, 4:35 pm

I truly like my new school, but one of my teachers treats my like I were very unintelligent.
She knows that she has to be clear when talking to me, but I think she's too clear.
She talks slowly and points at these things she is talking about. She says stuff like: "This is something new for you - it's like a challenge!" and "Oh, today it was many decisions for you to make."
She is aware that I think new situations are tough, and that I dislike to choose between different things.
I feel embarrassed when she's talking to me in that way when my classmates watch.
In fact I'm quite intelligent, and I hate how she treats me.
I just wish that people don't think I'm worse than the others, because I'm not!
I am not looking forward to see this teacher again.
The other teachers don't treat me like this.
What ought I do? :)


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Last edited by Withdrawn on 25 Jan 2010, 1:19 am, edited 10 times in total.

deep-techno
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21 Jan 2010, 4:41 pm

Not sure if this would be the right approach...

...tell the teacher fo f**k off?

I wouldn't do that by any means but maybe someone else has.


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Deinonychus
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21 Jan 2010, 4:58 pm

deep-techno wrote:
Not sure if this would be the right approach...

...tell the teacher fo f**k off?

I wouldn't do that by any means but maybe someone else has.


Thanks for the advice, I guess. :)
I'm unfortunately too terrified... I can't say more than a few words.
And that's a big problem! I can't tell her that I dislike her way to treat me.


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Last edited by Withdrawn on 25 Jan 2010, 1:20 am, edited 1 time in total.

TheOddGoat
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21 Jan 2010, 5:47 pm

Withdrawn wrote:
deep-techno wrote:
Not sure if this would be the right approach...

...tell the teacher fo f**k off?

I wouldn't do that by any means but maybe someone else has.


Thanks for the advice, I guess. :)
I'm unfortunately too terrified... I can't say more than a few words.
And that's a big problem! I can't tell her that I dislike her way to treat me.


I think the problem is her, some teachers are like that.

Even if you spoke to her I think she'd be like that.

You're only 13, and around that age teachers still don't necessarily need to be smart because they can teach you from a book.



Lene
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21 Jan 2010, 6:32 pm

I think she is trying to do the right thing, but hasn't got a lot of experience dealing with aspies.

Maybe if you went up and were really diplomatic, you could end this without hurting anybody's feelings.

For example, you could go up after class and thank her for helping you adjust (even if it wasn't helpful in reality), but you are trying to 'mainstream' yourself so you can cope better in the real world and so would like to try to blend in with the others without extra help.

That way you look like you are being mature and she feels that her efforts have been appreciated.



Vince
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21 Jan 2010, 7:19 pm

Just say "I find the patronizing way you speak to me rather insulting."


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Lene
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21 Jan 2010, 7:36 pm

Vince wrote:
Just say "I find the patronizing way you speak to me rather insulting."


That would be the most direct way to phrase it. The only thing is, he may have to put up with this teacher for the rest of the year...



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Deinonychus
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22 Jan 2010, 1:03 am

Thank you everyone! :)

I don't think the teacher is used to deal with aspies, as you wrote, Lene.
I hope she'll realise that I am smart and actually can work on my own.

Yesterday she said:
"This is a plain yarn (pointing) and this is a multicoloured (pointing) yarn. A plain yarn, a multicoloured yarn. OK?"
:evil: Does she think that I'm blind, or just so stupid that I can't see what colour those yarns are? :(
And when I did something really simply, she exclaimed: "Very good!!"


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Last edited by Withdrawn on 25 Jan 2010, 1:21 am, edited 1 time in total.

asplanet
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22 Jan 2010, 1:19 am

How about simply copying this thread and email to her, says it all really 8O


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Keith
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22 Jan 2010, 3:20 am

Probably better to tell her to treat you no differently until you need help. Talking slowly? Are you deaf, or have English as a second language? Probably not...

If you feel uncomfortable about telling her, write it all down and pass it to her



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22 Jan 2010, 9:18 am

Yeah, I think I will write an email for her.
If I dare. :?
Thank you everybody!



mgran
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22 Jan 2010, 9:32 am

Vince wrote:
Just say "I find the patronizing way you speak to me rather insulting."

I think that's a great idea.

You should write to her, just as you have to us.

How about something like,
"Dear Miss....

I am writing to you because I'm finding your lessons very stressful. I know that I'm aspie, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. I find the patronising way you speak to me rather insulting. It makes me look foolish to the other children and that makes things hard for me.

I know you might not be used to teaching people with autism, but you are over compensating. It's making me very unhappy in your class, and I can't talk to you easily about this, which is why I'm writing. I hope that you will start treating me with more respect. Thank you."

I would also send a copy of this to the head teacher, head of department, etc.



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22 Jan 2010, 11:13 am

I would not send a copy to the head of the department, unless her behavior persists after you have brought it to her attention. It will be seen as an aggressive move on your part.

It doesn't sound as if she realizes there is any problem. If that's the case, then you probably do not want to be confrontational when speaking with her (or writing to her) about the issues you have with her behavior. It's unnecessary and will be seen as in appropriate.



Thellie
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22 Jan 2010, 12:02 pm

Writing it down might help. If not an email, then a letter, print it and hand it to her. Make sure you explain in the letter that you find it difficult to express this face to face but that you feel its needed to have it said.

And use some examples that has happened.

For instance "Last tuesday when I answered something a 2 year old could have gotten right, you praised me as if I had written an exam for two classes above me." so she can remember, and rethink those situations. And then realise what she is doing. Too general "You are patronising me" may be passing her by a bit.

If she has no foul intentions and means you well but just dont know how to handle you - odds are she is oblivious to what she is doing and just trying to be nice. :)


One thing is certain tho, if you dont tell her one way or another, either by copying this thread, writing an email or a letter... it will continue.



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Deinonychus
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22 Jan 2010, 12:27 pm

It is necessary to let her know, I think. Otherwise she'll continue this.
I don't think I can tell her with my voice - I got to write.

I appreciate your advice!