Women and the calmness fetish

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And MJackson, I can be very calm when immersed in something mesmerizing, at least in terms of physical activity level. Though I can then turn to being like a jumpy kid under certain circumstances. Plus, I cannot be comfortably still for long when NOT deeply enthralled by something. The keyword is comfortably, I can do it if I need to (for work/classes, etc.) but wouldn't choose to. It sometimes feels a bit like ADHD, except it hasn't impacted my attention in any really important way--unless you count my lack of attention to social cues.

It's ok to be like that man. Will Smith's first wife divorced him because she said he was TOO SILLY...thats what my mom told me. I dont know how true it is, but if so, then that's her. He got another wife though...i mean, he is famous and could get just about any girl he wanted, but the fact that he was silly was the reason his first wife divorced him, but other girls didnt seem to let it bother them. So what im telling you is that not everyone is the same, although it may seem that way.
The problem is is that girls base too much off of personality, that's the reason why aspie men and nt men have so much trouble with them. I mean, personality is important, but it aint that damn important to me. Think about how hard it would be for women if men wanted them to act extra feminine and giggle every two seconds, and bat their eyes like they have a nerve disorder. Women wouldn't like that too much. or if we required them to sleep with us on the first night, otherwise we cant love them.
Girls don't need personality in this world it seems, that's why aspie girls often get married and have kids, because how much personality do guys require for girls when all they have to do is insert their penis in their vagina.
For me all a girl has to be is pretty and cool. I dont want a stupid gril though, or one who does drugs or stuff im not interested in.
My dream girl is something more, but I cant judge. a girl by what kind I dream about, I have to give some a chance or else ill be lonely, or never find the dream girl.

All Im trying to say is that not everyone's the same, and yes I know what ypou mean about this calm fetish so you call it. A girl told me that she couldnt date me because I get frustrated to quick, like her dad.
She's just talking though she doesnt know what she wants, like most women. Thats why they find themselves in the predicaments that they are in later in life.

Are you trying to say adults who act young for their age? Or adults who hardout act like children figetting and being stupid etc?

I'm a goofy person most of the time but one learns to try and adapt to the adult world. There is a time every needs to grow up, if you have a silly nature like me, fine, but you can't be like that all the time.

It has nothing to do with acting stupid, or even necessarily silly. In fact, even as a kid I would say I rarely acted stupid. What I mean in terms of lack of calmness are things like the following:

-prefers to walk or pace around at home sometimes while doing things that many others would do sitting (e.g. eating snack or lunch)
-can be visibly energetic sometimes when happy
-tends to act either apathetic or interested and visibly excited
-finds it unnatural sometimes to slow down during activities like making out, cuddling, etc.
-may sometimes talk loud or fast

Those are quite different to figeting and thinking like a child. Those attributes aren't ones of people who act like children.
The reason people don't find it attractive it disrupts the energy in the room and puts them on edge.

I do those also, and its an anxiety thing, not a child thing.

I wouldn't call it an anxiety thing, at least in my case. It results from either by being really enthusiastic about something, or being bored and needing stimulation. So unless anxiety by your definition can be a positive or neutral thing rather than just negative, it doesn't really fit.

Though I've noticed people do tend to assume it's because I'm uncomfortable with some aspect of the surroundings. So they read something negative (in terms of what they think I'm feeling) rather than neutral or positive.

Calm and outgoing are not necessarily mutually exclusive, and I think that by "outgoing" they mean confident anyway. Guys who seem calm almost certainly appear confident as well, while confidence is a large part of being outgoing, so the ideas will all go hand-in-hand. Fair or not, confidence is equated with stability, reliability, dependability, safety, and security, and I think it would be natural for most people, both women and men, to be attracted to people who can inspire such feelings.

Being yourself isn't bad advice, though - if you aren't calm, pretending to be calm anyway will probably make things worse. I've found that admitting I'm shy or nervous actually helps me out - I suppose that being able to admit that seems to come across to other people as its own form of confidence. People also tend to be a little more supportive and encouraging then, which makes me feel a little better and more confident, which seems to make them feel better and more confident, feeding back and making everything go far more easily.

Some of you guys think too much, smoke a joint and just be yourself.

No one is the same.

Get these silly "in stone" ideas out of your head lol.

Another great post by Biostructure

biostructure, I guess I really haven't noticed. If a guy is hyper, figity, and immature, but in an over-macho way he doesn't seem to have those problems, much like a guy who's slight of build who looks like a porcelain doll who's calm/mellow gets very few benefits. Being calm can be seen as a sign of higher social or class status, or having significant power in well-aimed reserve, just that it has to be in a guy for whom its apparent that he has internal power - otherwise he's just meek.