Casual Dating.

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I've never done much casual dating... or much dating of any type. A date to me (since I broke up with my ex in 2005) has been an annual event to be celebrated, nothing close to commonplace. Yet it seems a lot of people casually date in an attempt to find that someone. I seem to have a mindset that I will find that "someone" and then date her, but it seems that the world doesn't work that way anymore, and I don't think it ever did.

How do I go about casually dating someone? Where do I find these girls to date?

Oh, I have the exact same attitude as you. I feel like I shouldn't go on a date with someone unless I fancy them. I think that I would prefer to find someone and then date them. Makes sense to me. I just need to find that someone.

From a female perspective, I'm a little too scared to go on a date with a man I hardly know. But I think that's because I read way too many crime novels.

I'm mostly afraid of being talked about to others and rumors being spread. December 2007 I had a date, and months later I found a forum message talking about how awkward I was (met the girl through a forum)

Someone I used to work with once phoned me to tell me that one of his friends had met one of my friends who worked in a local shop. He said, "do you think if he asks her out next time he goes into the shop she will say yes."

I said, "no, she doesn't know him."

He said, "but that's how they would get to know each other, if they went out on a date."

I don't understand.

Well, I'd say yes. I'm desperate for a date.

From what I've been gathering, most people don't see dates as meaningfully as we do. It might as well just be going out with a friend, nothing more. I've had contention with such definitions, but do know that that's how the rest of the world sees it.

I worry about this when "dating". I haven't had a relationship in years but have started "dating" this guy (first time dating at all in yrs really). He's probably on the spectrum, so I can only hope he has similar views to myself... But having learned the appalling nature of 'some' guys firsthand... I feel half afraid to ask particular things (I don't wanna come across as crazy either).

But I am trying to just enjoy nice slow and fun. It's hard though cause I love to be obsessed... It's hard to separate that from the things I like.

But I am content with the giddiness

Well, you don't. Instead you simply invite someone to come with you to something. Enjoy time with them, flirt where it's okay, but otherwise, just don't think of it as a date. It's just a perspective shift, but in my opinion it helps tons.

Casual dating is a necessity to get to a relationship. It is often the only way to get to know a partner in a romantic context. Rarely does one go to friend to long term relationship. It often goes casual dating ->short term relationship->long term relationship->seriously committed. Rarely does it leap these phases, because honestly, if I did not know someone after casually dating them do I want to commit. That is why it is best to start out casual, and always say you will see how it will evolve past that.

One has to realize there is no real rules with regards to pacing, every relationship is different. But the casual dating phase is important to me because it allows me to get to know the other person and to see if there is sparks and the potential for something more long term.

Yeah I think it just means dating someone you meet but don't really know to see if you hit it off.. I'm guessing like people who meet in clubs and stuff.

Non casual dating I guess means knowing the person properly before you go on a date.